HELP PLEASE. Desperate plea for advice / reassurance...

[carly_cl]

I'm seeking desperate advice hopefully from experienced dog owners. We have a golden show cocker spaniel that we bought from a one off family breeder. When he who as a puppy we did have agression / posession issues with him but thought he would grow out of it. Over the 4 years we have had him he has been incredibly terratorial, going for anyone who comes into our house that he doesnt know. We paid 400£ to get a behaviourist lifetime support contract. She did show is techniques which help us to manage him but we are still on edge with him. We have a little boy 2.5 now and he adores the dog, Oscar and vice versa. There have been various incidents where Oscar has attacked without been provoked, about 3 weeks ago he bit my brother he has also bitten another family member. Things were doing ok up until the weekend where my OH was stroking him on the sofa and I watched the change, his eyes glazed over and he just went into attack. My OH managed to defend himself and Oscar ran in his bed. We shut the gate on the kitchen but he continued to lunge and attack us both, I dread to think if the gate wasnt there! The following morning it was like nothing had hapened. Again, Tue night exactly the same he attacked us both but wed morning he was fine for 5 minutes and then went for me. I couldnt go in the kitchen all day. We last night made the agonising decision that he has to go, we have booked him in at the vets to get him checked over but after that we are hoping to take him to the dogs trust. 95% of the time he is the perfect dog, and we adore him but we can no longer take the risk with having a boistrous toddler. Please tell me Im doing the right thing? has anyone ever experienced this? Experiences of rehoming an aggressive dog? I absolutely am heartbroken and have cried all night and day. If there was anyother way I would do it. Thanyou in advance for any replies, and Im sorry for the long rambling desperate post. Heartbroken Carly x

[ollie nathan's mum]

Hi Carly others might disagree with me but I think you are doing the right thing. As a nurse I have seen the consequences of dog attacks on children including a death. If your dog is fit and healthy and there is no physical cause for your dogs behavioural then it is a problem that is not going to be fixed in the immediate future. Sorry if this is unhelpful but you must put the welfare of your child first.

[bentley1984]

Hi carly..no experience in this and not an expert..but just go with your head not your heart if you feel you've done everything you can then don't fret this is the last resort and atleast you will know your family are safe xx

[black taz]

It must have been a very difficult decision for you to make, but given that you have a toddler i think I would have done the same.  

What sort of techniques did the behaviourist give you, if he/she has been giving you advise for 4 years and the situation hasnt improved then i suspect he/she is not the right behavourist for you and Oscar.  Was it just telephone support or did he/she actually visit and see the behaviour?

I guess it will be very difficult to rehome an aggresive dog, but hopefully the right person will come along for him that can help him and in the meantime a rescue centre can help him as well.  

Don't beat yourself up, your decision is for the right reason.  

[Emilyoliver]

I have no experience of this, but think you have made the right choice for your family and circumstances. Don't be too hard on yourself. As has been posted on another thread, just please be totally honest with the rescue organisation about the scale of the problem and reason for rehoming. Pass on any reports to them if you have any. That way they can assess him properly and make sure the best home for him is found. All the best, you must be heartbroken. 

[bentley1984]

Definitely don't beat yourself up xoxo

[mlynnf50]

I for one think you have deffinately made the right decision, you certainly can't risk your child being attacked or the family for that matter.  Please don't beat yourself up.

[carly_cl]

Thanks so much, your posts are all helpful. Ollie Nathans mum, I really am grateful for your reassurance, that is why we are doing it we just cant take the risk as much as we love him. The behaviourist is from Bark busters and she gave us lots of activitie such as training on the lead, using a 'bah' technique when visitors come round but it just doesnt work. If a visitor comes in our house they will be attacked (unless Oscar knows them) which has pretty much resulted in us avoiding anyone coming into our house other than select friends and family. This alone would be a nightmare as our son grows and wants to bring friends to the house. The behaviourist has come to our house numerous times but it always reverts back. There are also huge posession issues which are unpredictable, you can take something from him one minute and he would go wild the next. He sounds like a demon dog and when he goes he really goes but our nights are spent with him being cuddly and playful which is what makes this the hardest thing I have ever done. We could try another behaviourist but how much more time and money do we put into him whilst taking a big risk with our son. Really I dont think he would go for my little boy but he just sees red and for that I just cant risk it. C X

[ollie nathan's mum]

No you can't risk it, my advise would be to contact as rescue centre ASAP, not only for the risks involved but also for yourself, the longer he stays with you the harder it will be for you to deal with. Take Care it sounds as though you have done all you can. 

[flower1]

My auntie had a beautiful black and tan cocker, Dylan, who was very much the same. He was from a home that had terriers which could explain some of his dominance issues over her other cocker, a lovely submissive black dog, Ben, he was great most of the time but he could turn into another dog, ready to kill. Unfortunately, whilst during one of these episodes, he was travelling in the car and attacked Ben. My auntie had to stop the car to stop him but he jumped out and got knocked down. As a family we have had a lot of cockers and never known any to be anything less than loving apart from Dylan. We were devastated to lose him but I don't think we could have kept him. You are doing the right thing. You need to know your family is safe, and that Oscar is to.

[Maria n Dennis]

If you feel that rehoming him is your only option then that is what you have to do. But if it was my dog there is things I would try first. I think he needs to be checked over by the vet have full bloods done. When he bit your brother , other family member and the issue on the sofa was he touched in any particular place , it could be that he is in pain? Or it could be some sort of hormonal inbalance that might be able to be managed with medication? If you have had him 4 years and the attacks have only just started happening I would want to rule out it being a medical problem first. I know you said he has guarding possession issues the two may not be related.
Have you considered a crate as a safe place for him , somewhere you can put him when visitors are around? And it would also be a good place to separate him from your son. I would also be looking for advice from members on here about a good behaviourist in your area?
If you decide that rehoming him is the only option ask on here for advice regarding a good rescue.

[Jane S]

The behaviourist is from Bark busters and she gave us lots of activitie such as training on the lead, using a 'bah' technique when visitors come round but it just doesnt work.

No sadly it wouldn't - sadly this franchise is not generally recommended if you want expert advice as their "trainers" often have v little experience and only v basic training - they have a tendency to recommend exactly the same aversive techniques for every problem presented to them whatever the cause but charge huge amounts for the privilege. If you wanted recommendations for good behaviourists, someone may be able to help but suspect from your post that you have already made your decision and you have to do what is right for you and your family. Unfortunately a lot of rescues will not take aggressive dogs because they are not easy to home - if you come up against this, please send a message to our Rescue Moderator, Penny B, who may be able to give you contacts for rescues who do work with difficult dogs.

[JennyBee]

Thanks so much, your posts are all helpful. Ollie Nathans mum, I really am grateful for your reassurance, that is why we are doing it we just cant take the risk as much as we love him. The behaviourist is from Bark busters and she gave us lots of activitie such as training on the lead, using a 'bah' technique when visitors come round but it just doesnt work. If a visitor comes in our house they will be attacked (unless Oscar knows them) which has pretty much resulted in us avoiding anyone coming into our house other than select friends and family. This alone would be a nightmare as our son grows and wants to bring friends to the house. The behaviourist has come to our house numerous times but it always reverts back. There are also huge posession issues which are unpredictable, you can take something from him one minute and he would go wild the next. He sounds like a demon dog and when he goes he really goes but our nights are spent with him being cuddly and playful which is what makes this the hardest thing I have ever done. We could try another behaviourist but how much more time and money do we put into him whilst taking a big risk with our son. Really I dont think he would go for my little boy but he just sees red and for that I just cant risk it. C X

Just a little question - did the behaviourist use positive methods or did he talk about him being dominant/top dog?

I have lived with an aggressive dog, and it is not easy. His behaviour sounds very similar to my Barney's. We couldn't trust him. At the time, there were no young children in the family and we 'managed' his behaviour, however, I think things would have went a whole different way if there had been children about. For me personally, it is too much of a risk... I would only question what advice you got from the behaviourist, as if he used aversives etc then it wouldn't have been in your dog's best interest, but even then if you had the option of getting a behaviourist in who does use positive methods I would still worry about the risk . I hope that makes sense. If you do feel you could work with his behaviour, there are many great behaviourists out there.

In the end, only you can decide - but whatever you do decide, it will be in the best interests of your family and your dog. So incredibly difficult, and knowing what you are going through, my heart breaks.

[Helen]

The behaviourist is from Bark busters and she gave us lots of activitie such as training on the lead, using a 'bah' technique when visitors come round but it just doesnt work.

No sadly it wouldn't - sadly this franchise is not generally recommended if you want expert advice as their "trainers" often have v little experience and only v basic training - they have a tendency to recommend exactly the same aversive techniques for every problem presented to them whatever the cause but charge huge amounts for the privilege. If you wanted recommendations for good behaviourists, someone may be able to help but suspect from your post that you have already made your decision and you have to do what is right for you and your family. Unfortunately a lot of rescues will not take aggressive dogs because they are not easy to home - if you come up against this, please send a message to our Rescue Moderator, Penny B, who may be able to give you contacts for rescues who do work with difficult dogs.

I agree wholeheartedly with Jane.

Sadly the methods you've been shown by this 'behaviourist' may have contributed to Oscar's problems rather than helped them 

Please contact Penny re re-homing Oscar.

[anneclarke]

carly please dont be upset when people say  that  some people should not be used i had same issues with a collie eventualy diognosed with rage by vets and had to be put to sleep i know exactly what its like when you pay out alot of money for training etc and  people are saying oh you shouldnt have gone with this 1 etc its not positive help and all it makes you feel is that you have failed and this realy isnt true you have done the best you can unfortunatly we dont all have access to these trainers etc and  sometimes we havent found sites like this for advice until it is to late realy feel for you big hugs anne