Hi Folks,
It's my first post on the board, and I'm really happy to have found a home for all things Cocker. I also really hope you can help me...
I started working with dogs a few years ago, and started taking holiday care of a young Cocker in 2015 who was just six months old when he first came to me. We shall call him Flumps. He'd come to the area with his owners when he was just four months old, so had already undergone one move. During the next year or so, his owners bought another dog (a very biddable and lovely young black Lab), went on holiday four times, employed a decorator who Flumps took a strong dislike to, not helped when said decorator threw him across a room one day in response to Flump's continued barking, and he generally had a very unsettled time. I know some dogs are more emotionally robust than others, and Flumps, unfortunately, is a very sensitive and reactive dog who probably endured a bit too much when a bit too young. A year or so after coming to me, his owner fell very ill and so he moved in with me semi-permanently. During this time, his owners also bought three cats - Flumps hates cats - and in effect, made it very difficult for Flumps to ever return home. So now, although not legally mine, Flumps lives with me and I take care of him - vet bills, food bills, everything. But I am troubled by his behaviour and am seeking some support.
It's not his fault, of course; it's mine. Train the owner and cure the dog. But we're far too attached. He's cartoon cute and I fell in love with him the day I first met him. And having felt terribly sorry for him, we're now ridiculously over-bonded to the extent that I can't book a holiday because he just wouldn't manage without me. A side issue is that he's still intact, as he approaches four, as his 'owners' won't permit me to have him neutered. Hey ho.
So, a few examples -
1 - he loves playing with his ball but will only fetch a ball thrown by me. If he does choose to fetch a ball chosen by someone else, he will trot straight past them and return it to me. Mostly, he'll just look at the ball, then look at me, and do nothing.
2 - he stayed with my mum for one night; howled the house down and scraped at the door
3 - I have an old friend living with me (a man) and there is much dislike between the pair of them. Flumps has growled at him when he approaches, and normally he'll grudgingly heed this, but a couple of times, when drunk, but he's carried on approaching him and then tore strips off me when Flumps nipped him. I did point out that a growl is a warning and he should've backed off, but I still concede that there is a problem and no dog should bite. I do not know, however, that he's not had a similar negative experience with my lodger as he did with my decorator.
4 - he was crated at first, and it worked, but he's started howling every morning at 6am and I've had complaints from neighbours. I've since started him sleeping upstairs with me. Not ideal at all, but I'm reliant on the goodwill of my neighbours to do the work I do (and love), so at the moment, that's the situation.
5 - if I'm upstairs, or in a room he can't get to, he can whine and howl. Oddly, though, when I'm out of the house and he knows I'm not around, he'll just sleep on the sofa quietly, so his separation anxiety is not something which follows me out of the door.
With me, and people he likes, he's adorable. He is adorable full stop, really, and I know that he has just reacted to my love for him, but I know that for me to be happy away from him - when I need to be - and for him to feel more confident, I need to change the way things are. He's largely okay with women - not fond of men (which I think goes back to the decorator). My lodger has described him to me, when I'm out of the house, as being 'on standby.' Sighs, sleeps, can't be motivated to do anything. The second I get back, he's up on his back legs, chubby cartoon paws on my shoulders, licking my face. He's got great recall and is relaxed in situations that I wouldn't expect him to be; we've travelled on the train and buses, and he just sits on my lap quietly.
In the house, there are very few boundaries, which I know needs changing. He can get on the sofa, sometimes climbs onto my chest and licks my face, can jump up at the worktops in the kitchen when he knows there are treats, bark at the window when the postman comes, and jumps on my bed. Mistakenly, I've let him do these things so he feels that he has the freedom to do this but I know, deep down, that boundaries would be better for him; the onus is on me to change things consistently.
I understand that Cockers can be Velcro dogs and I'm glad that he trusts and loves me as much as he does, but I want him to widen that confidence and be better 'equipped.' I've been looking at various methods, whether it's Cesar Milan or NILIF or Jan Fennell, but would love to know the opinions of other owners and those who are well-experienced with Cockers, so I can get Flumps to the point where he's happy(ish) without me so he's not under undue stress.
Thanks ever so
GoldGirl