Working Mums

[flyingspaniel]

Hi,

I'm looking for some practical advice and am sure you will all have an opinion on this one!

I currently have a lovely 4 year old cocker bitch who I do agility with and generally love training, I'm completely hooked and would love another dog but my husband and I both work full time, oh dear... Abby currently stays at home on her own all day with treats, bones and the radio to keep her occupied, she is quite happy in her routine and spends most of the day watching the world go by from the kitchen window.
What I want to know is whether a new dog would settle with her or should I consider taking it to work with me and setting up a den in the car with a view to visiting the dog throughout the day - I know people do this but wonder how it works in practice, what about the heat and the cold? Would this work best with a puppy?
Or should I look for someone to come in during the day, or maybe try to find a doggy creche, or retire at the tender age of 30?

Help!!!   

[joanne_v]

To be honest I'd say that you should definitely not get another dog if you work fulltime. Its just not fair in my eyes. You are very lucky if your current dog is happy at being left so long. Most would not be... Keeping them home alone or in the car or even someone popping in once a day is not enough to me, especially so if its a puppy. No rescue or reputable breeder would let you have a dog in these circumstances either. Sorry to be negative but I think most people will agree. If you could afford a dog daycare for both dogs then that might work but it depends on your financial situation.

[vikki.k]

My husband is lucky enough to work from home, but when he travels (as he is now) we use the local kennel as day care for Baja. He loves it and it means I can drop him off before work and collect him on the way home. I would recommend this, but would also ask how old was Abbey before you could leave her for a whole day, we tend to leave him for 4 hours max, but i do often wonder could he manage half a day by himself.
From my experience the kennel is happy enough to do a day as they charge us the same money (£8 per day) and dont have to worry about him over night.

[Jan/Billy]

Unless you can afford a dog walker to pop in during the day then I'd say no. It's to risky. Your current dog is ok with your arrangements but the chances of dog number two being as happy are quite slim, plus reputable breeders & rescue centres wouldn't allow you to have one of their dogs under such circumstances 


Exactly how many hours per day is your current cocker alone? Have you looked into dog walkers?

Lots of people work full time and manage very well. Not everyone can afford dog day care but i think all day alone is a little too much, a break in between would be much better.

Billy is alone all day four days a week from 8.30 until 3.15 but OH does come home for an hour in between. If he couldn't manage that then I'd have to pay a dog walker to pop in. Day care 5 days per week  is too expensive .

In an ideal world...

[flyingspaniel]

Thanks, that's given me some food for thought, I'm not happy leaving Abby all day but my OH works varying hours and has a day off in the week so it's not all bad. My dog has a very active lifestyle, she gets 2 good walks a day and training at least twice a week, she does not have to compete with other family members for my time.

I really would like to hear from other people in this situation though as I'm sure many people have ended up having to work more hours than they would wish to leave their dog for and must be able to offer some advice / support. It just seems such a shame to me that those of us with the energy are deemed 'unsuitable' dog owners, yet when we retire (but before we get too old) we could be allowed a dog. Does no-one else think this?

Off to look up day care now ...

[Helen]

Although I see your point, I don't agree that energy makes up for being left alone for hours on end.

I remember reading somewhere that (however they measured this I don't know, maybe with stress levels) dogs prefer companionship (human) to exercise.

I think day care is a good option 

[CarolineL]

I am in a similar position to you. I have Hurley who is left some days all day, usually from 8 til 4.30. mine and my OHs working times changed about a year into us having him and we had no choice.

Luckily my OH works from home a few days a week (usually about 3) although this can vary from week to week. If we have a week where we think Hurley is going to be left alone for more than a couple of days we do send him to a dogsitter for a day...... it is not ideal but we can't afford to send him to a dogsitter every day of the week.

We are extremely fortunate that Hurley does not seem to mind us not being there. I am sure if he was unhappy or bored or stressed we would know about it - simply through his behaviour - a bit like your Abby.  

I have been hankering after a 2nd dog for a long time, however I really do have to think of the practicalities of it. Firstly, what if they don't get on - there is no-one there to supervise. Secondly, what if the 2nd dog doesnt like being left alone, thirdly - it is double the cost at doggy day care, fourthly what if the second dog teaches the first dog bad habits while you're not there to supervise..... the list goes on?!!? There is absolutely no way I would get a dog and leave it in the car while I was at work, nor would I advocate it, no matter how many times I could pop in and see it. Firstly dogs die in hot cars, dogs get stolen from cars and he would be severely limited in mobility and most likely bored out of his brains.   Its just not fair on the dog.

If your current dog is ok at being left, she is probably in a minority (like Hurley!) and I would be very wary about getting another and risk upsetting the status quo. I am desperate for a second dog, however - I want the dog, and its a bit selfish of me to give a second dog a home, when really I dont need the dog - simply cos my circumstances aren't ideal.  

[BettyBoo]

I remember reading that companionship is just as important as exercise too. I would agree with Helen and go for the daycare option and if you say your current dog is happy as it is then you could just send the new dog. I don't think I would be happy leaving mine all day but I'm quite lucky in that I work flexi and can have a 2-3 hour lunch everyday. Plus if you add up Bank Holidays, Annual Leave, flexi etc then I don't usually put a full week in.
I know lots of people (my sister included) who leave their dogs all day but I personally wouldn't.

[Elmo]

We are quite fortunate as we work for ourselves and take Elmo to work everyday i go (4 days). He has a crate and loads of room to move around and the park is just 2 minutes away so we can go for a play whenever theres spare time. Even i feel guilty when he doesnt get to go to the park some days even though he gets a long run in the morning and play time/ball throwing at night i feel he might get bored.

If we didnt have this situation i wouldnt have a dog, as much as i would want one it wouldnt be fair to leave a dog all day at home. They are social animals and as much as they get used to it over time......its not satisfying their needs i dont think anyway.

I would never leave a dog in a car all day, its bad enough having to leave him when we go shopping. On a hot day as smeone has said they can overheat and dehydrate and i couldnt think of anything more boring than being cooped up in a car all day.

At the end of the day Elmo is my "child" and i wouldnt leave a child in a car all day or at home alone.

 Does Abby have to hold her toilet all day til you get home? how could you toilet train a puppy if nobody was at home all day?

[Hurtwood Dogs]

Although I see your point, I don't agree that energy makes up for being left alone for hours on end.

I remember reading somewhere that (however they measured this I don't know, maybe with stress levels) dogs prefer companionship (human) to exercise.

I think day care is a good option 

Wot she said....

For a while my last cocker did 3 days a week on his own (when I went back to work part time after maternity leave) but he had a good walk before work and I went home every lunch time for an hour to let him out and play with him or do a bit or training... my neighbour was at home all day and she also kept an eye on him and said he just slept when we weren't there so he seemed happy with it - and as I had a baby at that point we were in all evening most evenings. It wasn't ideal though to be honest. If I was you, unless you can afford day care or a dog walker, I wouldn't consider another dog at this point. If you've achieved some kind of balance with your current dog it's very likely a pup or second dog will upset that and you could well end up with two stressed out doglets. I have two dogs now but work from home or take one with me when I'm out (usually no more than 4 hours) and I have a young child so that dictates that I spend a lot of time at home too. It's perfect now but I know they'd have to go to day care if I was working full time - without question.

[Coco]

Hi and welcome to COL.
I'm not a working Mum and fortunately our Wherry goes to work with her Dad everyday anyway but I just wanted to respond.
First of all I agree that there are plenty of people who in reality leave their dog/s at home alone all day and COLers are perhaps not, by the very fact they are on a dog forum, the average dog owners, perhaps people whos dogs play a HUGE part of their lives, more so than the average. I'm not saying we are better or more caring or anything of the sort but that most of us are VERY passionate about our pups and things like doggy days care are normal. In reality, outside of COL I don't think I know anyone who uses walkers or day care. But you've asked, and I doubt, given your situation anyone on here will support the idea of a second dog for you. We're not being mean or ganging up and I think that maybe you've already decided that a second dog is for you so I'd urge you to take the advise on getting someone in to provide extra care and stimulation while you are at work.  Also, if you go ahead, you need to take a good few weeks off work to be with pup as someone said, you have to house train it, get it used to it's environment, supervise two dogs together (I don't think I'd want to be leaving two dogs together until I knew they got along 100% which would take a long time. ) etc etc

I'm sure many people have ended up having to work more hours than they would wish to leave their dog for and must be able to offer some advice / support. It just seems such a shame to me that those of us with the energy are deemed 'unsuitable' dog owners, yet when we retire (but before we get too old) we could be allowed a dog. Does no-one else think this?

I can see your point here but the term 'ended up' sticks out. Circumstances change, people have to work more and I can't tell you the number of adult dogs I've seen for sale due to 'a change in work circumstances' but I think the point is that most wouldn't take on a second dog knowing the circumstances are already in place. Those that have 'ended up' working more have often found the way around it is to get in help.

In an ideal world all our dogs would be with us, have our full attention (I'm trying to find an aid dog bib for Wherry so she can come shopping    ) and that doesn't always happen but God help these people that get three dogs, go out to work all day and wonder why their house is destroyed. It doesn't mater how much energy the owner has if they don't have the time or inclination to direct it towards their dogs. (and I don't mean you but generally)

If you do decide to go ahead anyway please still let us know and please don't consider the car idea, get help in or you will most likely regret it (wee and poo in the house, fighting dogs and vets bills, wrecked house, nervous crying puppy, unhappy Abby etc, possibly one or all of the above) there are always neighbours, family etc if you can't stretch to day care 5 days a week.

[AnnaCatherine]

Hello

My husband and I both work full time and we also have a very happy dog.  Pip is almost a year old and he is at home alone for approximately 3-4 hours at a time.  

We walk him in the morning, and either my husband or I go home at lunchtime to give him a walk and my girls walk him in the afternoon after school.   He has adapted very well and is an incredibly happy dog however as much as I would like to get him a playmate when he is older I don't think this is something that we would do.  When we got Pip, he had our whole attention but I would be concerned that a another pup coming into the family would not only unsettle Pip the new pup would not get the same attention.  Also I have been put off by other friends who have got a 'playmate' for their dog and it hasn't worked out.  

I am grateful that Pip is as happy with us as we are with him and personally I don't want to risk that by adding another dog into the equation (also we have 2 cats so I think we have enough on our hands!!).  

However I completely agree with you that you can offer a dog a happy home, be a responsible owner and work  

AnnaCatherine

[Hurtwood Dogs]

Hello

My husband and I both work full time and we also have a very happy dog.  Pip is almost a year old and he is at home alone for approximately 3-4 hours at a time. 

We walk him in the morning, and either my husband or I go home at lunchtime to give him a walk and my girls walk him in the afternoon after school.   He has adapted very well and is an incredibly happy dog however as much as I would like to get him a playmate when he is older I don't think this is something that we would do.  When we got Pip, he had our whole attention but I would be concerned that a another pup coming into the family would not only unsettle Pip the new pup would not get the same attention.  Also I have been put off by other friends who have got a 'playmate' for their dog and it hasn't worked out. 

I am grateful that Pip is as happy with us as we are with him and personally I don't want to risk that by adding another dog into the equation (also we have 2 cats so I think we have enough on our hands!!). 

However I completely agree with you that you can offer a dog a happy home, be a responsible owner and work 

AnnaCatherine

I think there is a big difference with people who's dogs are at home around short day school hours and those who's dogs are at home around normal office hours - plus with a lunchtime visit, too it's really not too bad a life IMO!

8am-6pm alone all day every day is just far too much in my eyes... some dogs may adapt to it but are likely to be v hyper when they do spend time with owners... and when we all know how social, intelligent and active our cockers are, from the bottom of our hearts.. is it really in their best interests of the dog and are they REALLY going to be happy or is it just something humans want and can do.. so they do?

Hannah x

[CarolineL]

Hannah - my head agrees with you completely but I also think that it is quite possible my OHs working hours will change again in time and it is also quite possible that Hurley could be left at home alone on a day to day basis probably from 8 til 4.30, although I would end up sending him to daycare. I can't be the only dog owner who would have this dilemma - if our circumstances changed - should I rehome him because we don't have the ideal set up or hope that he deals with it ok? He has access to the garden so is not expected to hold himself all day long and I have to weigh up the risk of him being dognapped against his comfort (his comfort won!).

However I think it is equally unfair to presume that those who work from home, have the luxury of being able to afford to send their dogs to daycare everyday, have friends/family/neighbours who are kind enough and able to look after their dog or are in the fortunate position to not have to work at all are the only ones who should be blessed to have a dog in their life.

[Nicola]

I have 3 working cockers and while I'm not a working mum just now I was until recently and will be again at some point in the not too distant future. When I was working I used a dog walker and then daycare for my three, I couldn't always get home during the day and there's just no way I'd have left them alone all day every day, I know they would have coped with it 'ok' and yeah they'd probably have slept most of the time but they would not have been as happy as they could/should be and frankly the guilt would have been too much for me. The daycare was very expensive but I had to budget for it and cut back on other stuff, to me it was an essential as it was the thing which allowed me to work and to have dogs. To me owing a dog is not a right, it's a privilege and If I worked full time and wasn't able to go home myself during the day or have someone else do it or wasn't prepared to pay for a dog walker, dog sitter or daycare then I wouldn't have dogs because I just don't think it would be fair on them.