How do I know when it's time?

[spanielcrazy]

Can only echo what has been said here, it's a very personal decision and unique to each dog. Every dog has their own quirks, signals and certain looks, as has been mentioned by Jay and Penelope.

But I also feel that it has to be a decision that you can be somewhat at peace with. All the family should be on board with it, so please do not allow others to pressure you into something you are not ready for. I think the person who is not ready trumps all others since it is such a final decision. It should be made only for the dog and not caving into family pressure

  Wishing you strength and peace

[Megan Ffion]

Our prayers and thoughts are with you at this time.  Having been through this heartrendering time ourselves we know what you are going through.
You alone will know when the time is right because your little one will let you know.

God Bless,

Take care

Gwyneth  Colin  and  Megan   XXX

[ebony girl]

if you are happy to care for her and you know she's not in any pain and still enjoying her life then maybe its just not her time yet!!!.....as others have said, she will let you know or maybe she will drift off in her sleep off after a cuddle one evening 

either way, im so sorry that you are having to go through this at the minute and am sending lots of love and hugs to you all x x

[Countrygirl]

You do know.

Rumpole was 11 when he was diagnosed with liver cancer and the vet told me to go home and make a decision.  He was on medication and although he had lost a lot of weight, he was in no pain and eating normally.  To the amazement of the vet he lived happily for another 18 months. I had Rumpole before I married and as he had separation anxiety and I worked full time he stayed with my mum (we only lived a mile apart so I saw a lot of him).  One Saturday I went to see him, he was lying on the sofa and as soon as I looked at him I knew, he had had enough.  Mum said she was just about to ring me, she knew as well.  I rang the vets and I helped him go to the Bridge.

You will know.

Thinking of you and crying for you, it is one of the hardest things anyone ever has to go through.

[jessandme]

You really will know. 

I know it is difficult when others are trying to persuade you othewise, but this has to be between you and your dog, and outside pressure is completely inappropriate.   And as you can see, people here on COL do understand.

We had to make this decision for our much loved Lucy. Both of us were in no doubt, that morning we suddenly knew that it was the only thing left that we could do for her, and that we had to do it right away.  Lucy knew it was time, too, I think.  She had stopped eating the day before.

I am so sorry that it is hard for you at the moment - and being made harder than it need be, by others in your family.  But after all, we don't put people down when they reach a state like your girlie, do we!  Please don't let your thoughts be full of this issue - think instead of how much your little one enjoyed her breakfast, or her little walk at lunchtime, or how nice it was to see her pottering along in the evening...

[JeffandAnnie]

As everyone else has said, you will know straight away, somehow Jezzie will communicate it to you (I don't know how they do it but they do  ) and when it's time you will want it to happen quickly. One thing I advise, call your vet and ask if they will come to your house to pts (so much less stressful for you and your dog), what will happen and what they will need so you can be prepared.  for Jezzie and you.

[chrisj1957]

My thoughts are with you during this time.InJan 09 we had taken our loved Spot to the vets as he was losing weght and being sick alot it was a monday evening and we expected to get some tablets or treatment or him nothing could have prepared us for the news we were given she told us he had a low leak internally from his spleen and if she operated on him it would be too much for him to take.We too him home that night andslept with him all night next morning he was acting like a puppy again eating normal and bouncing around.We thought the vet had made a mistake but no the next day he was really ill his back legs had gone and he was being sick even water would not stay down I called her out and she said to let him go that was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.I felt like a murderer but the vet said he has given you over 15 years of love and devotion you owe him a dignified end so I let him go on 6/1/09 theres never a day goes past when we think of himI have my 2 beautiful boys now they wil never replace him but they are different dogs so we never compare them to him.You will know whats right when the time comes be strong and think of all the happy times you have had .Will say a little prayer for you tak care xxxx

[Mel]

I've seen it the other way round. My Keli had cancer of the nose and it had spread. Keli slept alot, had a few walks and ate. He was also on chemo.

The vet told me when she would no longer give chemo. I sort of knew. Keli did not want to go. He tried escaping and getting back in the car and refusing to go to the vets.

The guilt destroys me every day.

However, my OH's dog, Berti, was PTS in May. Bert also had cancer and on the last day his back end collapsed. The vets were sure it was not the cancer, but he was messing himself in his final hours.

I now know my darling Keli never went through that indignity and the cancer didn't kill him, painfully.

When you care very deeply for an animal, you put everything else aside for their care. It made me very ill caring for Keli with the stress it caused. Can the other people in your life still offer that level of care or are they also feeling the strain?

I didn't want to give up my Keli for anything, but after it was over, amidst the grief, I realised he was a sick old man. To keep him going was for my selfish reasoning, and not for him.

Only you can look at the situation lateraly and see if deep inside you are keeping your darling alive for you or for her.

This post is not what you wanted to hear, I know. You will know, but maybe you need to ask the right questions to find your answer, and only you know those questions.

[bajoleth]

It's such a hard decision to make, but like the others who have posted here, I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready. I went through this earlier in the year with Jess, and it was a look she gave me that made up my mind. We went for a little walk, shared a fillet of fish and then went to the vet's. I fed her biscuits while we waited and it was both dignified and heartbreaking at the same time.

It's a wonderful kindness you can do for him that we cannot do for our human loved ones.

I hope his last days are filled with all that he loves and that you enjoy them together. 

Much the same as how I knew it was time for our Cavie Don't be too hard on your OH and Mum I am sure they love her too and have her best intersests at heart, you see my Husband didn't want me to take Georgie to be pts but I knew I had to let her go with dignity. It wasn't a case of him loving her more than me so he didn't want her pts, it was more of a case of me loving her so much I couldn't let her go on
You will know when she has had enough,hopefully you will have the strength to do what you need to do for her when the time comes, take care  Jo

[williamsmum]

  I just want her to go peacefully in her sleep, is that too much to ask?

7 years ago, I lay on the bathroom floor with my old boy every night for a week begging him to do the same thing. I truly didn't think I would ever be able to let him go and I also thought that because I wanted him to stay with me forever, that I might miss the signs (ignorance is bliss so to speak) that everyone says that you will see. He looked at me that Sunday morning and I can't tell you what was different about that look compared to all the other times he had looked at me over the years, but instinctively I knew that look was letting me know that he had had enough. So if you have a strong bond with your dog and you don't feel it's her time to go, then maybe it isn't.

Another thing to remember when people are giving their opinions is that all dogs (and owners) have different tolerance levels as to what they can, and can't, cope with. If my old dog had become incontinent, for example,  I'd have let him go as he was a very clean dog who got so distressed if he ever had an accident in the house. Whereas the 2 dogs I have now wouldn't really care so it wouldn't be such an issue with them.

It really is a heartbreaking thing to go through  

Yes, this happened to me also with my old GSD, Max. We had just been down to the beach for his short walk, and as I lifted him back into the car, he just looked at me as if he was trying to tell me something, and I understood straight away. Within the hour, we were at the vets and he was gone. It broke my heart, but I knew I had to do it for him. Believe me, you will know. But don't do it because someone else tells you to do it. Do it because YOU know the time is right. Feel so sorry for you. Horrible situation to be in.

[cazza]

I just want to say I am crying reading this for all of you  it is so hard to make these type of decisions - I know I have been there too

Loads and loads of love and hugs to you all and especially to the OP 

[catcmartin]

Just to say as others have said I know how you feel having been there 2 years ago with my ESS.  You are closest to your dog so you need to be comfortable when making the decision you know your dog best.  I came close to keeping my girl going for me not for her.  As others have said you will know ehrn the time comes.  The problem I had was forcing myslf to recognize when she was telling me it was time.   I too have Charlie who had spinal surgery 6 years ago.  We were fortunate that he regained his legs still a bit weak but it doesnt hold him back any.  Now he also has a grade 4 heart murmur, luckily he is doing quite well.  I dread the day when I see that look in his eyes, and it will be me who sees it not OH as the two of them are soo close but Charlie comes to me for a cuddle if he isnt feeling the best, and is a typical macho man with his best pal my OH.  No it wont be easy I still to this day worry that I made the decision too soon for my ESS but even the vet nurses after said I had made the right decision, but I know in my heart that if I had postponed the decision it would have been for me but not what was best for my girl. 

My thoughts are with you at this time.  Dont rush into anything or let anyone talk you into making that decision if you feel the time is not yet right.  Hugs to you both.
Cathy

[mlynnf50]

    I could only read some of these as I find it upsetting, but from my experience you will know they somehow manage to get it across to you.  Never mind what anyone else says they are YOUR best friend and you are the closees.  I send all the love in the world to you at this time but dont please be bullied into anything YOU dont feel right.  I lost my G/R in December 2009 and I still cry for him and want him back so much, he was my soul mate.

I am sure you will make the right choice

[Sharon]

My darling Rosie had canine dementia, the medication kept it at bay, she slept most of the time, still ate and drank and was never incontinent right till the day she went to the bridge.  But the Saturday evening before she had got to the stage of pacing, so much so that the pads of her feet were bleeding, the day before she did respond to her name, but not on the Sunday, I couldn't get her to lie down, eat or drink, so knew it was time, when Rosie went she took a piece of me with her, yes I have other dogs but each and everyone of them special to me, even typing this now I need to go and reapply my mascara    It's just 14 months since she left us, seems a life time since I saw her last, but I know I did the right thing for her, it wasn't my Rosie there any more, just an empty shell.

Sleep tight baby girl 

[HayleyJB]

Thanking you all.  Just to let you know Jezzie has gone to the bridge this morning to be with her Mum, Misty.  I am heartbroken & don't know what to do with myself, I didn't realise I had so many tears.

She deteriorated this week, her incontinence got much worse and I couldn't bear to see her struggle anymore.  I also think when you all talked about "that look" she had been giving me it for months, I just kept ignoring it for my own selfish reasons.

We took her to the Pet Crematorium & left her in the private chapel.  Her ashes will go in the same casket as her Mum's.

She was very nearly 17 and had the best life any dog could wish for but she's left a massive hole in my life which at this present moment in time I cannot see me getting over for a long long time.

Hayley