Dreading family coming to visit this week - Honey's reaction (what happened)

[kb]

We are having family to visit for a day this week that we haven't seen for a few tears.

To be precise they are my BIL, his wife and 3 teenage girls.

They are very animal friendly, but I am dreading Honey's reaction.

Having read many of the threads on here recently, I am convinced that her reactions are fear - but it is really embarassing. Especially when you have children who ahve behaviours which can sometimes be challenging and an extremely antisocial rescue cat. It makes us all seem very dysfunctional .


She will bark constantly when they come to visit. If they move she will bark, if they talkk to her on anything other than her terms she will bark, if there is food around (which there will be) she will growl at them, and if they come near me she will bark. She will be all over me (for reassurance) - trying to get on my knee and pawing at me - but she won#t take her eyes off them.

They will all think she is badly behaved (my aunt keeps telling me how frightened she is of Honey), but the reality is, I think, she is anxious and wary.

Please someone tell me I am right in believing this and how do I convince others that is what is wrong with her?

[cdpops]

Hello
I am really not an expert at all. I don't know why she does these things and sometimes you never find out why, but she will be very anxious because of all the changes to her routine and the numbers of people in the house.
Is there not a place she can go, where she can be alone for some of the time, and feel more secure maybe with some stuffed kongs or other things to keep her occupied.
As for your visitors opinions I would not worry, she is your dog and you mange the situation as you think best. I would give strict instructions to your visitors on how you want THEM to behave towards honey.
Hope it goes ok, I am sure somebody with some experience will be along soon
Good luck
Claire

[Cob-Web]

No-one knows Honey like you do 

If this kind of visit is going to stress her out, is there any way she can be kennelled or stay with someone who understands her for a few days? 

[Dragon]

We are considering re-introducing  a crate for housing Molly, so that when people come to visit she will hopefully see this as her secure area.

Mark (from Top Barks) has suggested that we use a house line for Molly so that we/others can move her safely to other areas of the house if there any incidents.

[kb]

I was thinking of giving her some rescue remedy before they came - has anyone ever tried it?

[Cockerlove]

I was thinking of giving her some rescue remedy before they came - has anyone ever tried it?

Yes. I find it works wonderfully on my dog. She is terrified of fireworks so it works wonders. 

[kb]

How much do you give?

[spanielcrazy]

Haven't had to use it in a while thankfully, but I believe it's just one or two droppers full.

I agree with the others, if she's that stressed out by the visitors, is there a quiet room or crate where you can put her that will make her feel safe? Not to mention it will help lower your stress level too. 

[Cockerlove]

How much do you give?

I give two drops of RR, and that is sufficient for our problem. 

[CraftySam]

Remember the issues I have with Barney and my niece KB?

He dislikes her with a passion after she hurt him as a pup, and Barney holds grudges.....long ones.  At Christmas I tried everything in my power to reintegrate them including herbal anxiety drops, wearing a bandanna sprayed in DAP spray, having my niece wear one too, lots of positive interaction with lots of nice treats involved and I even had him sleeping with an old vest of hers so that he got used to her smell being around in a relaxing environment but as soon as he can't see her but can smell her approaching he snaps.  So I took the decision not to have them mix together. For us its not a big deal as they don't live near and only have contact 6 or so times a year.

But they made two unexpected visits to me while staying at my parents recently, when normally all visiting is done round at my parents so Barney has just stayed at home.  So I had to hurriedly get Barney set up in his soft crate in our bedroom, with a Kong for entertainment, and I shut the door.  My niece who's 4 wanted to know where he was, despite Barney's reaction to her she still likes him. So I just had to say he was sleeping and couldn't be woken up.
Confirmation that this was the right thing to do really came from Barney.  He absolutely HATES to think he's missing out on anything. If he thinks he is doing then he will scream and scream.  Yet he never made a sound. He will have heard my niece alot, we are all on the ground floor with the bedroom next to the lounge, and I'm absolutely sure thats why he didn't start to cry.

Is this something you could do? If they are staying for quite a while perhaps you could nip out with her for a run round the garden or a quick walk and then put her back out of the way.  

I know that removing Barney from a situation he hates made him happier and it made me so much less stressed.  

If you don't have anywhere that she could go and stay when they visit perhaps you could give this ago.  Hope to manage to work something out.

[kb]

I do remember your niece Sam.

The thing is they are all very well experienced with animals - and adore animals. I'm hoping that her presence won't be any kind of novelty to them (the eldest has just come back from working in a game reserve in Zimbabwe ).

I have probably left it a little late to worry - but a soft crate is something I have been thinking about. The trouble is she barks whne left out of things - she's a terrible nuisance .

[Emmylou]

Sounds quite similar to Cosby.  He goes mad when anyone enters the house and barks loudly at them and races round the room.  At the same time, he won't be shut away or in another room and is hysterical if you try and leave him in a room by himself.

As  a result not many people come to our house.  What we do is instruct people to ignore him.  Don't talk to him, try to pet him and especially not shout at him.  Sometimes we give people biscuits/treats which they can drop from their hands, whilst continuing to ignore him.  He never really settles, even if people are there for 3 or 4 days, but he does calm down and get used to them being around.  The problem is getting people to co operate.  You tell people to ignore him, but it's difficult when a dog is barking loudly at you and you can't hear yourself speak.  It sounds as if this may be your biggest problem, getting people to realise that she is fearful and doesn't want to be petted constantly.  It may help if she has a safe place to go although if she is not happy being left out of things (like Cosby) then all you are doing is making her associate people coming to the house with being locked away.  My advice would be to just try and ride the storm!!

As to what other people think, we have stopped caring.  He's our dog and he lives in our house.  Good luck

[Dragon]

Sounds quite similar to Cosby.  He goes mad when anyone enters the house and barks loudly at them and races round the room.  At the same time, he won't be shut away or in another room and is hysterical if you try and leave him in a room by himself.

Yep, Sasha too. She's quite the demanding diva We're going to try to address this using a clicker.  Sasha also barks loudly whenever the car stops and would race around the car if she wasn't harnessed in Usually, she ends up in a right tangle with the seat belt/harness.

[happydog]

I agree with Emmylou. As soon as they arrive ask them firmly to please totally ignore Honey, not to approach her or pat her for at least a couple of hours and then only if she approaches them first. Ask them to avoid eye contact with her at all times too. Tell her she is a nervous dog, not used to so many people in your house at once and that avoiding eye contact is a doggie calming signal and she will eventually settle.

If they are animal lovers they should understand. If not then tough. You have told them and you cant do more. I would leave all doors inside the house open initially and then she can escape to her safe bolt hole if she wishes, but you know your dog and whether this would work for her or not.

[kb]

The lengths we go to for our dogs