HELP PLEASE. Desperate plea for advice / reassurance...

[Joules]

If it were me, for the sake of an hour or so's drive, I would pop Oscar down to see Mark if he's available and willing to help because you sound totally devastated at the thought of letting him go. But don't think you have failed Carly if you decide to try to re-home Oscar - your little boy has to come first. BTW (this probably doesn't help) Oscar's gorgeous 

Me too - worth a go and you will at least feel you have done everything you could.    Mark will give you an honest assessment too

[carly_cl]

Just to update all you lovely people. Ive had another near perfect day with Oscar. Just had one uneasy moment when I walked over the landing and he was sat on the stairs. We had a phonecall from a family member who had mentioned to a friend Oscar was going. The friend then phoned later and said that him and his wife would happily take Oscar, issues too. He is a lovely guy, in a great home and he has met Oscar (where he did go for him but soon came round). The issues have been fully explained and he wants to put in  the effort in and persevere with him. I feel a little bit of relief but at the same time I feel sick to the stomach and should we be giving him another chance?! But then I think of his best friend, our little boy and as much as they adore each other, when he sees red he really sees it. Today he has been licking my guinea pigs and rabbit and been an absolute joy its hard to believe that its the same dog. My other half 100% thinks its for the best (and I NEVER thought that would be the case as he has often defended and played down his issues),  but I just keep getting myself in a state over it. Ive just read through some of the other threads in the behaviour section and there have been some similar scenarios. ARRRGGGHHH! Stressed C x

[carly_cl]

If it were me, for the sake of an hour or so's drive, I would pop Oscar down to see Mark if he's available and willing to help because you sound totally devastated at the thought of letting him go. But don't think you have failed Carly if you decide to try to re-home Oscar - your little boy has to come first. BTW (this probably doesn't help) Oscar's gorgeous 

Yes he is gorgeous, absolutely beautiful which makes it even harder. Ive posted a long rambling update, what do you think I should do now I'm faced with this option? x

[bentley1984]

I think the way you've felt you should let your friend have him..you've obviously been in a bad state last week or so..I understand when he's good he's really good but think that's the best day for him to go and have good memories rather than him have a bad day and him do something and he leaves on a bad memories its brilliant that he'll go to someone you know and who is willing to walk with him(not that you haven't or aren't but I'm assuming he hasn't got children) xx

[bentley1984]

Ment to say work with him xx

[carly_cl]

No he has one grown up son going to university so sounds like they want something to focus on. They are home most of the time and want to spend the time walking and training him etc. I do think it is the best outcome but it is literally going to break my heart, I dont know if ill get over it x

[carly_cl]

If I didnt have my little boy, growing and becoming more boistrous by the day then I wouldnt hesitate to keep trying with him x

[bentley1984]

It is going to be hard one of the hardest decisions you've ever made probably..but it is the best outcome you could of ever wished for xx

[anneclarke]

carly you will get over it in time if you decide this is best for you. you have done your best that you could possibly do you might not feel that at the mo but you will in time.as somebody else said these are the nice memories that you have at the moment it is all very positive but does oscar normally calm down and then go into the other frame of mind again.its this that you will have to think about if you decide that you cant let him go.on the plus side how brilliant to have a friend that is willing and able to put the time and effort in and im certainly not saying you haven't you have but you have a young son if he went to your friend at least you know where he is and hows he doing if he went somewhere else you might never now  big hugs carly

[ollie nathan's mum]

It sounds as though your Friends can offer him a good home, at least this way you can still see him. Good luck.

[dipsydoodlenoodle]

I'm pleased you have found a solution that is not the end for him. You know we are all here if you want to talk about it (if he goes to your friends .

[carly_cl]

Thanks again for all your support through this horrific time. Oscar has been wonderful all weekend, things feel a bit more normal again with him now. Whats horrid is Ive sat lots of today and watched old videos and pics of our gorgeous boy (silly i know) but I just adore him. What am I going to do? Can we go forward taking this risk? Can I ever have a normal home life, more so can my little boy have his little friends round without the threat of aggression from Oscar?! Arggh! I keep waking up in the night, heart beating fast and panicing about whats going to happen. I think its obvious that this dog means so much to me. C x

[black taz]

Try to look at it from Oscar's view.  He obviously has some issues that makes him the way he is, perhaps rehoming him would give him a fresh start, especially if the new owners want to help him (please don't think for a minute that I don't think you do, that certainly isnt the case). 

To be honest, in your situation with your young boy, i would be considering exactly the same - it takes only seconds, and if you are all on edge the whole time, then Oscar is going to be as well.

You know the couple who are willing to take him, so you can keep in touch, and if it doesnt work out with them you can always try again.

I know that it isnt much consolation, but it will give the couple something to focus on now their son is going to University.  They can join COL for support as well.

Don't disappear from COL, and one day the right dog will pop along for your family x

[ladylola]

Without knowing the reasons that make Oscar like he is is, I can,t see how you can put it right.
You will always worry he is going to turn. He may never go for your child, but you just don't know.
My Louie is great with my grandkids, Adults were his problem.
If you keep him maybe get a crate to put him when your sons friends are around. I would still recommend a good behaviourist, even if your friend does take him. So they can start on the right foot with him.
So difficult for you I know. He is obviously much loved.

[carly_cl]

Black Taz, your post makes so much sense. I know your right but I just dont know if I can give him up. If you could see my little boy and Oscar together you wouldnt believe I was talking about the same dog. I know its for the best and I am so thankful we have a good home for him but I just cant make the committment to say he is definately going. Here I am sat blubbling again, an absolute wreck at the minute. I bet youre all sick of me waffling on!! x