Sorry this is going to be a long post but I am really struggling and hoping for your thoughts or at least by writing it down it will help me to have a clearer picture of the situation.
Just wondering if anyone has been through anything similar with their oldies.
We are really struggling with Ben (just turned 14), he made a good physical recovery from the vestibular episode and is now back up on his feet and as physically fit as he was before.
He still walks most days for a good hour at Chatsworth he is eating and sleeping well. He does have accidents in the house maybe once a day, we take him out every hour or so like a puppy but sometimes he won't go then has an accident within 5 mins of being back in the house! However we never make a fuss and to be honest he really doesn't seem to be bothered or distressed by it.
The problem is his dementia has got worse since the vestibular, he is not safe to be left at all - and I mean 5-10 mins is the max so just enough time to nip upstairs to he loo!! He is on the move all the time walking round and wandering and just gets himself in a complete pickle. He does things like go behind the TV and get tangled in the cables, goes under the chairs then gets wedged and starts to panic. He will walk up to Harry and just stare at him or tread on him if he is lying down when means Harry retaliates goes for Ben. We have moved as much furniture as possible and used foam cushions to try to prevent him going places where he could get hurt, but because physically he is so well he just climbs over barriers or tunnels underneath. He also finds new ways to get stuck every day in places we never even thought of. OH has not worked for a month because we just can't leave him at all. We have bought an enclosed soft pen, but he doesn't like it and I doesn't want him to be distressed.
So I have a huge problem, he is well in himself and actually I would argue he still has a good quality of life as long as we are with him. He is happy in his own little world pottering around, and he will cuddle up for ages, snuggle in and seems to be 'happy' for want of a better word. He shows enthusiasm for going out on his walk, not like he used to but enough to say he is still wanting to go out and his is getting something from it.
He is already on Activait and Vivitonin to try to help with the dementia and I am at a loss as to what to do now
When my mum's dogs have got elderly it has become clear when they have had enough as they have either been unwell e.g. kidney failure or just 'gone off their legs' as they say and it was clear that they have poor quality of life. I have seen people oh here write things like you know when its time or better a day too soon than a day to late'
but the problem is I
really don't know. He seems much to well to say he has had enough but that is only with our 24 hour support. If we said now is the time I know in my heart I would always feel it is too soon, he is not ready. But equally I am scared of leaving it too late and him getting hurt because of the scrapes he gets into, I don't want his last days to be in pain.
Sorry again for the long post, I know over the years lots of you have had to say goodbye to your cockers, this is my first time and I just never imagined it to be like this, I just assumed I would know what Ben needed and what the right choices were for him.