Apologies for the very long post but I’d be really grateful for help on this please. We are seriously considering whether or not we can keep our pup, as his behaviour is putting strain on us as a family and I’m feeling completely suffocated.
We are a family of four (me, hubbie, daughter 13 and son 9). Our household is relatively calm and we consider ourselves reasonably intelligent and well-read. I work part time from home.
Our golden male show cocker is now 19.5 weeks old. We got him when he was 9 weeks. He is walked twice a day. The first is in the morning and is about 30 mins, usually off-lead and a 20-25 minute walk later in the day (usually early evening). In addition we spend a little time doing mind/brain games with him. In between he has plenty of undisturbed rest and sleep time.
He shows a number of signs of aggression and also separation anxiety, which have been evident from the beginning.
What we don’t know is what is ‘normal’, as the 3 trainers who’ve been over to the house have said he’s a particularly feisty cocker (although none have actually witnessed his behaviour). He has also completed puppy classes.
To break down things:
He bites when I put on a lead and harness, (this process is stressful, frustrating and my hands and arms are covered in scratches and marks)*, bites when you sit to stroke and cuddle (does this immediately), still pulls at shoes and the clothes we are wearing, bites when being (gently) towel dried and most recently bit the groomer when she touched his paws (first time there) and the vet when being handled.
The vet has advised that we seek help from a behaviourist and is concerned that things will get worse, not better.
*no one else in the household is brave enough to put the harness and lead on him.
In addition he often bites unprovoked. For example my 9 year old may be sitting at the kitchen table and our pup just comes up and bites him - from nowhere! This isn’t playful, or mouthing. If my son has a friend over to play, I worry that the dog will exhibit this behaviour spontaneously. I appreciate that i could separate the dog from the kids, but this really isn’t a solution - it just masks the problem.
We try and replace biting with chew toys which make no difference, nor does yelping, saying ouch, time out or any other suggested methods of distraction.
We have been consistent in our approach so we are rather stumped as to whether or not this is normal behaviour. We have numerous friends with puppies or dogs and none of them have had these issues to the extent we have.
We do reward good behaviour and give treats where appropriate.
With regard to separation, he is crate trained at night and other than the first couple of weeks of crying at night, he happily goes into his crate (which is downstairs in the tv room) about 10:30pm and we don’t hear hear from him in the morning until around 6:30am.
He follows me around the downstairs of the house, and when I go upstairs (we have a gate on the stairs), or go into a room he’s not allowed in, he cries and barks until I come down/out. I’ve tried giving him toys, filled kongs etc and nothing makes any difference.
I also got a puppy cam after suspecting him being unhappy about being left home alone. In increments of 15 minutes I left him in his crate, with a few toys, stuffed kong and the tv on. Upon return I hear him barking, and now can see him on the camera. By 1.5 hours, he is barking, pacing in the crate, digging in it and biting the crate and also himself. He looks really distressed.
He’s only properly calm for the first hour in the crate. Admittedly if I didn’t have the camera, I wouldn’t know what’s going on, but my suspicions are that he is really anxious about being left alone, despite being happy to go into his crate at night.
Unfortunately everything considered, I haven’t bonded with him at all. My husband is really trying to have a relationship, and my son isn’t at all attached. I think my son sees him as a hindrance and sees how stressed I’ve become since getting the pup. Only my daughter has developed a relationship with him however she is at school all day and has lots of weekend commitments. My sister pops over to our house throughout the week and she too has a relationship with him).
I wondered if anyone else has been through something similar and come out the other side. I appreciate that every situation is different but before we start enlisting the help of a behaviourist and haemorrhaging even more money, i am keen to get an understanding from other Cocker parents. Thanks!