i know how you feel when i lost Badger I was inconsolable for weeks, and to this day i couldn't have another black and white dog i would be frightened of making comparisons. His picture still takes pride of place in my conservatory.
However do not EVEN FOR ONE MINUTE think that any of this is your fault, you found a puppy and fell in love that in my book isn't a crime. I know from the bottom of my heart that no one would of gone to the lengths that you have to try to help her. Try to remember all the love and happiness she had in her short life, which she probabaly wouldn't of got anywhere else and look forward to when you see her again because ALL dogs go to heaven. You had best be a good girl and make sure you go there too.