Puppy is not playful!

[Murphys Law]

sorry but give it 4 weeks and we will see you back on here saying heeelp I think I have a devil puppy , I don't want to spoil the honeymoon period but stick around we are here for you 

This 

[Ninni]

I hope you are all right! But I'm still not convinced Ela is settling in, she is comfortable around the house and us, she eats and drinks OK, she is getting on well with her toilet training and she is lively in the morning and at night but I still feel at times she is a lot more placid than I expected. She doesn't rush about unless encouraged and she does not approach people, then she shyes away.

I guess I am still concerned because I have been reading now when choosing your puppy, you should NOT pick the one that doesn't come out or up to you. And Ela definitely didn't. The breeder had to go and get her, she was OK to sit with us but she seemed more scared than anything for the first 45 minutes, just sitting on us. The other one was playing, licking, biting, bouncing around within minutes.

So I guess I am worried that this is an indication of her temperament? Do you think in our, very lively, bouncy, family environment and with meeting other people and having new experiences, she will come out of her shell? I am just worried we picked the wrong puppy, and should have gone for the confident, happy, bouncy, explorer? The breeder did suggest she thought Ela would suit us better - I am not sure why she said that but that is what made us choose her I think. The other temperament would seem like a more natural fit in our family. I am just concerned that she will stay timid and not the very classic cocker nature - which is why we wanted a cocker spaniel - forever wagging tail, happy, playful and full of energy.

You talk about "honey moon period" is this the settling in period, how long is that going to last? I want her to be mad! Sorry, just playing on my mind still.

[MIN]

There will be people on here who will be so envious of you with your quiet pup while they have to put up with the pup from hell 
Just give her time and enjoy the peace. The she devil will awaken 
   Remember the quiet kid at the back of the classroom, they usually turn out to be the polices most wanted

[Pearly]

I hope you are all right! But I'm still not convinced Ela is settling in, she is comfortable around the house and us, she eats and drinks OK, she is getting on well with her toilet training and she is lively in the morning and at night but I still feel at times she is a lot more placid than I expected. She doesn't rush about unless encouraged and she does not approach people, then she shyes away.

I guess I am still concerned because I have been reading now when choosing your puppy, you should NOT pick the one that doesn't come out or up to you. And Ela definitely didn't. The breeder had to go and get her, she was OK to sit with us but she seemed more scared than anything for the first 45 minutes, just sitting on us. The other one was playing, licking, biting, bouncing around within minutes.

So I guess I am worried that this is an indication of her temperament? Do you think in our, very lively, bouncy, family environment and with meeting other people and having new experiences, she will come out of her shell? I am just worried we picked the wrong puppy, and should have gone for the confident, happy, bouncy, explorer? The breeder did suggest she thought Ela would suit us better - I am not sure why she said that but that is what made us choose her I think. The other temperament would seem like a more natural fit in our family. I am just concerned that she will stay timid and not the very classic cocker nature - which is why we wanted a cocker spaniel - forever wagging tail, happy, playful and full of energy.

You talk about "honey moon period" is this the settling in period, how long is that going to last? I want her to be mad! Sorry, just playing on my mind still.

If you've not had a dog before or for a very long time then I think your breeder has been very responsible in giving you a pup, that may need her own space to be calm from time to time but will turn in to a biddable beautiful natured girl.  When Pebbles arrived next door it was mid summer and very hot, she barely moved for three weeks - to be fair she barely moves now  but can be taken anywhere and trusted in all situations. 

The benefit of having a quieter pup is that she will also train your children - while it's lovely to see kids running around with a pup in hot pursuit - actually, what they are doing is training her to be badly behaved in the future.......with Ela being a calm little thing, they will need to be more gentle with her, perhaps training rather than "playing" which then involves the whole family.

To be honest, as Lorna has said above, I'm more than envious of you - I have two cockers both of which were more than lively as young pups: Pearl was the ring leader who wound the litter up in to a frenzy then sat back and watched, where Coral watched, assessed and when the rest of the litter were happily playing and distracting the humans went off in a different direction to cause mayhem!

Ela sounds a beautiful pup

[bizzylizzy]

I had EXACTLY the same concerns with Humphrey after we'd picked him up because all the other puppies were rushing around and the breeder had to go and wake him up to give him his meal and I'd read what you'd heard, that one shouldn't choose the timid one. He's now 7 months is developing beautifully, socially he's laid back and confident without being over pushy, which I actually find much easier to cope with than the Alpha kind. Puppies do need an awful lot of sleep too, - that was also something of a surprise to me as I was expecting him to be jumping about and playing 24\7. I honestly wouldn't worry too much, she's still very young (Humphrey was 10 weeks before the breeder let us take him home), give her space to have time out and rest and if she doesn't want to play, leave her a bit and try later. The children obviously want her to play but if she feels pestered, she'll become anxious. Let her lead the way and you'll find, as the weeks go by, she'll become more and more active and need less sleep - its a bit like with children. Best of Luck! 

[Mudmagnets]

Just had a thought reading this, is she comfortable in her tummy, has she been regularly wormed, only wondering, as if she is not comfortable, that would have an effect on whether she wants to charge around. Some pups suffer in silence, and therefore although you know things aren't quite right, you are not sure why.

[minimoo]

When I went to get my youngest cocker , I originally went to look at a small black bitch, I asked to see the orange roan boy , he was sitting under the table quietly the black girl was playing with my other boy cocker and going crazy we picked her up but she just wanted to go back to playing madly with our boy. we picked the quiet orange boy and he was quiet for about 4 days until he settled in he was a slightly older pup at 14 weeks as was his sister , but then he just became a naughty cocker pup. remember its all very new to your puppy shes away from the place she was born her litter mates and her mum, I honestly wouldn't worry, just enjoy your beautiful little girl .

[Ninni]

Thank you, yes, I am sure you are all right, it's just me having a picture in my head and being a worrier by nature! I have never had dogs, my husband has however, including a cocker, although that was obviously growing up and not the person with the main responsibility. So, yes, maybe it was a good thing by the breeder. My husband is also more relaxed by her behaviour than I am, more like you, so it is probably just me.

Re the worms, she has been wormed every two weeks and she is due again in a week's time, however she is constantly scratching herself and seem distracted at times by the scratching and last night when she had done a pooh, she definitely dragged her bottom immediately afterwards. But she hasn't done that again so maybe it was just a coincidence?

[Mudmagnets]

Re the worms, she has been wormed every two weeks and she is due again in a week's time, however she is constantly scratching herself and seem distracted at times by the scratching and last night when she had done a pooh, she definitely dragged her bottom immediately afterwards. But she hasn't done that again so maybe it was just a coincidence?

Personally I would be concerned too, I would give it a day or two then if no better, or you are still worried maybe worth a vet visit, if only to make sure everything is as it should be.

[lescef]

I think maybe Maddie is like Ela. We were given her as she was the only blue roan in the litter and that had been my colour preference. Having had two lively cockers previously we did find it strange. She's now 5, doesn't play unless it involves food, and is quite an independent dog. She wasn't overly confident puppy but I wouldn't have said she was shy either. If you think Ela is shy, give her as many positive experiences as possible and when she seems calm reward her with treats which will help her confidence. In terms of playing -work to her strengths when you find out what she likes best. With Maddie she loves tracking things and sniffing out toys.

[Joules]

Errr, so you have had this puppy for 3 days right??? 

She is probably overwhelmed by the change and by leaving her mum and siblings.  Give her a chance to settle in and build her confidence. 

A few questions:

How old are your children? 
Have you taught them to leave her in peace when she is quiet and needs to rest or when she is eating? 
Does she have a pen/crate or other safe, den like space where she can chill?

Is she having plenty of sleep and rest time when you and your kids leave her to sleep?  Pups that age sleep A LOT!

Give her space, plenty of rest time and GENTLE and calm interaction and play.  Let her come out of her shell in her own time and I am sure she will become more confident in time.

Believe me, you will be happy to have a calm pup when you read some of the posts on here from people with children who realise that small children and pups can be a nightmare combination    There have been cases of people whose kids spent the first few weeks sitting on the back of the sofa to get away from the biting whirling dervish of a pup.  Be careful what you wish for - a pup is not a toy, and they are all different.  Very few of us have ended up with exactly what we had imagined when we got our pups, especially if not experienced with dogs. 

You have your pup now and it is up to you to do the best for her.  If she is a bit timid and quiet, then you just need to be patient and let her develop in her own time. 

Now, stop worrying (pups will pick up on it) and enjoy your pup - the puppy stage will be over before you know it and you will wonder what you worried about 

[Markr64]

Brilliant advice from Joules, but I would also keep an eye and maybe just get a vet check to make you feel a bit better.

[Ninni]

Errr, so you have had this puppy for 3 days right??? 

I recognise that, I am talking about her general temperament as we are getting to know her and as she settles in.

She is probably overwhelmed by the change and by leaving her mum and siblings.  Give her a chance to settle in and build her confidence. 

A few questions:

How old are your children? 5, 8 and 10
Have you taught them to leave her in peace when she is quiet and needs to rest or when she is eating?  Yes
Does she have a pen/crate or other safe, den like space where she can chill? Yes

Is she having plenty of sleep and rest time when you and your kids leave her to sleep?  Pups that age sleep A LOT! Yes

Give her space, plenty of rest time and GENTLE and calm interaction and play.  Let her come out of her shell in her own time and I am sure she will become more confident in time. I am just asking for advice exactly HOW to do that. I don't want to push her and I figured if there are ways of doing this "the right way".

Believe me, you will be happy to have a calm pup when you read some of the posts on here from people with children who realise that small children and pups can be a nightmare combination    There have been cases of people whose kids spent the first few weeks sitting on the back of the sofa to get away from the biting whirling dervish of a pup.  Be careful what you wish for - a pup is not a toy, and they are all different.  Very few of us have ended up with exactly what we had imagined when we got our pups, especially if not experienced with dogs. 

My kids are rather confident and sensible in general and very much so around animals. I wouldn't let them get in to that situation OR treat any animal like a toy. That goes without saying.

You have your pup now and it is up to you to do the best for her.  If she is a bit timid and quiet, then you just need to be patient and let her develop in her own time.  Yes, I want to do what's best for her which is why I asked for advice here.

Now, stop worrying (pups will pick up on it) and enjoy your pup - the puppy stage will be over before you know it and you will wonder what you worried about  I am not worried to that extent so that it would affect her but as a first time dog owner (myself, not my husband who isn't worried about this) I felt the need to consult experienced dog owners and cocker spaniel friends. I guess that is what this forum is for. We love Ela regardless of her temperament and enjoy her fully but as we found ourselves in a situation we had not expected or prepared for, I felt the need to change approach. I had expected a devil puppy and had prepared myself for that. Not a timid one and I am just trying to understand what I need to do for her now.

We had her Vet checked on Friday and he was happy with her so that's good.

Thank you for your advice.

[Patp]

All sounds very normal and you sound like a very responsible owner.  I sought more advice on here when I had a pup  than I asked when my children were born!
now if you would just concentrate on uploading some photos which is a requirement of this forum, ok just it's members, to make us all puppy broody x

[Mudmagnets]

So pleased that the vet check proved positive.

I think if you were reading some of the puppy from  threads, it must have come as a worry when yours proved to be a little  in comparison. Sometimes the folks who do not have probs with their pups don't tend to post initially, other than to say pup has arrived (& is of course  )  that gives the impression that all cocker puppies can be a right handful, so it comes as quite a shock to the system when your pup is not as 'normal' as you expected, then you start asking the reason why. Will say for the majority who  post with problems, most of the pups have grown up well adjusted and their owners have survived all be it with copious amounts of wine and chocolate 

I hope you and your family enjoy your puppy/dog for many years to come