Why is she doing this?

[Kat]

Bonnie is a blue roan rescue cocker, abandoned by an illegal puppy farm when her medical problems outweighed her profiting the farm    We have had her since April 2002 and have had numerous medical and behavioural problems with her which over the months have improved considerably, the behavioural problems are mainly in connection with my hubby.  She is adorable, very slightly nervous, but not agressive.  She is not afraid of new people or men.

The one thing that we have not been able to cure is her reluctance to "enjoy" herself when out for walks with hubby - on his own, or on a one to one with hubby at work or at home unless I am with her or someone else.  It has been suggested that on a one to one, she finds it too intense.

It manifests itself in not eating/drinking, head slightly down and tail pointing southwards.  Bonnie is so well behaved and will do what ever he asks but never happily.  Its distressing for all and we were hoping that someone may be able to advice me on what we can do.

We have been receiving help from a behaviourist but alas she has moved to Spain, but from her advice we are now coming to the end of a 6 week session where I have not done anything with Bonnie, including eye contact, feeding, walking etc.  This has worked tremendously on all her other problems except for this one big problem  It may not sound much, but it is when she starves herself for two days and is then sick!    She can go all day until I return from work and THEN she will drink/eat.  

We normally (when not doing the "ignoring bit") "share" Bonnie during working days, both of us luckily being able to take her to work with us.  She is fine with me and with customers.  The only time Bonnie comes out of her "shell" when with hubby is if when there are other people around, even strangers.

We would really like to cure this problem because she is obviously distressed, but we're not sure how to go about it.

Any suggestions would be so helpful.  Bonnie has gone through so much in her 4 years of life and has so much to give.                    

[Anita]

Kat

So sorry to hear your having this problem. Bonnie sounds as though she is a lovely dog despite her bad start in life. I hope someone from the group can give you some help.

Please let us know how she gets on                    

[Christine]

Hi Kat!  Have you tried distancing yourself from her and letting hubby take over a bit, let him play with her and give her treats so she can learn to trust him.  It sounds as if she relys on you being there and maybe you need to get hubby to gain her trust.  

Dont know how useful this will be, but its worth a try.  Keep us informed                    

[Mike]

I think the behaviourist (before she moved away) suggested something like that, and for Kat's husband to take over the upbringing of the dog while Kat takes a background role.

Whereas I can see that this might work, and as such is worth a go, I also think that it could easily have the opposite effect - if a dog is already anxious and insecure, then removing the source of security (Kat) doesnt necessarily mean that the dog will improve, but could become ever more anxious. It's a tricky one.

I think if I were you Kat - and of course I'm no expert and other might have more tangible techniques for you to try out - I wouldnt take a back seat altoghether, but try and involve your husband as much as possible and teach the dog to make possitive associations with him. If there is an improvement, then I would say that it's time for the dog to start spending quality alone time with your husband. I also think that this isn't likely to be a quick fix, but an improvement that will develop gradually over time.

I hope this helps a little                      

[Jane S]

I'm inclined to agree with Mike that distancing yourself from Bonnie too much could have a negative effect on a nervous, insecure Cocker like this. I have taken in a Cocker dog who we think had been beaten by the previous owner's boy friend & was consequently very unhappy around men, specially young men who physically resembled the violent boyfriend. We eventually rehomed him with a single man (my Uncle) where he lived a long & happy life. We were lucky that this dog was still a puppy when he came back - young enough to bounce back after a bad start. With Bonnie being so much older, you may have to accept that she may be permanently damaged by her past experiences & that there is now only so much you can do to change her. The fact she has improved in many ways is good but further progress may be very slow indeed if at all. I don't mean this to sound negative but just know that some dogs will always bear the mental scars of past bad experiences. My own approach would be for Kat's husband to take more of a back seat ie not to force Bonnie to have to interact with him if she is not happy doing this. This may be hard on your husband who understandably wants to share in caring for Bonnie but in the long run, it may mean that she learns to accept him because he is just there as part of her life ie she accepts him on her own terms rather than having to interact with him because she has to. This is the approach I have taken with some nervous dogs in the past but that's not to say it will work for Bonnie - just my personal opinion really                    

[Inca]

My previous dog, Gizzy, Who unfortunately passed away last October, was also a rescue dog. He came to me at the age of three and had many problems, not just physical but also phsycological. He had no fur, his joints came out of place and he had no muscle tone. Gizzy was also very aggressive towards men (especially ones with sticks, umberellas etc.) It took about 18mnths to 2yrs before he felt comfortable with men. During that time we let him take things at his own pace and never forced him to accept anything he wasn't comfortable with. This payed off and he eventually came to accept men and loved to play with my partner. Gizzy lived with me for 9yrs however during the last 6mnths of his life he once again started to snap not just at men but at anyone.                    

[Kat]

Thanks for all your suggestions.  As it is the last week of the "ignoring "stage  I am slowly integrating myself back with hubby and Bonnie, so to speak.  There has been so much of an improvement with her over the last 5 weeks that this last problem probably, as you mentioned, is one that may sort itself out or not at all.

Of all the problems its so good to see the improvements

Bonnie is quite happy to approach hubby when she wants to and that is a definite improvement!  Him grooming her has certainly helped on the one to one.  She will also jump up for a stroke if he asks her "whats the problem?" .......and all the little things that we would normally take for granted with any other dog are slowly coming on too.

As I am now taking more of a part in her life again now I will just have to wait and see what will happen I guess as you have suggested, but I will keep you all posted.                      

[Gilly]

I've been reading this thread with interest...and have to say I admire you Kat I actually think it must be alot harder to own a rescue dog...with little information about it's physical and mental health......
It sounds to me like you have made great progress in less than a year......keep going I'm sure you'll get there
Keep us informed on your progress with Bonnie.

Gilly                    

[Pammy]

Good luck with Bonnie Kat - you've obvioulsy come a long way on what is still a long journey. I agree with what has been said about bringing yourself back into Bonnie's life a bit more.

I would continue to involve hubby where you can but make it a threesome rather than one to one. Let her see from you that it's OK and that you are relaxed and hopefully she'll eventually pick up on that.

I would try you getting her food ready then passing it to hubby for him to give to her, then for him to prepare and pass to you etc. Alternate it so she see's you both feed her.

For toys - go gently. Try and find a toy she really likes and have that as a special treat that only your hubby brings out - but that you all then play with.

You'll have to be guided by Bonnie with lots of gentle encouragement when things go well rather than "giddy" praise if you know what I mean. She might just like a gentle stroke from your hubby rather than perhaps rubs and pats.

It may just be that she has come almost as far as she's going to. My hubby has to accept that he is a very low second when it comes to me   - but the boys are happy with him and go mad when he comes home etc - it's not like with Bonnie, but it is not unusual for a dog to bond better with one person.

Do keep us posted - she sounds a lovely girl now she has a lovely home.

hth                    

[Kat]

I did know a little about Bonnie's ill heath when I got her.  She was referred to a specialist vets in Manchester for 2 bowel hernias and had all her internal reproduction organs, womb and connecting pipes (being polite here  ) removed.  The vets comment was that from what he could guess she had had so many litters that all her internals were stretched and baggy, her urine pooling back into her womb, slowly eroding it.....  Plus a heart murmur! Also no upper central teeth and one of the fangs twisted and one of her lower jaw fangs missing.  They thing because she chewed the bars of her cage.  The only time now you hear her bark is when she is in the vets and is caged.

She IS a remarkable little dog and every day she makes us laugh with one antic or another.  She's not what most people will call a stunning cocker spaniel but we love her to bits.

When I can get a photo up here I will post it.....

You can tell we're very proud of her                      

[Mike]

It's terrible what some people will put an animal through, absolutely heart breaking.

Thank heavens there are people like you Kat, who take on rescued cockers and give them the love they deserve.

 

I think we'd all love to see a photo now of such a special little dog.