The worst decision

[JulieB]

Absolutely devastated and heartbroken that we are having to make that awful decision for my 12yr cocker Bailey. I  haven't been away from him for more than 8wks in total since we got him & knew this day would come, just not ready.
He's had diarrhoea for 6wks & its probably colon cancer as theres a lump. Due to where it is, they're not going to operate & steriods/medication hasn't changed things. He's now lethargic (also his age I think) & up 3-4 times to the toilet. Waiting for the vet to call me- really for reassurance that this is the right decision for Bailey. Am an emotional wreck just now. Trying, unsuccessfully,  to persuade myself this is the best thing for Bailey but when he looks st me I feel awful. How do I get through this?

[Mari]

So heartbreaking! I don't know if I have any helpful advice, I just wanted to say I feel for you! It's an impossible decision and the absolute hardest part of owning pets. I try to remind myself that preventing suffering is the last gift we are able to give our pets. We love them, they are family, so we give them the best life we can. And when the vet says there's nothing more they can do to give them quality of life, then we have to let go. You clearly love your dog, so you probably know when the time is right, you just need to trust yourself and ask the vet any questions you need answered to help you make the decision.

[lescef]

I feel so much for you, it is the worse decision to have to make. I know I cried more knowing I had to decide than after they had gone when  I felt empty and sad. You will do what's best for Bailey because you love him and don't want him to suffer.
Sending my love. X

[ejp]

So sorry, it is the worst decision to have to make.  All I can say is to remember why you are doing this, Bailey is the most important consideration here, and it is clear that you are fully aware of this.  There is no easy way to deal with this.  I wish I could do or say something that would help.  You know Bailey best, and you must trust your instincts, and try to see past your pain.  Please be kind to yourself, you are in the situation from hell and have to deal with it as best you can.  You will never be ready for it, that is a time I don't think exists. xx

[Jaysmumagain]

Oh Julie I am so very sorry and I hurt for the decision you are having to make.  It is a horrible situation and I can understand your heartache, your love and devotion to Bailey is what will make you know that the right decision has been made.
Your darling boy is suffering and he needs your strength at this sad time.
I too wish that I could do or write something to ease your pain....all your friends her at COL send there support and we are hear for you.
Juliex

[JulieB]

Thank you all for your words  - spoke with my dog walker (walks my dogs when I'm working) and he said it was the right time as Bailey is struggling now.
Its so difficult watching him sleep blissfully unaware of what is planned, I know him sleeping is hiding how unwell he is, but I feel terrible for this decision I have made.
I'll keep reading over your comments to give me strength.

[bizzylizzy]

I read an article a few days ago about how pack animals cover up the fact that they are in pain and struggle on to avoid being abandoned by the rest. Fortunately our dogs don‘t have to agonize about suffering the same fate and as awful as it is for us, we can spare them the pain of having to continue until they literally drop. You love Bailey, you‘ve been together every step of the way and you are making the final gift of devotion by releasing him from his pain and being with him as he passes on. No words will ease your pain, as all of us on here who have experienced it know,  but you are taking the only step possible and I know that Bailey knows it too.
Be kind to yourself, I wish you strength for the coming days.
Sending 

[ejp]

I think it is good that your dog walker has been able to give you some additional information to help you make a decision.  I know it is difficult to connect the happily snoozing Bailey with the poorly dog that you also see.  Bailey doesn't know anything about what is happening, so the pain is, sadly all yours.  Trust yourself, you will make the right choice because you love him, simple as that. 

[Gerryjane]

I just want to say how sorry I am. It is the most difficult decision we ever have to make for our pets. The decision you make will be the right one because you are only thinking of your dear Bailey. Wishing you courage and strength. X

[JulieB]

Spoke to my vet for reassurance that this is the right decision (not sure how many times I need to hear it). He confirmed that Bailey is the best he is likely to be. The medication hasnt worked as well as it could have, and he's on the highest dose so nothing else we can do. Its likely the cancer has spread which is why he is so fatigued
With no stamina. When I mentioned if the medication would give him 2mths,  he said it would likely be under 1 month, this way he won't deteriorate and can go with dignity.
Everything now in place, going to shower him with cuddles, kisses & anything he wants. Nothing will make this easier but at least I'll know I was devoted to him to the end. 
He'll be able to keep my dad (who passed away just 6mths ago) company.

[ejp]

  Thinking of you.  Bailey and your Dad can keep each other company, safe in your heart.

[revis]

How sorry i am for you.I feel for you so much.As a vet said to me once its better a day to soon than a day to late,so they don't suffer any more.He will be with your Dad and they will keep each other company.Wishing you strength and love.
 

[Mudmagnets]

Sorry to have missed this and that you have had to say goodbye to Bailey.

You are right it is the worst decision and it hurts like hell.  Look after yourself 

[rubyrules]

My heart goes out to you. I hope you get comfort knowing people can understand your anguish and pain. I hope you are doing ok 

[JulieB]

Thank you everyone - Bailey started his journey over Rainbiw Bridge on Thursday .  He was much worse than the vet expected when we took him in and he said it was very aggressive form of cancer & unlikey to make it into next week.  I knew we made the right decision, and think Bailey knew too - he even got out his bed to walk to the door to say his goodbye to our dog walker 
I took him to the care of an amazing lady who carries out pet cremations and she treated him as if he were his own pet.  We know he had the same love right to the very end, her kindness & sensitivity made this last stage so much easier to deal with.
Now to start a new normal life again but know he's with my dadand will see him when its my time.
RIP Bailey 2.6.07 -30.5.19