Apologies for the mammoth post but much as we all love our dogs, don't you just want to strangle them sometimes ?
Last night I thought I'd have a bath and then lie in bed watching a DVD, I took the dogs out for their normal late night walk first. Stevie usually does a poo but not this time, despite loads of encouragement and hanging around waiting. Anyway we got home and I got in the bath, shutting the door so Misty couldn't come in to lick me and drink the bath water. I had my bath, came out the bathroom wrapped in a towel and stood straight in a big pile of steaming poo just outside the door, left for me courtesy of Stevie. To make things worse, opening the door had smeared it right across the carpet in a big brown arc. There was no hot water left so I had to wait for the kettle to boil, hopping around on one foot until I could wash the poo off. After that I had to boil the kettle again to clean the carpet, as soon as I got down on my hands and knees Misty started prancing around awoowoowooing thinking it was some kind of a game, before I could stop her she ran right through the poo and then jumped at me - putting poo prints all over the towel and on my back. I put her on the grooming table so she was out the way, stuck the towel in the washing machine and got a clean one, then finished cleaning up the carpet and door. I had to wedge a damp cloth under the door and swing it backwards and forwards to try and get the poo off from it's underside - I'll probably have to take it off it's hinges to clean it properly, it stinks. I boiled another kettle to clean Misty up and wipe down the mess she'd walked all over the grooming table. I then sat for a while waiting for the water to heat up so I could have another bath to get the poo off my back but got fed up and ended up having a cold bath instead - it was better than sitting in the freezing cold trying not to lean on the back of the chair and cover it in poo. After what seemed an eternity I eventually got to bed in a foul mood, turned off the light... only for Jimmy to start doing this pathetic whimpering - I'd forgotten to give the dogs their usual night time biscuit. He wasn't going to give in so I got up, went to the kitchen for biscuits and horror of horrors noticed there was another pile of poo by the front door ! I had to boil yet another kettle of water and get the scrubbing brush out again, by this time all 3 dogs were whining in the background for their biscuits. I was seething, in fact I was so angry I'm surprised my head didn't explode. It was a real struggle not to shout at them all to just **** right off and turf them out into the street.
And that wasn't even the end of it, it carried over to this morning. Normally, as soon as I'm up and dressed I take the dogs out for a quick toilet walk ( no garden). No sooner had I got their leads on and the phone started ringing, stupidly I answered it. When I got off the phone Jimmy and Misty were still waiting patiently at the front door but Stevie was nowhere to be seen. I eventually tracked her down to the bedroom where she was just finishing off the most enormous lake of a wee right on top of my bed, soaking not just through to the duvet but it was all over the lead handle as well.
Dogs - who'd have em ? They are making fools of the lot of us.
