Hello everyone! I'm new to this board, new to owning a Cocker, new to owning a dog at all... and I am really struggling.
Sorry in advance for a long post...
We (me and DH) are now in week 4 of owning a re-homed 2 year-old American Cocker and I am wracked with anxiety the whole time. Every morning I wake up with a sinking feeling in my stomach, thinking "ergh, I own a dog" and wishing I didn't. I know with the lockdown there is so much to think about and worry about, and personally there is a lot of uncertainty in almost every area of my (and DH's) life right now, but I didn't quite realise how stressed I would feel after getting a dog. My DH and I have wanted a dog for a while, did research, signed up with lots of different local rescue centres, bought all the necessary equipment, worked out a routine that would fit feeding/toileting/walks into our regular schedules. We've got advice and help from a trainer. I just never factored in that I would find owning a dog a burden.
She is generally very sweet with us. She spends nearly all day asleep, which is fine seeing as I work from home normally (7.5 hours a day) so I really just needed a dog who would happily sit there while I work. She does decide to wake up and then I have to think of something to do with her (when I really should still be focusing on work) like little training activities, her snuffle mat, her treat ball etc. I think a big part of my anxiety is worrying that she's bored, and the mental exertion of thinking of stuff to keep her entertained all the time.
She is housetrained, but had a little lapse last weekend (which I think we are now over, fingers crossed!) but that meant that for a couple of days I was watching her like a hawk in case she did her business inside again. That stressed me out, and made me really neurotic (which drove DH mad).
We're crate training her and for the past couple of nights she's slept in her closed crate (it's a soft crate, so it's zipped). This has helped with stopping her going potty inside overnight, and I'm hoping will help her with routine.
The biggest thing I'm finding hard at the moment is that she's really reactive on walks. She growls, barks and lunges at people, dogs, you name it. The previous owner (we're still in contact) was really surprised when I told her that, because she was always the perfect dog, never had any behaviour problems, never barked on walks etc. The previous owner said that she'll probably settle, it's probably just because she's had this big change. The thing is, I don't think she's ever lived as the only dog, now it's just her, me and DH. What if she's really scared because she doesn't have any other doggy pals on her walks now?? Will she ever be happy just being with me and/or DH on walks?? We have some training guidance of how to overcome leash reactivity, but it's slow and difficult. We've cut walks back to no longer than 10 minutes, once a day. That means that DH and I aren't getting all the lovely fresh air and exercise we wanted (which is part of why we got a dog) and it means more mental strain on me (and DH) to keep her entertained indoors/in the garden.
Overall, I find owning a dog right now really difficult. Life is limited because of lockdown, it's now even more limited because I feel cooped up with a dog who needs a huge amount of training, and I'm worried will never be happy on walks or happy to be left alone for longer than 5 minutes. My question is: does this get any easier? Will I ever stop feeling anxious about my dog? What if I never learn to love her?
Thanks all! Please don't judge me. I really want to love my dog, I just don't right now and have no idea how to get to the point where I'll enjoy living with this little fluff ball.