Male v Female - experiences/thoughts please

[Geordietyke]

Hi all.  I've not really posted much on here over the past 4 months for obvious reasons.  Up until the last few days, I've been adamant about not being able to cope with another cocker puppy, having lost 2 youngsters in as many years 

Even though I've had such tough, unfortunate and sad experiences in one way or another with our furry friends, I'm really feeling a cocker shaped gap in my life.  I am however very conscious and wary about bringing another one into our lives, mainly due to my poor daughter's injuries from Archie    I realise now of course that nothing would have stopped how he reacted with her and it was just plain bad luck on my behalf.  Daughter (who is 12) is OK about getting another dog, to her credit, she has not been mentally scarred by the incidents (although she is after a pug which is not OK by me!!).

Anyway, my first tentative steps are to get some feedback on female cockers, having only had 2 males.  I felt that Archie was absolutely and firmly obsessed with me (as cockers generally are) but he took it to dangerous levels with eventually guarding me, even from a long distance away.  Odie, even though besotted with me, would settle of an evening with my hubby when I went to bed.  The toilet training (very sore point  ) was long with both of them (6 months Odie, 15 months+ Archie), the recall training was semi-successful with Odie and zero with Archie, despite months and months of intensive work, both from day 1 and 6 months before he died.

So what I want to hear is your experiences/ease for toilet training/recall/obsessive guarding in females v males.

I realise of course that all cockers are different but I just want as much feedback as possible.  Regarding colour - absolutely am not considering a solid this time round.... 

Many thanks for reading my (long-winded) post!  Lesley

[MacTavish Boys]

I have no advice, as i have only had boy dogs, i just wanted to say, that i glad, that you are thinking of another cocker and you have the blessing of your daughter, even if she is after a pug I am sure, that you will get excellent advice from other COL folk as usual, wishing you all the very best, i shall look forward to any updates
Stephanie, George and Hamish xxx

[bizzylizzy]

Hi Lesley,
its so good to hear your daughter's good with it, - so often a nasty experience can put kids off for life. My neice's daughter had an inexplainable terror of anything with fur on (yes, including fluffy bunnies!) so they bought a red WC (ironically called Archie!) to cure it and  have never looked back. I think you were just really unlucky with your little Archie.
I don't think I've had Humphrey long enough to be qualified to give you advice, I've always had male dogs anyway, so it wouldn't be fair and there are lots of other COL'ers on here that know their stuff much better.
Just wanted to wish you the best of luck though, I think its great that you're ready to go for it again. Nothing you did with Archie was anything to do with how he reacted but nevertheless the experienced you gained can only make it dealing with the next one easier.
Do keep us posted!

[AlanT]

My Archie is a soild gold, blue-roan cross.

He was bred in a domestic situation which allowed you to meet both parents.
He was chosen based on the calm, easy nature of the parents.
He was the smallest, runty little pup in a litter of nine.

Here he is at about 12 weeks, shortly after we got him:



He needed minimal toilet training. Took about a week.
Apart from guarding my wife a bit, he is very easy to look after.
He can be left alone, likes the postmen, can take or leave other dogs.

Here he is at 2-years:

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He is still an entire male and will probably stay that way.

In a few weeks time he must cope with new baby about. I'll let you know how this goes.

[Murphys Law]

I really feel for you for what you have been through in the last few years and I think that it is great that you are considering another cocker. Life is not the same without them in our lives.

Millie (6 month old wcs) is my first bitch and I have noticed some differences between her and Murphy. The main difference is that she wants to be centre of attention all the time. If I want to play with Murphy, Millie has to get in on the act whereas murphy is content to watch.

She has no guarding issues at all. Murphy can be a little bit of a guarder but very vert rarely and I can take anything off him (apart from a dead squirrel )

All my male dogs have been very quick to toilet train, Millie is just getting the hang of it now.

Sorry it all a bit vague and I'm sure many on here have far more experiences of the differences between sexes. But I have found Millie to be soooo much easier to live with than Murphy was at the same age. She is a pleasure and Murphy was a little  at 6 months.

[8 Hairy Feet]

Hi Lesley good to see you back!
I vote a blue roan and tan girl .... cannot think
why lol.
Seriously though, we have had both girls and boys,
if I were to choose I would say a girl....it's not something
that I could even say why?
steffxxx

[Geordietyke]

Thank you everyone!  I have missed being on here but I have been keeping up to date as much as possible with your lovely furbabies 

If I do get another, I am going to be a lot firmer - no sleeping in the bedroom (not that it was a problem but may have contributed to him being more obsessed with me), no sofa at all (but may let them when older but only when invited up), my daughters to do the feeding from day 1, not me, persevere with crate (hopefully with not the same results as before - mess  every time I left them alone), teach them to go to their bed when someone at the door (admittedly I never did this with either of them  ).

I've always loved the tri-colours but I found them impossible to locate in the past but would be more than happy with a blue roan and tan    or blue roan.  I only went for boys in the past because other family members had boys so thought it was easier but I'd like experience of a girl this time round.

[Markr64]

Hi Lesley

Is it really 4 months? It is great that you are now able to look to the future and I am pleased that the daughter is not scared mentally by the problem you had. As for the Pug, Dexter has a little play mate called Arnold and he is just adorable to be honest. I have had other breeds bitches in the past and have never had a problem and always found them to be very loving.

I wish you all the luck with whatever way you go and it is just nice to have you back.

[Jane57]

Nice to see you back Lesley, so glad your daughter is ok and I agree with you about the pug , cute as they are they are just NOT cockers are they lol.

Ive only ever had Riley, blue roan . Got him at 9 weeks , he was toilet trained really quick, did the crate thing and did get up in the night for the first month or so. Think that made it easier to be honest.
He only ever had one poop in the house , that was the first week home when I missed it by seconds lol.
He stopped sleeping in his crate at 6 months and has slept upstairs with us ever since, no problems, sleeps from 9.30-nearly 7am most days.

I think you have been so unlucky, I know you are looking at changing things, i.e. not on the settee and not in your bed, fed by your daughter etc, so I know you are trying so hard like you did with Archie to get things right.
I think no matter what you did / do then things sometimes are just going to be that way. You did brilliant .

I vote this time a particolour, don't be put off boys, as I say Riley loves both of us the same, isn't possesive .

Recall we started from day 1, literally did do that the first day he was home haha.
He was fab until hormones kicked in at about 2 years old, then really affected by bitch scents, we live in a huge populated area with lots of dogs (your home town)
We got him neutered at 3 years and the difference is unbelievable, he is so not interested now, he goes a little bit away has a sniff but keeps his eye on us and comes right back, he is so focused on us and his ball , never been on  a scent trail since the day we had him neutered. Thats made life\walks so much more fun and less stressed.

Will look forward to following your updates.

[Geordietyke]

Thanks Mark and Jane 

It is partly because of the adorable Riley that I'm leaning towards the blue roans    He always looks so lush (I've not lost my Shields words yet Jane  ).  It was hubby who insisted the first time round on a golden and then we were recommended another one, at just the right time after losing Odie but it is definitely time for a change.

I had read somewhere that males tended to be mummy's boys (which is what I've experienced) and girls were less so.....

I spent over 5 hours a day outside with Archie (in 10/15 min bursts) for most of his life and even up to him going (aged nearly 2.5 years), he'd still toilet in the house for no reason.  I know I do everything right (thanks to the advice of COL) but it's certainly one of the dreaded parts of puppydom for me 

[PennyB]

Guarding if it happens can appear in any dog - either any breed or male or female (I have seen the worst in cocker bitches and males just as I  have seen it in other breeds) so there is no answer really as often its also down to how the dog is dealt with once they're in the home and training and how well the dog responds to it. The same goes for recall and toilet training. also as cockers are the most people oriented then they will be more likely to attach themselves to their owners but also sometimes some owners perpetuate overattachment as well in some - so may be not a cocker at all if that's what is worrying you.

One thing is a must, which I always try to adhere to is Jean Donaldson ideas of training as is they already have the problem (in this case she meant rescue dogs but it can still apply to puppies) - meaning be proactive rather than waiting for something to happen and then try to train it out of them as it can then be much harder (particularly if an owner has missed the early signs). Any training though should be short and sweet rather than long and obsessive

[tenaille]

Watching this thread with interest about the male/female differences, so glad you and your daughter also feel ready to take the plunge again.

[MIN]

our first dog was a male. He was the bees knees. All the rest have been female. Think the ladies are a bit sharper, keener . More on the ball

[Geordietyke]

  Good one!!

[Finvarra]

So glad you feel able to have another dog after everything, and your daughter too. I have had five female scotties all at the same time, though staggered, and three male cockers, all blue roan. I had no guarding issues with the scotties, they all got on well together under the firm paw of the top bitch. They took an age to toilet rain, around six months.

We got Milo when we had the last Scottie. He was a gentle boy, no guarding issues, good recall, the perfect dog. Finn the rescue you know about, he was five months when we got him, having bitten the child in the family. He guarded my husbands shoes, the sofa, his toys. We have no children,so we were able to manage him. Now we have Dylan who is eight months, so far no guarding issues, happy soul. All the cockers were quick to toilet train, all clean within a month.

I think you were unlucky with Archie, he was damaged In some way like our Finn. Speaking personally it makes no difference to me whether we had a boy or girl as long as the temperament is OK. That is the main thing to research, that the parents re OK. I know you can,t compare scotties and cockers, scotties are feisty wee things, but all our dogs except Finn were fine.

Good luck and I hope you find a lovely natured dog to make your home a happy one again.

Lesley and Dylan