Dreading family coming to visit this week - Honey's reaction (what happened)

[CraftySam]

The trouble is she barks whne left out of things - she's a terrible nuisance .

At the same time, he won't be shut away or in another room and is hysterical if you try and leave him in a room by himself.

Barney IS exactly the same. Just ask my neighbours!    If he's in the crate when someone comes round he carries on alarmingly if he can't get out and go and investigate. Whenever he thinks he is missing out on what the other dogs are doing or if there is anything going on that he's not involved in then he does carry on, though does be quiet when told.
However when my niece was around there wasn't a peep out of him, even though he was away from the other dogs too.  So I think that having heard my niece around he was relieved to be tucked away.

It sounds like you feel Honey should meet the visitors, so if thats the case and she is fine all well and good but if she gets stressed then you may find she's happy to be tucked away on her own with a tasty kong.
I agree with the advice given about what you should tell your guests when they arrive.

[Cob-Web]

The lengths we go to for our dogs

There are lots of suggestions on the "square peg, round hole" thread about managing the dogs environment which might be helpful 

Are your guests the type that will "listen" to you and do as you ask, or could they inadvertently make things worse by meddling? Even animal lovers and people experienced with animals often do the "wrong" thing because they don't know the dog or it's triggers - maybe it's worth a phone call before they arrive explaining that you have a training programme in place and how important it is that they do as you ask, even if they don't think it is necessary? 

[Colin]

She will be all over me (for reassurance) - trying to get on my knee and pawing at me - but she won#t take her eyes off them.

Some good advice and tips already - but with regards to the above... I wouldn't encourage or give in to this. Rather than reassure her it's more likely to reinforce her behaviour and make her worse.

Hope the visit goes well.

[kb]

That's what I thought Colin - people say things like Oh how sweet she is protecting you - but I think she is seeking protection; not giving it.

To tell you the truth I have a headache thinking about it 

Firstly I have my daughters reactions (with Aspergers) to think of - although she has met BIL and remembers him, she doesn't remember the rest of them. Then I ahve Honeys - oh to have a happy-go-lucky family. They probably will take her as they find her - but I will worry anyway .

I really think my anxiety makes her more anxious - perhaps I should take the rescue remedy

[happydog]

perhaps I should take the rescue remedy

Of course you should take it too. It's great stuff  .

[Penel]

Now listen here kb - you have to stop this  you have just said that the whole family who are visiting you are animal friendly - have they met Honey before ?  Just tell them to leave her alone, ignore her, and you do the same.  If you are confident, she will be too - now stop stressing about it, and look forward to seeing them - it WILL be fine if YOU make it so.  I frequently have people round that aren't animal friendly,  I just tell them very firmly to please ignore the dogs and then the dogs settle.
Btw I find Emergency Essence (an Australian Bush Essence) much better than RR.

[kb]

You think I am worrying too much then Penel?

I think you may be right- do you think it's possible I make her more anxious?

[Cob-Web]

You think I am worrying too much then Penel?

I think you may be right- do you think it's possible I make her more anxious?

I certainly think it is possible for a dog to detect changes in peoples emotions, although they may not know what it means, they will react to the fact that it is different to the "norm" 

I also think that changes in emotion can become "cues" to dogs, in the same way as physical actions - so in the same way as some dogs know they are going out when their owner puts on a certain pair of shoes, then Honey knows that there are going to be house guests purely through the fact that she detects the same changes in your emotions before each visit 

[Penel]

You think I am worrying too much then Penel?

I think you may be right- do you think it's possible I make her more anxious?

I think most people worry too much - dogs will follow your natural leadership (that word again) so if you worry about it, she will worry about it.  Absolutely you are making her more anxious -  I can imagine Honey going "Mum Mum whats the matter?" but actually she is going bark bark bark............
Really whats the worst that can happen - she barks, so flipping what, it's your house  if they really are animal savvy they will just ignore it.

[kb]

I suppose I fear she might actually bite - if you push her she can become aggressive nearly. I would say that would be their own fault, but they wouldn't.

[Penel]

Well tell them to ignore her, then she won't    ANY dog could bite, if it's put in the wrong circumstances !

[spanielcrazy]

Try to read "Calming Signals, On Talking Terms With Dogs" by Turid Rugaas (sp?) This is also the link to her website, which has a fab question and answer section:

http://www.canis.no/rugaas/index.php

[kb]

Thankyou - I have been trying to remember the name of that website and couldn't

[Jan/Billy]

Another thing I'd add is that you must speak to your family BEFORE they arrive. Don't leave it until they are actually in your house.

Dish out the rules & then relax & everything will be fine 

[Emmylou]

I have to agree with Penel, don't worry too much.  The more stressed you become, the more likely she will become stressed.  If you make the event as relaxed and calming and natural as you can then she is more likely to settle straight in and not think anything of it. 

I know it's difficult when you're dealing with other people, as they don't always think the same as you.  We have certain members of the family who just make the situation worse   But just talk to the guest beforehand and be firm in what you're telling them.  If they start waving things round in her face and grabbing at her ears, just tel them to stop it and carry on as normal.  I def don't have any problems telling guests not to do certain things with the dogs, esp when it is making them more hyper/fearful etc

Good luck and just relax