I am desperate for help and some advice
Firstly, welcome to Cockers Online
You have done the right thing by coming to this forum for good sound advice.
Many of the people on here are very experienced cocker owners, work in veterinary practices, run dog rescue shelters, are dog behaviorists etc... so together we're a pretty knowledgeable lot
Your cocker pup sounds like a very loving and healthy dog although clearly you are experiencing some very disruptive and distressing behavior from him
My advice to you is to cancel the appointment with your vet tomorrow (there's no point in making these sorts of BIG decisions when you're feeling overwhelmed, desperate and stressed, as its likely you will regret your decision after you've calmed down), take a deep breath to clear your head (believe me we all know how frustrating dogs can be
), have a read through some of the information here on the website about 'rage syndrome', behaviorists in your area, cocker rescues etc... chat to some of us a bit more about the detail of your pups behavior - as it's most likely some of us will have experienced very similar problems to you and will have good practical advice for you to try out
In the mean time try to keep your spirits up
As you say you have a wonderfully loving young pup who's healthy
Try to keep him away from flash point situations with your mum (maybe get your mum to feed him to see if he starts to see her as a friend rather than a threat
)
If he has a go at your mum leave the room yourself to show him that you disapprove rather than grabbing him or shouting at him as he may see your involvement as you supporting his behavior.
Tell your mum to ignore and back away from him if he is aggressive so as not to aggravate his aggressive response to her.
I'm sure that with our support (feel free to personal message any of us for a private chat) your little chap will learn how to behave in an acceptable manner and you will enjoy having him around you once again
I live in London (South West) so there's some of us in your part of the world
Keep your chin up girl!
Mary xxx