Afraid of Hubby : (

[Aisling]

Hi Guys,

We adopted Charlie, ex breeding male, 5 years old about 5 months ago. Charlie is a lovely little red cocker, timid, nervous of new situations / people and very afraid of my hubby.

I work from home so spend the day with him and my other cocker Tilly, 10. Charlie is a gent with me but as soon as my OH comes in from work he’s barking and growling. When we sit in the living room, Charlie takes ages to settle, if my husband speaks he’ll get out of his bed to scamper, barking at him and grumbling. We’ve tried things like my OH feeding him tasty treats, Charlie will tentatively approach, take the treat and scarper. It’s gotten to the point where my OH is sick of making an effort now and I don’t know how to motivate either of them. Their relationship has never improved since Charlie arrived.

Does anyone here have any tips on settling their ex puppy farm / breeder. I just want everyone to get along but mostly I’d like to help Charlie understand that nobody is going to harm him here. It’s such a pity for him that he can’t relax around my OH!

[elaine.e]

Hi Aisling and welcome to COL

That's a very sad situation for you all. It's always difficult to give behavioural advice online because none of us reading this is in your exact situation, although you've given a very clear description. Did you adopt Charlie from a rescue centre or charity? If so, can they provide any help? If not, would you consider getting a behaviourist to come to your house and see you all together to assess the situation and hopefully provide you with a way forward?

If you opt for a behaviourist please look for one that is qualified and uses kind, modern methods and avoid any whose websites or Facebook pages talk of dominance.

[Aisling]

Hi There, that’s a good suggestion. I already reached out to a good behaviourist before Xmas but with the break I have put it off to the new year. I’ll get on top of it again in January!

I suppose I’m really just looking for someone to tell me that it’ll all settle down at some stage. I love Charlie to pieces but sometimes his fear is just so irrational that I wonder if he’ll ever be able to relax around my OH.    Has anyone gotten a behaviourist involved in a situation like this before and has it worked out? I think I’m hoping someone with an ex-breeder will share their story so I have some sort of idea about the journey! I’m worried that he’s had 5 years in an awful situation and that even Charlie can’t believe it’s going to be different here! 

[ejp]

We had an ex-breeder from Many Tears, and she was fearful of men.  We can only assume the puppy farmer was male.  She was always a little nervous around my husband, and that remained to some extent.  We realised that if he had his work shoes on, (steel toecaps) he was heavier footed and that scared her.  Time was the biggest thing that let her find her own way in the house.  It also depends on the individual dog.  Does Charlie have other dogs in the house? 

[Top Barks]

There are lots of things you can do to help but as already suggested I would recommend a visit from a suitably qualified behaviour adviser.