Do I accept behaviour others would not?

[kb]

Sometimes when I read posts on here, I start to panic a little. A lot of people seem horrified thattheir dogs growl at them, or snap from time to time. This got me to thinking that maybe I accept as natural, behaviour that I should not.

Honey is a very vocal and generally "grumbly" dog - and I have just tolerated and worked with it. During the day she is very active but usually seeks out a quiet place to sleep when she is tired. In the evenings, after her walk she lies down and doesn't much like to be disturbed. If anyone were to approach her atthese times, she wuld kind of give a low growl and "dirty look" as if to say back off, I am having quiet time. I accept it as that. Were she lying somewhere incovenient where she needed to be moved (most likely on top of you ), and you have to move her she grumbles and growls for all that - but its at being moved, not at me.

If she has a bone, she takes it off somewhere quiet and grumbles at anyone who passes within 6ft of her - we just ignore her now - she doesn't snap. Occasionally I will go up and take it off her - while she still gives a throaty growl and give it back again - the whole time the growl stays at a throaty protest and never gets any worse.

If the kids sometimes push their luck with her - like really push their luck - she growls a warning - and they know they have gone too far (thankfully this doesn't happen that much anymore as everyone now knows each other). But again I accept that as her warning and have taught the kids to recognise that - they are never alone with her and I have to say this happens rarely.

When I bring the shopping home, she guards it - particularly f she sniffs out some chews for her. We ignore her and unpack it as quickly as possible. She used to get a chew from the bag, but realising this was reenforcing the guarding, she now gets it after everything is put away and she has wandered off because she has lost interest.

Occasionally we still get the odd snap, is someone does something she really doesn't like - mostly me, grooming her ears .

On Christmas Day she was very grumbly with all strangers in the house - but I put it down to a packed house, a m-i-l who kept poking at her and loads of food about all over the place.

Am I too accepting of bad behaviour from a grumpy dog ?

[lillyella28]

Hello Kb,
I f you feel like you can cope with it then it is your choice, however some of the guarding sort of behaviour i would watch and put her in her place as it is your house and she should abide by your rules I would not give the bone back if she is growling maybe this is givig her the wrong message.
Cleo is my first dog so I am not an expert but if i dont want her to do something i let her know her boundaries.
Good luck KB, you seem to learn a lot by read thing on this site so stick with it. 

[silkstocking]

KB you do what you do, the same way we all bring children up differently, we all bring our dogs up differently, some are allowed on sofas some are not, some sleep on their owners beds at bed, some don't, we all accept dfifferent levels.

How can your way be the wrong way if it works for you? unless iots detremental to your dog, which it isn't!

Granted some of us might not accept the behaviours you are describing, but then thats just because we different ways of thinking about things and dealing with things. So long as our dogs are happy at the end of the day and that they are not a danger to anyone that is the main thing. Its like you say you accept her as she is and work with it appropriatley

[Jan/Billy]

I've gone over this very same question in my head a thousand times about Billy. Usually after someone has given me a smart comment and it's eaten away at me  

Billy grumbles and growls, not that often but in certain scenarios. This is something I discussed at lenght with the behaviourist last week. She said Billy's growling behaviour isn't that he's a bad dog, it's a learned behaviour, he's learned that when he's not comfortable with something , if he lets out a growl then it goes away. So it's only natural that he's carried on using this technique.

We're now working on making him comfortable with the scenarios that he ususally doesn't feel comfortable with - ie visitors.

When you say your kids push him too far, what do you mean? in what way?

[supaspaniel]

KB you do what you do, the same way we all bring children up differently, we all bring our dogs up differently, some are allowed on sofas some are not, some sleep on their owners beds at bed, some don't, we all accept dfifferent levels.

How can your way be the wrong way if it works for you? unless iots detremental to your dog, which it isn't!

Granted some of us might not accept the behaviours you are describing, but then thats just because we different ways of thinking about things and dealing with things. So long as our dogs are happy at the end of the day and that they are not a danger to anyone that is the main thing. Its like you say you accept her as she is and work with it appropriatley

I agree advice is great, but sometimes you just have to go with what works for you and your dog regardless of what anyone else says you should do.

It sounds like you've stopped the guarding the shopping in the right way, you've told the kids not to disturb her sleeping time. I personally have told my dogs 'no' if they've growled at me, but it was as pups, I cant say they have done it as adult dogs. My boys are far from perfect, they each have traits that someone else on here probably wouldn't tolerate, but compared to some behaviour I have seen at training clases and out and about they really aren't bad lads at all

[Jan/Billy]

I would not give the bone back if she is growling maybe this is givig her the wrong message.

She's growling because she fears you are gonna take her bone away, by doing so you are reinforcing her fears and she's very likely to guard it even more the next time and so on and so on.

I'm not sure about taking it away and giving it back, maybe someone else can advise on that??

I'd never attempt to remove a bone from Billy, but I don't feed them in the first place ( Just my way   )

[*Jay*]

My Brook was quite a "temperamental" boy so I put up with quite a lot from him. He was actually a biter but I learnt to read him very well so knew when to leave him be. I know lots of people (my own family included!!) couldn't have lived like that - sometimes in the early days, it did feel like walking on eggshellls incase you upset the dog - but I loved that dog more than anything in the world so I put up with it. Some of his rather unsavoury behaviours, such as food gurading, I was able to sort out but if I needed to do anything to him, such as ear cleaning, he would need to be muzzled or he would have had you.......literally   He 'only' bit me 3 times in almost 12 years, and if you knew Brook, you would know that was one hell of an achievement   He hated children so couldn't be around them (with adults he didn't like, he would growl and shy away but children would just get a straight snap with no warning), didn't particularly like other dogs but that did get better as he got older to the point that he was able to share his house with 2 puppies quite happily.

[sarah25]

None of ours growl at us when walking past them whilst there eating or if we need to take somethink of them,its a thing people need to train "give"when there pups ,when we do take somethink of them we swap it for one of there fav toys

[supaspaniel]

I would not give the bone back if she is growling maybe this is givig her the wrong message.

She's growling because she fears you are gonna take her bone away, by doing so you are reinforcing her fears and she's very likely to guard it even more the next time and so on and so on.

I'm not sure about taking it away and giving it back, maybe someone else can advise on that??

I'd never attempt to remove a bone from Billy, but I don't feed them in the first place ( Just my way   )

I ask for bones or hide chews back and then give them back after a few seconds and telling them what a great treat they have, it does help prevent possessiveness and guarding as they learn that they will get it back 

[Top Barks]

All my three are different and my old boy Ollie is just the same as honey.
You have to be clever with a dog like this, you have to make them want to move or give up something and the way i do it is to try and have something else they might want.
I manage Ollie's behaviour these days and play him at his own game by always holding the ace card.
Ollie will do anything for a pigs ear and i mean anything.
I have stood up to him and growled and confronted him and been bitten by him for my sins, but this was before i started to learn about canine behaviour and communication and i would now never be so foolish again.
I accept Ollies behaviour as being a grump and have learned to live with it, so it is a joy to see him wagging his tail these days and having fun.
In the past I have been guilty of ignorance where he is concerned and he now has the mental scars of our confrontations with him forever.
I wish I could turn the clock back and done things differently with him as I have done with Douglas and Bayley  but we are seeing a different Oliver these days thanks to patience training and understanding.
I think however he will still have his grumpy streak which is motivated by fear running through him but then he's my main man and I wouldn't have him any other way.
He also give the best cocker cuddles of all my boys

[kb]

Jan -  usually hugging her or lying over her  - but just too long or too tight - she will tolerate a hug for a short time, but doesn't always want to be hugged when they want to hug. The youngest is still only 5 and still needs reminding that dogs need their space too. Part of the problem I have to say too is that both my kids have sensory problems and have difficulty modulating how forceful their touch is - so we have to be careful, because their touch is often more than they think

Sometimes the little one will run about screaming and inevitably Honey will chase - the kids because of their sensory difficulties have difficulty modualting their behaviour and noise level - Honey joins in the game, but being a dog can't modulate her behaviour either - and barks and occasionally nips heels - so I am constantly balancing fun with the dog and naughty behaviour. I do try to give them a game to play with her - like chasing a ball, or some little bits of training, to promote positive interaction.

The kids just want to be all over her, but she's not that kind of dog.

[jann]

KB you do what you do, the same way we all bring children up differently, we all bring our dogs up differently, some are allowed on sofas some are not, some sleep on their owners beds at bed, some don't, we all accept dfifferent levels.

How can your way be the wrong way if it works for you? unless iots detremental to your dog, which it isn't!

Granted some of us might not accept the behaviours you are describing, but then thats just because we different ways of thinking about things and dealing with things. So long as our dogs are happy at the end of the day and that they are not a danger to anyone that is the main thing. Its like you say you accept her as she is and work with it appropriatley

Very well put Lisa, and I agree, I think if what you and your dog do fits in with your life and it works for you and is not a problem for anyone else , that is fine, but I do know what kb means, but I think there can be  danger particularly for new dog owners in becoming too obsessed with 'training' for trainings sake and missing out on the fun of having a dog.

[Jan/Billy]

but I learnt to read him very well so knew when to leave him be.

It's the same with me and Billy, I can see when he's starting to feel uncomfortable. His movements slow right down, his eyes widen and I've also noticed that he starts moving his mouth as though he's tasting something, and sometimes even licking his lips.

[kb]

You see the hardest thing is that asides from all this she is the single most loving dog I have ever met. She is soooo affectionate, and so tuned in to your emotions - she is adorable - but she is also very grumpy. In a funny kind of way it is very endearing . She doesn't food guard generally - just something special like a bone - she never snaps and gives it up quite freely - even when she is growling she is wagging her tail, so I interpret it as anxiety rather than aggression - which is why I tend to ignore her. I take it off her and give it back to try and make her undestand that nothing bad is going to happen by me removing it from her.

I think anxiety is generally her problem rather than aggression - which I suppose inmany ways is as hard, if not harder to deal with.

[Jan/Billy]

You see the hardest thing is that asides from all this she is the single most loving dog I have ever met. She is soooo affectionate, and so tuned in to your emotions - she is adorable - but she is also very grumpy. In a funny kind of way it is very endearing . She doesn't food guard generally - just something special like a bone - she never snaps and gives it up quite freely - even when she is growling she is wagging her tail, so I interpret it as anxiety rather than aggression - which is why I tend to ignore her. I take it off her and give it back to try and make her undestand that nothing bad is going to happen by me removing it from her.

I think anxiety is generally her problem rather than aggression - which I suppose inmany ways is as hard, if not harder to deal with.

Aw