I just want to say thank you again for such kind words and support through this awful sad time. I am still so very conflicted, but after having spoken at length with close family and friends yesterday, I think we are coming close to being forced to make the decision to think about rehoming Teddy. I have been in absolute pieces since then, but what it feels as though it boils down to is, either we go back to how things we were, where we know the situation (kids, cats, one dog=harmony) or we continue into what is an entirely unknown situation - nobody knows how Teddy will mature, or how much worse the aggression will become before (and if) it gets better.
I can't believe I am even writing this, as right now he is being an utter delight and is cuddled up with his head resting on my lap asleep, and my heart feels like it is breaking into pieces, but I just don't want him to spend his life having to be crated or in a separate room. And I also feel as though it isn't fair on my children or other pets as, although I really feel Teddy will be a wonderful adult dog (he already is an amazing puppy in so many ways), it doesn't feel that I have the capacity or emotional energy to give him everything he so needs to become that dog. It will take so much (it has already taken so much of my soul to come this far), and it doesn't seem fair to divide the little energy I have so thinly between him and the children, when he needs so much time and love and attention.
I think right now I am struggling because I can't imagine anyone will ever know or love him the way I do, and the thought of him frightened and confused is tearing me apart. But I have to say that hearing stories such as Harry's really gives me hope that there are wonderful people out there who can give him all that he needs and love him as much as I do. Hearing from lovely people on this forum has also helped me believe there might be someone out there for him who can do the work and enjoy years and years of utter joy with Teddy. He is the most beautiful, loving, loyal, trainable, intelligent dog, whom I adore. His recall, tricks, retrieve and off lead work is perfect; he is angel out and about with dogs, children, bikes, horses etc. It just feels too much to handle when we are all indoors and there is a constant need to be vigilant, even though I'm sure that in the grand scale of aggression, his really isn't that high. This is what makes this decision so hard; I don't know what the right thing is to do, I only know that I am exhausted and feel daunted by the work ahead of us.
I'm sorry that I have gone on and on about him here, I just need to share my love for him with people who will understand. If anyone has any advice they could give me for what to do next, if we do have to make the decision I am dreading, I would be so grateful, as ALL that matters to me in this is Teddy's wellbeing and happiness. Thank you for listening x