Dreading family coming to visit this week - Honey's reaction (what happened)

[biscuit]

I agree with everything thats being said about dogs picking up on owners being stressed.  My vet told me I was a nervous/stressed person the last time I saw him, and he thought that was why I had a nervous dog (must add its the only time I have believed what hes said ! - but thats another story).  We have to do the exact same, tell all visitors to ignore our dog, and relax ourselves.  Last time in this situation, we had a brilliant family gathering and the pooch spent the time dozing in various areas of the house being totally ignored and loved every minute of it. 

[kb]

So family have been and gone - now the post mortem of how she behaved

Well we warned them - but they didn't all listen!

So they came in and Honey true to form barked.

They all sat down and Honey took centre stage in the middle of the room barking and barking. They tried to pacify her but thisonly escalated things, so I asked her to ignore them. I had a few treats in my pocket so I was able to distract her and bring her a sit and a quiet (we use a hand signal for quiet) - ofcourse she can read this when I have a treat in my hand but don't ask her to do it without one.

They gave the girls some pressies with wrapping paper, which distracted her for a bit. When she had quietened she went over to sniff some of them, but as soon as they tried to interact with her off she went again.She was also intermittently coming to me for reassurance and I wasn't quite sure what to do when she did that. We put her out the back with a chew for a while, but she wasn't having any of it. She nealry bakred the street down to get back in.

Then we had to eat and she did settle.

She lay at the foot of our eldest niece - she adores animals - she has worked for various vets in a voluntary capacity and has just returned from Zimbabwe where she was working on a game reserve with lion cubs and other things - I think they were probably easier than Honey
he is going to Bristol Uni to do a 4 yr course in vet. nursing and administration - this will allow her to open her own practice apparently. She always wanted to be a vet, but I think working at vets surgeries, preferred a different side of things.

However when my niece moved or tried to interact with her she gave a low throaty growl - not the frenzied bark, just a low growl that was barely audible. She got right down to her and stoked her and chatted with her and she tolerated it - but she never took her eyes off her and still gave this growl - but it never escalated. A couple of times she jumped up on my BIL, but as soon as he spoke to her she started again. He decided to ignore her and walked away, but as soon as he moved she ran off really frghtened. My SIL told her off and said thats enough, but that made her bark more - the other 2 just ignored her and she ignored them.

To top this fine display all off - she went into the kitchen when we had cleared the food away and somehow or other procured herself pizza from the table.

Then when they were going she said goodbye by barking and barking.

After they had gone she got on to the dining table and stole the leftover doughnuts we had been using with the chococlate fountain Thankfully we had already removed the chocolate fountain. I don't think cocker ears and melted chocolate would go well together

[Penel]

the other 2 just ignored her and she ignored them.

hmm shame the others didn't listen to you.
Honey sounds like a very nervy dog at the moment kb, I think she's having a tough time coping with life in general.  I can't remember if she still has a crate up in the house or not, if she doesn't maybe you should consider putting one back up again, and enforcing time out for some periods of rest during the day.  Your niece getting down on the floor with Honey really won't have helped esp if Honey was growling at her - don't people realise a growl is a warning sign, esp in those kind of circumstances ?  They shouldn't have even looked at her, let alone spoken to her or tried to touch her.

Do you take her out and about a lot - around lots of people ?  I think you have to go back to puppy socialising, with people - walk her around town, take her to places that let you bring dogs.  I know it's hard wtih your family situation but I really think Honey needs some extra work with her people skills.

[kb]

I think so too Penel - I suppose you get into a cycle of her not behaving well, so you don't take her places and so on.

She doesn't have a crate - she had a pen as a pup, but learnt to esape over the top of it when she got bigger. I have considered buying a soft crate for her, that we could take to mums and so on. But I am not sure how to reintroduce it, at this stage.

She doesn't get out with other people much because I suppose I worry about taking her out, because i am afraid of her biting - and i think her "aggression" is nervousness. This is a house where stress is generally at a high level and I am sure that affects her.

I have spoken to "trainers" but they are not behaviourists - it is very hard to find people who know what they are doing here - and I am a bit lost as to what to do to make her happier and more relaxed.

It's actually getting me down at the moment because I think she is maybe not very happy.

[cdpops]

Hello
I am sorry to hear that some of your fears came to be. But it sounded like Honey was very anxious with all these people. I think as Penel said a crate or a room where Honey can have some space sounds like it would help.
I am sure that she is happy just needing a bit of socialisation at the moment, you do a great managing with her and your two children, I struggle with just the dog!
Don't get dispondent, look at the positive side of things despite provocation she didn't bite!

[Cob-Web]

Well we warned them - but they didn't all listen!

So the problem wasn't Honey then, it was your "guests", who are unable to do as they are asked 

Seriously, if you want to retrain Honey, then you will need to find some more obedient visitors - how very dare your visitors hijack your training programme when you had made it clear how important it was 

If you can, find some dog-savvy people (maybe a more sympathetic trainee vet nurse?) - explain that you are training your dog to behave appropriately towards visitors, and then ask her to visit your home 
Pamela Dennison explains the technique in this article on her website

Difficult though it may be to "fit in" this kind of high intensity training into your already busy and demanding life, I do think that in the long run, it will make your life so much less stressful and prevent the problems escalating to a point where they become unmanageable 

[kb]

Thanks Rachel  - I will give it a go. I have seen you talk about her book - is it good?

[Cob-Web]

Thanks Rachel  - I will give it a go. I have seen you talk about her book - is it good?

Superb - I still refer to it regularly, so it is very well thumbed  It helps me to go back to it if I have let things slip, or if there is something specific that is really getting my goat 

[Jan/Billy]

Seriously, if you want to retrain Honey, then you will need to find some more obedient visitors - how very dare your visitors hijack your training programme when you had made it clear how important it was 

I HATE it when people ignore you, really gets on my nerves. It's like they are saying they know more about your dog than you do 

I am VERY firm with my visitors now, although to be honest they are few and far between these days 

[kb]

Jan I was hoping you might post, because I know you have similar problems with Billy - attimes Honey is so lovely I hate it that everyone thinks she is such a handful.

I wish she could just be nice - she can be very unpredictable - but I know she is nervous.

I wish someone could tell me what to do with her

[Jan/Billy]

Jan I was hoping you might post, because I know you have similar problems with Billy - attimes Honey is so lovely I hate it that everyone thinks she is such a handful.

My family have a low opinion of Billy, and me for "putting up " with him. I'd be lying if i said it doesn't bother me, it does, because i feel sorry for Billy, people don't realise that deep down he is an amasing dog   .

WE Love our dogs & thats all that matters!  

[Emmylou]

I know it was difficult, but the more Honey sees people in the house and visitors come round the more she will get used to it.  She sounds very similar to Cosby in this respect.  He shows the same signs when people come round.  However 3 years down the line and many visitors later he is much better.  Still barks and goes nuts with certain people, but settles much quicker. 

Despite it being difficult and sometimes embarrassing, we have never stopped people visiting becasue of Cosby's behaviour.  We have people staying at our house on a regular basis and if we persevere with the ignoring him technique, he does settle.  So rather than avoid it, try and get people to come round as much as possible, even if just for a few minutes.  Hopefully she will get better.