CockersOnline Forum
Cocker Specific Discussion => General Cocker Spaniel Discussion => Topic started by: conor on July 06, 2017, 02:27:01 PM
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Hi All, havent been on here in a long time, lost my girl a few weeks back, had her 8 1/2 years, not looking to replace her as no pup will ever do that, am i better to wait , my little girl misses her so much and i miss her as well , she was a great friend and a member of the family
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You will never replace your girl, she will always be in your heart. You have enough love to give to lots of dogs - and, for me, the best way to heal your broken heart and that of your daughter is to have another dog as soon as you can bear it. Apart from anything else, it will give you something to concentrate on, and nothing heals a broken heart like a puppy.
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its funny, i use my time to think about the good times, with cockers there is always loads of good times , im happy when i think about her, I still have the sad days , but she brought us so much in our lives , she is away to a better place , to run free
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When I lost Rosie I didn't think I could ever love another dog. But I did get one within a month of losing her, I did have very mixed emotions, but it was the best thing for me. I now have two, who I absolutely adore. You will know when the time is right. Good luck ❤️
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Personally I would say that when the hole left in your hart by your lost Cocker becomes a Cocker shaped hole, then that is the time to get another Cocker :luv:
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Well, it depends, you don't ever replace, you just extend the family. So if you feel now is the right time, then it is. We were left without dogs, losing 2 very suddenly and close together, decided no more, ever, ever again! After about 18 mths we were asked to take a rescue cocker who needed a quiet house due to her start in life, and we did. Daisy has really helped to heal our hearts. Had we been asked the same thing 6 mths earlier, not sure we would have done it. Go with your gut.
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Sorry to read you have lost your dog :luv:
When I lost Smudge I promised to give myself time without a dog, but I was so lonely without him, my resolve lasted all of two weeks.
I say trust your heart, you will know when it's right for you and your family.
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When we lost our 2 cockers within 7 months of each other, even though we had 3 other dogs at the time, I was devastated.
We got Dexter just over a week after losing our 2nd girl. The pup we shouldn't have bought. From ad on the internet.
Brought him home and for 6 weeks or so I felt awful. I liked him cos he was a little bundle of fluff. I looked after him and went through the motions, but I couldn't love him or even connect with him properly. :'(
I felt so guilty that he was here and my beloved girls were gone. I wondered what on earth we had done. Why did we rush so quickly into getting another puppy?
Then, one morning I came downstairs. He looked up at me. I looked into his eyes and fell hopelessly in love!!! :luv:
He is my little shadow - our rocky start together hasn't hurt him one bit. I truly believe he loves me almost as much as I love him.
He healed my heart and gave me a reason to smile again. He didn't replace my girls - but he helped heal me.
He is my special little boy and although we have the other dogs, Dexter is special because he came to me when I was bereft and he helped me heal. He is very much "my" dog and Alfie is very much Trev's dog and it is brilliant!
I would say once you start looking again, and you find the right dog for you - go for it. I am sure you won't regret it and it will help blur the edges of the hole left in your heart.
So sorry for your loss by the way.
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We have been thro' the loss of four cockers over the years, and it does hurt each and every time.
People do differ but for us we couldn't stand a home bereft of cocker company and within four months a new cocker pup graced our lives.
I believe it is no dishonour to the memory of a lost cocker to give a home to another canine companion, and we found that having a new cocker to look after did ease the pain of the loss.
M.
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'Replace' is the wrong word!
Although, like Penny I have an adorable little fluffy dog too, my black cocker was irreplaceable! I even burst into tears in PAH, and got hugged by a complete stranger, who cried too. I couldn't look at any cocker for a year, till I met a couple with gorgeous chocolate workers. I asked if I could stroke one of them, and received the wonderful , silky cocker kiss, and I held back the tears and felt comforted. My remaining dog was turning into a spoilt baby, unable to be left on her own, so I decided to get another rescue. Someone had beaten me to the cocker, so I was attracted to a scruffy, grinning terrier, straight out of a 'William' book, like his dog Jumble. OH was brought up on William books, and has bonded much better with him, than any of my spaniels and lab, which he thought were wimpy mummy's dogs!
Maybe it's because Bob didn't get to to have his full length of life. You feel hurt for them. It's the same with people. I'll be sad when my mother in law , aged 96, dies, but not broken hearted. ( But wouldnt I replace her)!!
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Sorry you've lost your girl. When I lost Blue in January we said we couldn't go through all the pain of losing another one. We missed him so much we couldn't even think about it. But the house was so empty and quiet, it was the first time in over 30 years we hadn't had a Spaniel. We lasted 4 months and started looking. We've had our Rescue boy Java 8 weeks now and it's the best thing we did. He's filled a huge gap in our lives and he's a fabulous boy who has helped us over Blue's loss. You'll always love and miss her and can never replace her, but you have so much love to give another dog I'd start looking the right one will be out there for you.
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I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here - if you feel you are ready now, then I think you should go right ahead When I was a child growing up and I had my beloved cat die, the first thing my father did was take me to choose another kitten. I didnt want to at first but he insisted. While you can never replace the one that has gone, it is also therapeutic and healing I think to have a new pet to love and fill the void.
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You will know when you are ready, you are not replacing, merely adding to your family :luv: I can see so much of my first cocker in my current one (not physically as Odie was golden, and Monty is a choc roan & tan) but just little quirks and things he does, I like to think it's my beloved Odie guiding Monty through this life :lol2:
Good luck on whatever you decide.
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you are right replace isnt the word, over the last few days I have been looking for a good breeder and one in mind has plan for around christmas time , you have to wait if you want one from a good breeder, plenty about in the local adds , but that would fit in with my plans, i have moved house so the new house isnt puppy proof, with those sharp teeth , i need to make sure the little one is safe, no idea if I want a boy or a girl, a girl is smaller and its a smallish dog I want, so many more questions. thank you for all the words of support, my parents have a cocker as well, so im never too far away from them
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I am so sorry for your loss. :bigarmhug:
Like others have said you know when it is right. I always go through the phase of not being able to cope with the heartache anymore and not wanting another one to eventually it being more of a heartache not having a dog in my life. I think people grieve differently and only you can tell when it's right for you.
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I believe its often an individual thing - some may get another within days as the void is too much to bear (despite others protesting its not time but then they don't inhabit their mind and emotions surrounding this) yet some others may never get another dog again or may not get one that is similar to their last one either in breed or colour.
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i only really know cockers and would love to get another when the time is right, my last one was a small sturdy pup , but so soft with my little girl, im just waiting to hear if there will be any pups coming up in the next few months, i might get lucky and find one that suits us, I have been out with my parents cocker and she is loving the extra walks and attention
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I think it has to be what feels right for the individual - when I lost my Cavalier it was 2.5 years before I could get another dog, and when I lost my last Cocker it was just over a year before I got Grace.
To be honest, it was making contact with my last Cocker's breeder (Rosie was a rescue and I only met the breeder after I lost her) and finding that she was having a litter that same year that made it possible for me to get Grace.
You can never replace a Cocker, but the pain of losing them becomes easier to live with once you have another Cocker to love.
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I may have found one, she is 7 weeks old at the min and will be ready to go in a few weeks time, a tri colour little girl, hopefully will get to meet the breader in the next week, she will want to see us and I want to see her set up as well, exciting times ................
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Fingers crossed she is the right little girl, you mentioned when is the right time...........we had this talk too, and quite out of the blue my bosses sister volunteered at a rescue - a 7 mth old cocker needed to be re-homed - it was less than 6 weeks after we lost Jay, but the sad circumstances around the re-homing pulled at my heart strings and along came Ollie.
Each little puppy brings her own personality and enduring ways - each one is so different.
Jay is so often in my thoughts, but Ollie is here demanding as ever and at the moment curled up beside me.
Best wishes and hope the choice is right for you.
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Fingers crossed she is the right little girl, you mentioned when is the right time...........we had this talk too, and quite out of the blue my bosses sister volunteered at a rescue - a 7 mth old cocker needed to be re-homed - it was less than 6 weeks after we lost Jay, but the sad circumstances around the re-homing pulled at my heart strings and along came Ollie.
Each little puppy brings her own personality and enduring ways - each one is so different.
Jay is so often in my thoughts, but Ollie is here demanding as ever and at the moment curled up beside me.
Best wishes and hope the choice is right for you.
hopefully this little one will take to us and we take to her, just need to think of a name now,
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Best of luck! Do keep us posted! :D
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Best of luck! Do keep us posted! :D
going to see her on Sunday, so fingers crossed
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Firstly, I'm so sorry for you're loss, it's very hard losing a much loved pet, best friend and confidante.
I think there is no rules on when to get another dog, it's not a replacement it's a new chapter in you're lives, you'll always have the memories you shared with you're previous dog and they remain special and unique.
When Indie passed away age 12 I was utterly heartbroken, I still am 2.5 years later! I swear a part of me died with her, she meant the absolute world to me. I didn't want that heartache again, but I also didn't want to not have a dog ever again, we waited about 3 months when Charlie kinda found us! I got the opposite sex and a different colour completely, I wasn't looking to replace my beautiful girl, just to try and plug the gap she left and have joy in the house again.
Charlie is a total different personality to Indie, he's a total clown and makes us laugh every day, he's growing into a beautiful dog and I could not see myself without him ever, Indie is still and always will be a massive part of my life, i love them both unconditionally and I'm sure when you are ready you're new addition will give you as much joy and love.
You'll know when it's right x
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I have a new one home with me since yesterday, will get some pictures up later , in the right section
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That's great news - congratulations :clapping: :clapping:
I will close this thread now and Conor can start a new one for the new arrival :luv: