Why do I feel so bad?

[allym]

Henry is 10mths old now and has never really been any problem.  OH and I are going away for the Bank Hol weekend in a few weeks time and to save taking advantage of my friend Chris, who usually looks after him if we go away, I thought I'd take him to a nice lady nearby who offers home boarding (the dogs live in her house as part of the family).

Anyway, I wanted to check her out and make sure that Heny would be ok, so we arranged a trial day today.  She has just brought him home and said that he was a nightmare!  Seemingly he took a real shine to a little girl Cocker (tho she's been spayed) and he just wouldn't leave her alone all day.  He then started to become aggressive and really growling when any of the other dogs (I think there were 6 in total, including the owner's dog) went near her.  When the owner's Labrador told him off, seemingly Henry just stood his ground and wouldn't give way...

He's always been so good around the house, and he regularly plays with 2 Westies and a Labrador (all boys) who live nearby, and we've never had any problems.  I just can't understand why he's suddenly acting like this...  When she dropped him off and told me all this, I felt like I wanted to cry (stupid, I know) and even as I type, I can feel myself getting upset... She basically said that I should have him castrated now.

I wasn't planning on having him castrated in the foreseeable future as I wanted his personality to fully develop beforehand, and I know that it would change his coat (which my OH thinks is a stupid reason for not wanting to have him done). I did start to show him, but I think we'll do agility instead, so there's no problem there, but I still would have rather waited. 

I now don't know what to do for the best.  Should I consider having him castrated sooner rather than later? I'm also worried about leaving him with this lady for the weekend, but OH will be annoyed if I say we can't go away because of Henry...  I know it's stupid to be upset, but I suppose it has all just been a bit of a surprise.

Sorry for moaning!

[Abby]

Oh Ally, so sorry to hear you've had this experience. I definitely think that there is no need to rush to get gorgeous Henry castrated - far too soon and this is just one incident. Maybe he jsut got a bit carried away - very possible if he's not been in much contact (a day is a long time, different to a walk) with girlies.

As you say, he's only ten months, and he's probably still learning about being a grown-up cocker instead of a baby. I wouldn't worry, though I know that's easy to say! 

Kev & I (and Clive of course!) would be very happy to have Henry for that weekend if you didn't want to leave him with the boarding lady - in fact we'd be very excited about it  

[Mollie.Ladie]

Oh that must have been horrible for you to hear.  I believe theres no rush to get him castrated either.  I also agree that since hes been a bit more socialized with other males, he was just a little overwhelmed by the fact that he was with so many girls.  As far as him staying in the kennel, I think that he should get better with time, but if you dont feel comfortable, maybe you should take up Abby's offer

[Ben's mum]

Don't forget Henry is your baby and you know what is right for him and for you - don't listen to what someone who has just met him once.  We had Ben castrated at six months - on the advice of a doggy 'expert' who said it was needed because of his personality and dominance.  I wish I had known about cockersonline then, I might have made a different decisian.  If you have him castrated then it should be when you think he is ready.

Henry might also have been behaving differently because of the new territory, personally I would struggle to leave Ben with someone who calls him a nightmare - sorry I don't want to make you feel bad about leaving him with this woman cos I know I have had to leave Ben sometimes when i didn't want to, but it sounds like you have offers of help so won't be stuck.

I think Henry sounds like a delightful cocker boy with a big personality, just how cockers should be   - not a nightmare at all!!!

Bens mum

[Joules]

Personally, I think I would just try to socialise him a bit more with female dogs before you decide.  He may be fine when he gets used to girls.  No need to rush into chopping his bits off! before he and you are ready!    He may have just been trying to make his mark when faced with a big group of other dogs.  Good luck 

[michelle123]

Sorry but I'm with Ben's mum - if somebody had said that my dog was a nightmare & suggested that he had to be castrated before she would look after him I would be turning in the opposite direction 
I would certainly not be going off one persons say so after one incident. 
Hope you get it sorted.

[EmC]

Hi Ally,

Sorry to hear about this.  I agree with what Abby and everyone else has said, no rush to get Henry castrated as he has a lot of maturing left to do.

I am sure that Henry would much rather have a holiday with his pal Clive (plenty of wrestling!) than stay with that lady anyway 

Hope you feel better about this incident soon.

Emma and Jarvis

[CraftySam]

I quite understand why it upset you and I too would have wanted to cry. 

Henry was in a new place, he was with a lot of dogs in a confined space and he didn't know the dogs or the lady.  There's alot of reasons there that could have caused Henry to behave as he did.  Six dogs that he doesn't know in a strange house is alot for him to deal with. Playing and getting along with some dogs in a garden and being in a house with them is totally different for him.

I certainly don't think you should castrate Henry on this lady's say so.  My personal experience of castratation is that having Max done at six month didn't alter his personality one bit.  It didn't stop him humping either.    Ok, he doesn't do it quite as much but it happens numerous times a week.  He is still top dog, despite Barney's attempt to challenge.  So if you were castrating purely for these reasons you must be aware you might not get your desired result.  Humping is quite often a dominence thing, the majority of humping that goes on in our house is between my boys. 

I'm totally with you on the coat issue.    Its the main reason why I don't want to get Barney done. Sapphi is speyed and Max is castrated.  It's something that I would normally do.  But the change in the coat is massive, apparently particularly so with solids, so unless it is totally necessary then I'm not going to have him done.

Unless the lady is going to have alot less dogs when Henry is due to stay I would see if your friend Chris could look after him.  I'm sure you'll benefit from the peace of mind too. 

[debbie321]

Please take your time before making the decision (if at all) - Henry sounds like a dream and was overcome by all these lovely ladies!

Ben is a working cocker and was castrated at 7.5 months for behavioural reasons.  I don't regret it at all, although I had lots of thoughts and doubts at the time.  He still fancies girls in season so that may not stop with Henry.  I do agree with leaving them intact, at least until they are mature, but that wasn't an option with Ben (in my opinion).  Ben's coat started changing about 6 weeks ago (he's now 13+ months).  He has grown back all his 'puppy fluff' on his torso and legs and looks like a teddy bear!  I love the look as he was very short coated being a worker but I know that if he had a show cockers coat I would probably be horrified!

[Penel]

Lots of young male dogs hump when they don't know what else to do - its true - they do !!!!!  so the simple stress of being left at a strange house today could have caused it.
I personally would not leave him with anyone that called him a nightmare.... and don't get him castrated until you are ready to, if you are ever ready to.

[miche]

I think Henry would have a great Bank Holiday weekend with Clive, in actual fact it did surprise me to hear that Henry got so excited over the ladies - I thought he only had eyes for Clive

Just a reminder

[Joules]

Ooooerrr - you should have put an X certificate on that pic Miche.    I had to avert my eyes.  That was after I had a good look to see which way up they were!!!! 

[perrystell]

I can't believe the lady you left him with wasn't a little more understanding of the situation and quickly decided to label him a nightmare! Would we consider chopping the bits off teenage boys just coz they were feeling hormonal?! I'd say he was behaving quite naturally given the situation, my boys started getting hormonal and a bit bossy with my other boy dog after recently being in contact with a girly in heat but I would never in a million years have him 'done' for this reason, its totally normal and he'll get used to behaving himself around the ladies in time,please don't let this woman upset you, I'd have gotten quite annoyed with her myself! >:(rant over 

[Joules]

Would we consider chopping the bits off teenage boys just coz they were feeling hormonal?!

No, but it might be an idea!! 

[allym]

Thanks everyone!

I've decided not to use that lady again, and will make alternative arrangements for my lovely Henry!  Abby - I think you may well have a visitor for the Bank Hol weekend!! 

I've also decided not to rush into a decisions about his 'bits'.  If I did have have him done now, I'd always wonder if it was just a teenage phase that he would have grown out of naturally...

Thank you all again!  It's so nice to have people who understand - awwww!