At my wits end

[Mollymoo13]

Molly is 17 weeks old and I have had her since she was 9 weeks old. First 2 weeks she went to bed in the crate at 10pm and slept through till 6:30 and was  clean. No accidents. Then she started waking during the night and barking. If I go down and sit in the room with no interaction she will settle for a few hours then repeat. I am up twice a night with her. Generally still clean so not requiring the toilet. I live in a mid terrace so letting her "bark it out" is not really an option and when I do wait say 30 mins to see if she settles there seems to be no sign of it she just carries on barking. Lately howling has come into it as well.
If I get up then it's only my sleep that is disturbed as my 2 daughters are at home too. Hubby works 4-5 nights a week and the nights he is home he sleeps through any noise.
I am at my wits end and am so exhausted with rubbish broken sleep. I have a very responsible job where being fatigued could be bad and also need to drive for hour 2 days a week to get to work and have found myself feeling sleepy on these journeys.
I have tried leaving radio on, moved her to the room she seems to prefer, covered the crate to make it really dark, left crate door open to allow her to wander around ( that was very bad no sleep at all). She just seems to want someone there. I have considered bringing her into bedroom with me but that is my space with my husband and I have issues with her being there at times when I want to be close to my husband.
I am at the point of considering rehoming her which is not what I want at all but cannot see a way through. I am so so tired everything is disproportionate and quite frankly can't continue.
Can anyone help me please

[bizzylizzy]

Oh dear, you do sound down! First of all be assured it WILL get better, I think most of us have gone through this at some stage but of course when you have family and have to work too, that's not much consolation  . Just a few points that spring to mind:-
In our case, after trial and error, we found Humphrey was better when it wasn't totally pitch dark so I started to leave the blinds up at night.
I know lots of people don't leave water down at night, - personally I totally disagree with that, particularly if they're fed dry food.
If you can, try and wait for a break in the barking, and then go to him if still necessary, that way he's learning that being quiet will get him more attention.
So difficult when you're tired and probably a bit grumpy, I know, but do try and stay as calm and matter of fact as you can, they're  so quick to pick up on any tension and become more unsettled.
Perhaps you can arrange some sort of rota with your husband on a weekend, so that you can get at least one good nights sleep? It isn't going to be a permanent situation but it might just help you get over this stage.
Chin up, -  you'll get through this,  hopefully someone else on here will have tips about what worked for them. Best of luck!

[ips]

We had similar when we first got eze. Crate on kitchen, as soon as she barked or howled which was within minutes I gave a loud "ssshhh" I was in the room next to kitchen waiting for the inevitable. If you can time this shhh as soon as it starts then she stopped. I needed about six on the first night four on the second two on the third and by the fourth night she was quiet. Until 6am when she started making a noise and went crazy with excitement when let out. This continued for about six months the she cut her pad so ended up in crate at side of our bed as we were concerned about her chewing the dressing. She was from then on much calmer generally so she remains in our bedroom. The fact is cockers want to be with you or in our case on you 24hrs a day its the way they are.

We have a crate on the lounge which she will happily go in for the evening if we want "an early night" 😉 this set up works for us. I am not saying you should have crate on bedroom of course that's up to you. You could try the landing maybe so crate is closer to you not saying that would work in fact it could make it worse. Try the sshhh if you can

[bmthmark]

Sorry to hear this.

Your story brings back some bad memories. I went through exactly what you are going through now. What made it worst was everyone else who has had a puppy said how good theirs was. I just couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong  .

I would put mine to bed at 10pm and he would howl, bark and cry  . He just wold not settle at all and I struggled due to lack of sleep. I too thought how am I going to cope with this and full time work. Also I was more concerned about my kids being woken up as they had school etc. Also because I was so tired I just didn't think straight at all.

What I did was as follows:

- If I knew he had already been to the toilet, I would not go to him. I would shout something down the stairs e.g. 'Quiet Jett!!'. I think part of the problem was that he just wanted to know I was still around.
- I covered the crate completely
- I removed the radio as I felt this was waking him up. Instead I put a clock next to his crate. I think he likes the ticking noise.
- I also invested in a bigger crate. I'm almost certain this was what sorted mine out. The crate I used when he was small was a very small crate, he simply out grew his crate. I went for a large one so he has his bed one side and a blanket and a couple of toys the other. He can stand up and stretch out now.

He is now 11 months old. Our routine is 9.30pm toilet time, then 10pm he walks himself in to his crate and he is covered. He normally starts moving around at 6.30am but occasionally we can sleep in until 7.30am.

I was in the exact same situation as you and from experience it will get better. I think as they get old they start to understand things better and when your puppy realises she is in a good place, all will be fine.

Good luck

[hoover]

We started Ollie off in the bedroom and gradually moved him further away until by that age he was sleeping quite happily in the kitchen.  Don't know if a similar process would help you.  He started off right next to the bed, then at the far end of the bedroom, then in hallway, then in kitchen - a sort of weaning process to get him further away    Bit of a faff to move the crate tho.   

Hope you find something that works for you in the long term.

[JeffD]

We started Ollie off in the bedroom and gradually moved him further away until by that age he was sleeping quite happily in the kitchen.  Don't know if a similar process would help you.  He started off right next to the bed, then at the far end of the bedroom, then in hallway, then in kitchen - a sort of weaning process to get him further away    Bit of a faff to move the crate tho.   

Hope you find something that works for you in the long term.

This is what I have done with all puppies you get a better sleep over those first few weeks, and all my dogs have ended up sleeping in the kitchen That was until devil dog Teal entered our lives, she is 5 now and sleeps where ever her ladyship fancies 

[ips]

We started Ollie off in the bedroom and gradually moved him further away until by that age he was sleeping quite happily in the kitchen.  Don't know if a similar process would help you.  He started off right next to the bed, then at the far end of the bedroom, then in hallway, then in kitchen - a sort of weaning process to get him further away    Bit of a faff to move the crate tho.   

Hope you find something that works for you in the long term.

This is what I have done with all puppies you get a better sleep over those first few weeks, and all my dogs have ended up sleeping in the kitchen That was until devil dog Teal entered our lives, she is 5 now and sleeps where ever her ladyship fancies

Ha 😁👍

[Mollymoo13]

Thank you guys. It's difficult as I have a 3 storey house and Molly is on the ground floor and I am 2 floors up so shouting is not really an option. Not enough room on landing for crate so can't bring her closer. I have found out that the next doors child woke crying at 1 this morning which is when Molly woke so I don't know if that disturbed her.
I know teething may be an issue and also getting towards being that teenager dog. So hard when you are tired to be objective. 

[hoover]

It sounds like it is really adversely affecting you - I know you don't want to do it for the long term but maybe even for the short term to catch up on sleep could you try her in a crate in your bedroom?

We have a travel crate which is easy to put up and down and carry and a wee bit smaller than Ollie's metal crate so you might be able to get one of those, start off in the bedroom, move it to a bathroom perhaps if not enough room on landing..just enough to build up the stages so it is not a sudden dramatic change.

[its.sme]

Could Molly just want to know where you are, you are two flights up and for a young pup this might just be too far ?

Bea is 5 and prefers to sleep upstairs as she is very a Human orientated ( as Cockers are ) , if she feels like sleeping downstairs she will give a little bark to check where we are ( lazy moo) I will then answer and off to sleep we go

I agree with hoover's etc suggestion, your pup is still young and needs to gain confidence to be on her own, for her first 8 weeks she had Litter Mates etc around her so a gradual move will probably help.

[sodpot2000]

It is also likely, if she has come from kennels that she has yet to get any clear idea of routines and that there are times for sleeping and times to be up. Annie came to us just over a year ago, from breeders via Many Tears, and for quite a while she had no idea that night was any different to day. If you wake up and fancy a drink or a biscuit or a game then just go for it! It took a while to get her into a routine and 'sleeping through'. Then, for no apparent reason, it just clicked.

Good luck with this. It will be a bit of trial and error coupled with a bucket full of patience. I suspect that the pup is just lonely and a bit scared - all alone in the dark. Cockers don't really like being separated from you.

Could you leave her something with your scent on it to cuddle up to? An old dressing gown, something like that?

[aliceandlouis]

My heart goes out to you - my OH reckons that sleep deprivation should be banned under the Geneva Convention as a method of torture.  It is horrible, horrible, horrible and impacts on every area of your life, so you have my understanding and sympathy.....

Although our house is only on two levels, Louis' bedroom is downstairs and at the far end of the house - we couldn't be further away and still be in the same house if you see what I mean.  When he was a puppy (he was crated) and he cried in the night I used to use the' speak' facility on a baby monitor that we used so that we could hear him if he became agitated overnight (middle age hearing decline and a detached house meant that we were immune to the sound of puppy crying and luckily there were no neighbours to upset).  Just by being able to speak to him softly and reassure him meant he would more often than not just settle down - not sure if this is something that you might like to try?

I wish you well