Author Topic: In great need of a little reassurance  (Read 2080 times)

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Offline sarahmaie

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In great need of a little reassurance
« on: September 23, 2010, 06:23:15 PM »
Hello lovely COL, I am approaching the end of week 2 since getting our pup and I am tired, stressed out and need someone to tell me that I havent made a mistake!!!! I live on my own with my 5 year old daughter and now our new addition 12 week old pup Sadie. She is so so good most of the time and a real gem at night time sleeping through from 10pm to 6.30am and is toilet trained now but its such such hard work! I knew it would be like this but its getting me down now!!! I am trying to stay positive in believing this WILL pass! Mostly its the tough job of settling things between my daughter and Sadie actually. Tell me it gets better PLLLLEEAAASE!!  :'(  :-\  :'(
Sarah, owned by Sadie xxx

Offline Poppsie

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Re: In great need of a little reassurance
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2010, 06:34:29 PM »
Hello you haven't said what the problem is between your daughter and the pup?   :luv:

poppy 31/12/95-27/4/2009
Pebbles 14/1/97-10/2/2011 
my beautiful girls together again forever x

Offline lisalh

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Re: In great need of a little reassurance
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2010, 06:39:49 PM »
Without knowing the problem I cant offer advice, but I know I was at my wits end several times when Fred was a pup (read some of my red wine fuelled early posts if you ever need a laugh) but I wouldnt be without him now. Without noticing things got easier, so much so I added a second dog to the mix.  It is only early days and both the pup and your daughter are getting used to the new situation- set some boundaries for them both and grab yourself a large glass of vino when times get hard and come here for support
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.  ~Ambrose Bierce


Offline JeffandAnnie

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Re: In great need of a little reassurance
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2010, 07:07:37 PM »
a real gem at night time sleeping through from 10pm to 6.30am
:o Lucky you! Sorry to say, but it may well get worse before it gets better; with both mine I found that they started off sleeping really well the first few weeks, then had months of interruptions before settling back down again (well, Jeff's now nearly a year and still needs to go out during the night  ::) ). I found the "teenage" stage (about 5-12 months) more difficult than puppyhood  :-\ Annie is now 2.5 and although still very energetic she has calmed down a lot.

Having a puppy really is HARD work - they're not like kittens which just seem to get on with it, and cockers especially seem to crave attention from their humans and are constantly "there"!

I hope you get some better and more encouraging advice; as others have said if you post what the problems are between Sadie and your daughter there are some real experts on here who can advise  :blink:

Good luck; Sadie is beautiful  :luv:

Offline Hurtwood Dogs

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Re: In great need of a little reassurance
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2010, 07:18:31 PM »
I know what the problem is, Sadie finds your daughter irresistible and bites her the whole time, your daughter can't not react (because she's 5 and kids can't help but react to pain) and so you're in a vicious circle because there is no way currently you can train Sadie not to bite her because Sadie gets so much fun from it!

Right?

I have this t-shirt.. several times over. I was given some great advice by a dog trainer and she was dead right. Keep them separate, a lot, until the pup is older and has learnt bite inhibition on you and has also finished teething.... ;)

There is no way you can stop what's happening between them at the moment but your pup will grow out of it and the more you can avoid the nibbling sessions the less they'll happen as the pup grows up. Let the pup play with your daughter on a long line while you supervise.. the minute the pup starts biting her, without any confrontation, remove the pup to a 'quiet' area (I used a baby gate across the kitchen and the pup had his crate/toys in there etc and kid stayed the other side). It can take months but it pays off, I promise. You also avoid your child becoming too nervous around the pup and the pup gradually learns that to stay and play, she has to play in a certain way which includes not biting ;) Children (even the calmest child) over stimulate puppies and excite them so they are no good at helping to teach a pup what's acceptable. However, if you manage them both and avoid any really bad incidents (child reacting to the pain and hurting the pup for example) once the pup has grown up and is a happy adult dog that's never had a bad experience with your child, they will be the best of chums I promise :luv: :luv:

Hang in there you have a long road ahead but you will look back on this time and know it was worth it when Sadie is your firm family friend :luv:

Hannah, Dave & Normy xx

Trev 2001-07 soul dog, always in my heart and dreams x

Offline sarahmaie

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Re: In great need of a little reassurance
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2010, 07:41:05 PM »
I know what the problem is, Sadie finds your daughter irresistible and bites her the whole time, your daughter can't not react (because she's 5 and kids can't help but react to pain) and so you're in a vicious circle because there is no way currently you can train Sadie not to bite her because Sadie gets so much fun from it!

Right?

I have this t-shirt.. several times over. I was given some great advice by a dog trainer and she was dead right. Keep them separate, a lot, until the pup is older and has learnt bite inhibition on you and has also finished teething.... ;)

There is no way you can stop what's happening between them at the moment but your pup will grow out of it and the more you can avoid the nibbling sessions the less they'll happen as the pup grows up. Let the pup play with your daughter on a long line while you supervise.. the minute the pup starts biting her, without any confrontation, remove the pup to a 'quiet' area (I used a baby gate across the kitchen and the pup had his crate/toys in there etc and kid stayed the other side). It can take months but it pays off, I promise. You also avoid your child becoming too nervous around the pup and the pup gradually learns that to stay and play, she has to play in a certain way which includes not biting ;) Children (even the calmest child) over stimulate puppies and excite them so they are no good at helping to teach a pup what's acceptable. However, if you manage them both and avoid any really bad incidents (child reacting to the pain and hurting the pup for example) once the pup has grown up and is a happy adult dog that's never had a bad experience with your child, they will be the best of chums I promise :luv: :luv:

Hang in there you have a long road ahead but you will look back on this time and know it was worth it when Sadie is your firm family friend :luv:

RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT!!! You have hit the nail on the head! Thank you so much, that makes so much sense. Everything you wrote is spot on  :-*  :-*  :-*  Thank you :luv: Its so nice to hear this its untrue!!  :lol: Am going to plan some space / quiet area for Sadie immediately. You are an  :angel: Hurtwood
Sarah, owned by Sadie xxx

Offline sarahmaie

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Re: In great need of a little reassurance
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2010, 07:42:14 PM »
And yes, vino is defo a good idea!!!  :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: ;)
Sarah, owned by Sadie xxx

Offline Holly2009

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Re: In great need of a little reassurance
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2010, 07:42:32 PM »
We were the same as above, kept Holly separate from our two boys (now nearly 5yrs & nearly 2yrs) until she was around 10 months now they are best of friends  :blink:
Only today Holly jumped up onto the sofa between my 21 month olds legs and tried to go to sleep, my son has other ideas as he loves stroking then squishing her sides, I took a few pics actually have to get them uploaded.
It does get so much easier...you just need to get the stair gate back up  :D

Offline Hurtwood Dogs

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Re: In great need of a little reassurance
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2010, 07:57:51 PM »
You're more than welcome :-* :-*

When I was told to keep them separate most of the time it was like music to my ears :lol: It was what I thought I should do but was worried they wouldn't bond properly if they were kept separate, but I can honestly say it was BRILLIANT advice. My son is now nearly 8 and that particular terror pup is now 3 and they are the very best of friends and have been for 2 years now. It was a big shock to me as I'd had another cocker before who was a 1yr old when my son was born and that way around it worked perfectly... always get the pup first  :lol:

Good luck, my second pup was about 8-9 months before I could leave them together a bit more without worrying too much... in a few months time you won't have any of this, but you have a little while to go before it will become easier :-*

Hannah, Dave & Normy xx

Trev 2001-07 soul dog, always in my heart and dreams x

Offline sarahmaie

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Re: In great need of a little reassurance
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2010, 08:15:18 PM »
FAB!!!  ;) OK, I have a plan!!!!!

The current situ: Sadie's crate is in the lounge, we have the stair gate across the lounge door blocking off the front door and stairs. She has the run of the lounge, kitchen and garden. She has a blanket for her daytime/eve naps on one sofa, she isnt allowed on the other - this is where Amber sits.

So, new situ should go like this: Sadie's crate in kitchen, stair gate across kitchen/lounge door so she has run of just the kitchen and garden?

My concerns: A - moving her crate may unsettle her brilliant night time sleeping routine. B - My kitchen is so small. C - This separation will just cause her to whine and bark like she does currently when I put her in the other room when she gets too much!?
Sarah, owned by Sadie xxx

Offline Hurtwood Dogs

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Re: In great need of a little reassurance
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2010, 08:43:48 PM »
It sounds good but may cause you problems whilst she adjusts to it - I had Dave in the kitchen from day 1.

I'd suggest get her used to having the crate in the kitchen during the day and encouraging her to nap there and give her things like a filled kong to keep her busy when she's 'behind bars'. Dave did moan a bit sometimes, but soon gave up when it didn't get him anywhere - try and go in only when she's quiet. You could try moving the crate back into the lounge at night if it's a real problem, but I'd probably try and avoid this. Another tip I'd give you is don't make a fuss of her everytime you're in the kitchen just walk in do what you have to do and leave again.. so she gets used to you coming and going without it being a big deal. I don't greet my dogs as pups until I've done a few chores etc as it takes the heat out of it for them and makes for a calmer house particularly when you're trying to sort kids out as well. They get used to me coming and going as a 'normal' thing, so being left alone isn't so different to me being in the same room focusing on other stuff if that makes sense?

I always used to release Dave from his area when my son had gone to bed so he got a bit of 'freedom' time and proper time with me too which I think is important otherwise the rest of the house can become a real focus for them as it's such forbidden territory, which is always a bit too attractive to norty pups... :lol:

Hannah, Dave & Normy xx

Trev 2001-07 soul dog, always in my heart and dreams x

Offline Holly2009

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Re: In great need of a little reassurance
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2010, 09:18:03 PM »
It sounds good but may cause you problems whilst she adjusts to it - I had Dave in the kitchen from day 1.

I always used to release Dave from his area when my son had gone to bed so he got a bit of 'freedom' time and proper time with me too which I think is important otherwise the rest of the house can become a real focus for them as it's such forbidden territory, which is always a bit too attractive to norty pups... :lol:

That's exactly what we did, once the little 'human beans' were in bed it was mummy & Holly time, we did all our training during this time and she got the run of the house!  :blink: