Upset because I am failing

[Sheepscheeks]

Today at the end of our walk Freddie saw two chihuahuas on lead and ran up to meet them. He is quite boisterous and clearly the one he was meeting did not want to play so the owner picked her dog up and started walking off. I was about 40-50 yds away. Freddie started jumping up at the dog and basically would not leave it alone. I was calling him but he was so focussed on the dog that I might as well not have existed. He will usually come away from dogs that don't want to play - I think it was because she picked her up that he became obsessed. He is only 8 months old and I try and get him to meet as many dogs as possible on our walks - he just loves to play. Anyway the owner of the chihuahua just kept walking even though she knew I was trying to call Freddie back. When I eventually caught up with her I said something along the lines of "if you pick him up he thinks "that must be very interesting"" to which she replied "well if you can't control your dog, I'm not being funny but I don't want to be jumped all over". I know I should have apologised but I just couldn't say anything because at the time I was thinking "why didn't you just stop and let me get to you quicker" and I was cross with Freddie even though it is not his fault at all - I have failed to train a reliable recall. She is right, I can't reliably control him. He got in with some horses and ponies a couple of weeks ago and I had a right old time getting him out.

Sorry, I have just burst into tears about it which is so silly I know - my dd must think I am bonkers. The thing is, I wasn't the mad keen dog person in the house and I think we made a mistake getting Freddie just because the children were so desperate for a dog. I have done my best with training him and have altered my working week for him. The novelty wore off for the children very very quickly leaving me to do the bulk of the work (with oh's help). If I knew someone who wanted a half trained cocker ... I just don't think I am up to the job of bringing up a well behaved dog. 

[fizzyntiffy]

No advice I'm afraid, I'm finding recall hard going too.  But big, big hugs to you.  It's darn hard work sometimes xxx  Try and think of the positive things you've acomplished with Freddie.

I feel like this sometimes with my teenager tbh

[Hurtwood Dogs]

 

He's entering the 'teen' months so please don't think of yourself as a failure, I for one and I'm pretty sure everyone on here has had moments of absolute despair and self doubt during these months, it's frustrating and hard work. I promise if you get your head down for a few months and be consistent with him, you'll end up with a dog that's a joy to walk

What are you doing at the moment to train recall and we'll see if we can give you any extra tips?

[Sheepscheeks]

Thanks for that, you are right - I must have accomplished something with him sometime! He was housetrained quite easily and loves everybody. And he does come back to me if dogs are not playful. It's only if they are particularly lively with him that there is a problem - or if they are very small and don't want to play. Think I may have to start recall with a whistle. Will search out that Top Barks thread!

Recall training at the moment is - when we are out and on our own - I call him back frequently and excitedly when he is coming towards me/looking at me, get down to his level and treat him with tuna bread when he is sitting in front of me (whilst holding his collar) then I say off you go. When calling him away from other dogs I use a really squeaky excited voice as well. He has never had perfect recall even before teenage phase. He has got better and sometimes comes away from every dog we meet after saying hello but, as I say, these are the ones who have a sniff and then trot off obediently with their owner. Do I have to keep him on a lead until he will ALWAYS come back to me?

[Karma]

What you said was 100% correct - if a dog owner picks a small dog up it makes it FAR more interesting than it was...
However, you are also correct when you say you need to train a reliable recall to prevent these situations happening...  
What Hannah has posted is absolutely spot on - he is still young, and recall is something that becomes solid with time (and effort) - the teenage months are often more frustrating (though less painful!) than the puppy months, when your dog will look at you as if to say "I hear you, but you haven't convinced me that you're saying anything that I really need to listen to!"

What really helped our recall was our socialisation class - as it is in a secure field, we can hide very well, and the dogs quickly learn to keep an eye on us!!!!  Also other owners are much more helpful, so if a dog is ignoring the recall, we pop our dogs in a sit and make them really uninteresting until the owner is able to get their dog's attention....
For dogs that are really struggling the long-line is brought out (again much more practical in an enclosed field with owners who understand what is going on!)...

[Geordietyke]

Just wanted to also send you big hugs   My recall with Odie is very hit and miss, he will not come back when called if there is another dog around to play with.  It IS very very difficult (and frustrating) and there have been many tears (mine) over the past few months with one thing and another.  Of course, it doesn't help when you think you've cracked it as a young(ish) pup only to find you are now in the next phase of 'teenagerdom'.  I just keep at it and hope with patience, consistency and repetition, we will eventually crack it!  Lesley

[Clover]

Hang in there, they can be frustrating  It will get better. 

Just a little tip from me, I bought a small squeeky toy, the latex sort, she doesn't have it in the house or garden, only comes walkies with us. It lives in my small bag that I carry, EVERYWHERE. 

If I really need to get her back, squeak squeak, look what this is, that usually does the trick

Don't be hard on yourself, I think most of have had these moments.  Chin up 

[Nicola]

Hang in there, you're not failing him, he's still a youngster and the adolescent period can be very frustrating at times. I would definitely try whistle training him for recall, it's a really clear and consistent signal for them to respond to. Something to get his focus on you would also be a good idea - for some dogs it's food, others a squeaky toy or a tennis ball etc.

[fizzyntiffy]

I feel bad about my flippant teenager comment    Oops, sorry.

I really, really need to work on Sasha's recall, Freddie sounds an angel compared      

[Sheepscheeks]

Thanks everyone. I think what upset me the most was the "if you can't control your dog..." and it just hit home. I AM trying. Will get a squeaky toy - assume he gets to have it if he comes back??? Have considered trying being more demented so he wonders what on earth is going on!! Will get a whistle I think...

Don't worry Fizzynifty - I took it in the right humour!

[supergirl]

Don't beat yourself up about it, we've all been there or had times when our dogs haven't behaved as we would wish, and I hate to say this but there will probably be a few more times when you want the ground to swallow you up.  Just take a deep breath................and remember that its just a phase that he's going through.

Recently took Roly and Misha to their first agility competition, where Misha was a perfect angel and got clear rounds, however Roly got eliminated from all 4 of his runs, purely because he just wanted to run around the arena as fast as he could doing the occassional jump and going and saying hello to everyone including the judge - nothing like failing with an audience and 4 times aswell  

Recall using a whistle is so much easier than shouting after your dog.  By using a whistle there is no emotion in it, you can't sound angry when you blow (even though you might be).  It's difficult not to sound angry when you're shouting after your dog, and dogs can sense it.  I have a similar problem getting Lexi back and one of things I do is to start running in the opposite direction once I've whistled, works very quickly with Roly, Misha and Ellie and generally Lexi will follow too.

Of course there are those times when your dog does a perfect recall or stop and there is no-one about to see it  

Would also add that most dog owners are quite understanding, but as with everything there is always the odd few that aren't.

[Karma]

Squeaky toy is a great one - we used one to get a recall away from livestock in the forest, as she just went deaf when she saw them... 
We squeaked, recalled and then rewarded with a couple of throws of the squeaky toy.... worked a treat!!! 

[Karma]

And don't take the "if you can't control your dog..." comment too much to heart.... I've had an owner of a Westie who Honey took a dislike to (and so launched at  ) tell me that such an aggressive dog as Honey shouldn't ever be left off lead.... Now I'll admit she shocked me with the way she went at this dog, but at the time I was holding her collar apologising and saying that she had never acted like that before (which was true.. she's been grumpy, but never launched like she did...) and he continued to stand there (with his dog  ) having a go.
It wasn't until the next day that I realised this was the same Westie who had bullied her when she was a pup...    We had met it on several occassions and it would run up (on an extendi lead) and chase her away.... I guess she was just getting in first...

You know you are working at Freddie's recall - if her dog is kept on lead, she probably hasn't even tried to train it (I know that's not true of all dogs who are on lead, but I see so many for whom it is the case - especially small dogs....).

[lindseyp]

massive sheepcheeks     
 Bet you've felt like that with the kids sometimes too haven't you?...... well no difference really - some days things get to you & others we cope better. Don't beat yourself up hun- it sounds like you really are doing well by your Freddie & remember, he's only a baby still 
If you can, please hang in there - in time, I bet you'll have a cracking little dog who'll be a pleasure to be with & you'll be proud to say he's yours (& then your kids can go whistle cos you did all the work  )
Onwards & upwards & I think you're more than 'up to the job'!!!!.
Deep breath, big cuddles with Freddie & a bottle of wine should do the trick 
 

[fionad]

As the owner of two tiny dogs, I too have to pick them up occasionally for their own safety. I fully understand that other dogs get excited and interested in my two fluffies but I have to protect them against injury. Their bodies are not as robust as a spaniel. That does not mean I do not like cockers, it's just I have to look after my own dogs. They regularly meet up with my daughters cockers, Rio and Roxy but even then they have to be carefully supervised.

I am sure you will get a good recall for your dog. Make yourself more rewarding than any other distraction and never get cross with him even though he might embarrass you at times, they all do!  My little Zara took herself off up the lane last week and decided to stand four square and bark her head off at a man with a "pit bull" type dog. It could have eaten her for a snack and the poor man had a hell of a job hanging on to it so I had to apologise profusely