Offering A Cocker A Home!

[wahm]

We have a lovely rescue Cocker called Barley,10 months.
He is in love with me and to cut a long story short~our vet has recommended a companion for him!.
We are looking for a male or female over 12 months please/no age max.
Colour and papers are unimportant.
We also own 2 cats and have 3 children aged 10/9/2.
Barley is registered with a lovely vet and is fully insured/innoculated.
We would also neuter if it hasn't already been done.
I work from home and someone would be home at least 23 hours a day.
We live in West Yorkshire so would prefer to stay within Yorkshire please as i am not too confident driving out of this region!(women,i know!!!! )
Thanks for reading this,
Sue x

[Annette]

Have you looked at dog pages? They seem to have lots of dogs needing a home, and often have cockers.

[Luvly]

x

[Pammy]

why has your vet recomended you get another?

Barley is still very young and I would strongly recommend against getting another at this stage. Especially a Rescue one as that could really upset the applecart as far as Barley is concerned.

If you are having any problems with Barley - getting another dog won't solve them - you need to address the problems firstthen think about another if that's what you want. Rarely does an addition solve problems - it usually causes more.

[wahm]

Our vet said that an older influence on Barley would be good for him as he craves companionship.
He is obsessed with me and is over reliant on me.The vet said that he should transfer his offections onto a companion dog.
When we go to the park he is desperate to play with the other dogs and he pesters my sisters dog to death!.Unfortunatley my sisters dog isn't very sociable and just growls at him in disgust!.

The dogs on the rescue frums are too far down south for me to travel.I have panic attacks when i'm in stressful situations so tend not to go outside of the areas that i know.

[Pammy]

Our vet said that an older influence on Barley would be good for him as he craves companionship.
He is obsessed with me and is over reliant on me.The vet said that he should transfer his offections onto a companion dog.

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But what if he doesn't?

I think you need to handle his dependance on you by training - show him that he does not need you all the time. Don't be afraid to put him in another room and leave him there while you are somewhere else in the house. If he can get at stuff he can damage think about using a crate or a stair gate.

There is no guarantee that the presence of an older dog will make any difference whatsoever - it could make things worse as Barley then has competition for your affection . I know - I see this with my boys all the time.  My older boy was great with other dogs - loved them - but when one was living in his home that was a different kettle of fish. At times it's no fun at all and is very stressful.

Before committing yourself to another - have you though about fostering? At least you could check if it was more likely to work than take such a big gamble.

You may also need to think beyond Cocker Spaniels.

hth

[padfoot]

Pammy raises some good points. I got Ollie when Toby was one, thinking that it would be good for Toby to have a playmate because our girl dogs aren't playful (they are both much older than Toby). Unfortunately, what began as a playful relationship turned into constant fighting and rivalry which has got so bad that I have to rehome Ollie  
I would recommend that most people wait until the first dog is about 18 mths old or so, and I also think that often, opposite sex pairs make the best companions so you might want to consider a bitch as preference over another male.
My two cockers are so similar in status that it has created a heartbreaking situation. It's something we could never have foreseen. We have quite a lot of experience with dogs, including problem dogs, and Toby was a very sweet-natured and docile dog so it seemed ideal to go ahead. My two have brought out the worst in each other.
I think if you're dead set on getting another cocker now, the key is to find one with a different sort of temperament, preferably a bitch.

[wahm]

I think i will take a trip back to the vets and have a long chat.
I obviously want to do what is best for Barley.I don't want him to have to compete for my affections but i also need him to be happy with his own company.
I can't use a crate as he just soils it and he is quite destructive when out of my sight.
To be honest i am at a loss now with what to do.
When our vet mentioned getting another dog my first thought was no but the more i thought about it the more it made sense but that was before posting on here.

I wonder how many people just rush into these situations without a little help first?.I'm lucky to be a member of this forum!
Thankyou so much everyone,i'll keep you posted!

[PennyB]

I agree with all the above and with more training. I'd also maybe try out something like NILIF as he needs to become less dependent on you and you more in control of him.

I cocker I know that a friend rescued had intense separation anxiety regardless of his other cocker companion (he just wanted a human and not another dog).

Unfortunately its a popular misconception that dogs who have a form of SA will be helped by a canine companion (even among some vets who may never have had to live with a dog with SA). Its more about you training your dog to be less dependent on you and if a dog has a problem its best to work on that 1st before getting another dog.

As I explained in the post on dp I had a foster cocker who's owner had just died (that morning) and he was used to 24/7 attention but straight away I began using NILIF as I suspected he'd end up very quickly with SA in one form or other (when he arrived he attached himself to me as if there was an invisible string there between us). When he went to his forever home he was able to be at home while his new owner went to work without any problems from him.

It is common for many rescues to attach themselves to their owners regardless of how well or badly they were treated in their previous homes.

[wahm]

Thanks everyone for your help!.
I just need to clarify something though as i don't think i explained myself too well.
Barley is totally fine when i go out and when i go to bed.He stays in the kitchen with access to our cloakroom too and is very well behaved.
His destructructive side shows when i am home but have left him in another room/downstairs.
When i am at my computer he sits behind the chair and often gets run over if i turn around!!!!.
He is like a shadow,he follows me everywhere.If i turn around too sharply i trip over him but he doesn't demand petting.He is just happy to be near me.
When i do go out i generally take him with me as i don't go to many places where dogs aren't welcome.
I just wanted to sort that out as i'm sure many of you must think he destroys the house when i leave him etc.

[PennyB]

Thanks everyone for your help!.
I just need to clarify something though as i don't think i explained myself too well.
Barley is totally fine when i go out and when i go to bed.He stays in the kitchen with access to our cloakroom too and is very well behaved.
His destructructive side shows when i am home but have left him in another room/downstairs.
When i am at my computer he sits behind the chair and often gets run over if i turn around!!!!.
He is like a shadow,he follows me everywhere.If i turn around too sharply i trip over him but he doesn't demand petting.He is just happy to be near me.
When i do go out i generally take him with me as i don't go to many places where dogs aren't welcome.
I just wanted to sort that out as i'm sure many of you must think he destroys the house when i leave him etc.

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What you're describing is still a form of separation anxiety (it manifests itself in many ways some totally incomprehensible to us mere humans). Ruby did this at one point (but she would soil the house). I work from home and she would only play up (she kept weeing on the floor) when I went upstairs to work in the office, but never when I went out (it was as if she realised I'd gone out and that was that but if I was in the house then she felt she had to be attached to me). I solved it by not letting her follow me around like a shadow all the time when I was there and not fussing her when I went upstairs or came back downstairs.

Sometimes you have to practise stuff as well, such as going in and out the room and shutting the door behind you then coming back in again, then out again. May be give him a kong or something then go out the room but don't make going out the room or coming in a big deal.

[wahm]

What you're describing is still a form of separation anxiety (it manifests itself in many ways some totally incomprehensible to us mere humans). Ruby did this at one point (but she would soil the house). I work from home and would only play up (she kept weeing on the floor) when I went upstairs to work in the office, but never when I went out (it was as if she realised I'd gone out and that was that but if I was in the house then she felt she had to be attached to me). I solved it by not letting her follow me around like a shadow all the time when I was there and not fussing her when I went upstairs or came back downstairs.

Sometimes you have to practise stuff as well, such as going in and out the room and shutting the door behind you then coming back in again, then out again. May be give him a kong or something then go out the room but don't make going out the room or coming in a big deal.

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I will be putting your words of wisdom into immediate effect!.I have already practiced closing the door behind me so he can't "shadow" me!.
Thankyou!

[tiggerbabe]

Hi Sue!

Separation Anxiety - what a nightmare in two words!!  

Sophie suffered terribly from it when I first got her 3 months ago (she is 6yrs old).
I had to do relentless training everyday, going out for 2 mins, then 1 min, then 5 mins just randomly so the dog has no idea how long you are going to be away.  

Pick up keys when you are in the house, then put them down again - so that the dog does not associate the keys with you leaving.

There are all sorts of other things you can do - but it is hard work.  But, even though Sophie still panics when I am at work, she is no longer a velcro dog when I am at home.  In fact, she will come through to her bed (which is in my room), but during the night sometimes disappears through to the living room where her crate is to have a snooze - by herself!!  Something that I would never have thought possible at the beginning when I honestly thought that Sophie was going to give herself heart failure or something as she was so worked up everytime I left the house.    

I would recommend getting a DAP diffuser or spray from your vet though, just as an aid while you are training.  

Feel free to PM me if you want any more info or a chat - SA Cocker mothers unite!!  

[correna]

Bailey is the same, wherever i go he goes..... i have tried the leaving him in another room and he just whines which is fine, if I leave him with my partner or the children he whines and moans til i get back and it's like I have been gone  a week, when he is around other dogs he is fine, he just wants to play... keeping an eye on me tho!!

I am hopefully getting a pup soo he is only 4 days old at the mo, but am worried now having read some of the replies about Bailey being more jealous and also getting a male and not a female....... HELP!!  

[wahm]

Bailey is the same, wherever i go he goes..... i have tried the leaving him in another room and he just whines which is fine, if I leave him with my partner or the children he whines and moans til i get back and it's like I have been gone  a week, when he is around other dogs he is fine, he just wants to play... keeping an eye on me tho!!

I am hopefully getting a pup soo he is only 4 days old at the mo, but am worried now having read some of the replies about Bailey being more jealous and also getting a male and not a female....... HELP!!  

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Barley is starting obedience training on Thursday so we may overcome some of our problems,
Will let you know how it goes!.
Sue
P.s. We are in talks with a lovely couple who need to rehome their Cocker so keep your fingers crossed!