Neutering - Our Dilemma

[Miss Poohs]

Well I knew it would happen someday, and now I think a decision really has to be made.

For a while now Ruffy has displayed some very aggressive behaviour to other male dogs, once he gets a sniff that they are entire, as he is, he just goes in for the kill.

Today he went for a lovely wee Springer puppy (7 months). I saw the wee thing run up to him, but I just wasn't quick enough to nab him before he went for it. I feel really badly about it, the wee pup was OK, but he was traumatised, so that's not the point, to my mind the damage is done.

I've wanted to get him neutered for over a year now, but Pete has refused point blank to discuss it with me, saying under no circumstances will he allow him to be neutered.

Now I'm left with the options of

1. Taking him out and keeping him on a lead, which I know he'll hate.
2. Taking him out, letting him run off the lead but muzzled, which I'm not happy about either. I worry that if he gets attacked he can't defend himself.
3. Getting him neutered, whether Pete agrees or not.

I've already spoken with the vet and she thinks the only way forward is to have him neutered, but she suggested if we do decide to take to get him done ASAP as he's almost two and a half.

I'm just so torn over what to do for the best.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[Joules]

Who is taking him out most of the time?  If it is you, then I would say you are in a better position to say whether Ruffy would be happier if he were done or carries on as he is with all the problems you describe! 

What is Pete's reason for refusing to get him done anyway?  You seem to have some pretty convincing arguments for so in my opinion he needs to have some even stronger ones against! 

Good luck - it is a tricky one! 

[cazza]

 
I think you need to ask Pete why he doesn't want him done and say 'fine you walk him all the time then' wonder how long it'll be before Pete changes his mind, not long I expect

Good luck hope things work out for the best, I can totally understand why you don't want to keep Ruffy on the lead or muzzled

[Miss Poohs]

The only reason as far as I can see is  - it's a man thing - as plain as that

I have to take the dogs out each day as Pete works shifts, although he does give them good long walks too, but it doesn't matter who he's with he'll still go for male dogs whether he's with Pete or me.

I feel bad for Ruffy because he's such a friendly wee soul with people, he never tries to mount Vahri either - having said that we met Freya's Dobbie recently (who has been neutered) and Ruffy was permanently stuck to his back!!!

Edited to correct my appauling spelling 

[Joules]

If it's just a man thing then that is not a good enough reason!    I just do not get it - this seems to be quite common.    Just reassure Pete that it is only Ruffy who will have his bits off - Pete can still keep his - as long as he behaves in the park that is! 

[Miss Poohs]

Funny enough Joules that's where me and Pete met - the park - perhaps that's where I went wrong!!!! 

[Cob-Web]

It might be worth getting Ruffy a behaviourist appointment, so that a qualified third party can confirm to your OH that neutering would solve the problem, and also emphasis the risk of the the current behaviour to Ruffy and whoever walks him 

If Pete still refuses to consider it, then I would go ahead with a clear conscience; I have known others who have done it, and their marriage survived 

[Elisa]

Has Pete been with you at the vets when he has recommended neutering?

I'm not in your position, but I think if it was me, I would just get it done    Next time could be even worse, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself. 

I just don't get this "men and fear of neutering" business at all 

Good luck with whatever you decide.   

[shonajoy]

Maybe Penel or someone more experienced will advis, but I'd be thinking behaviourist rather than nutering - isn't neutring of questionable value in thes sorts of cases? Im sure I read that somewhere.

There's a fabulous behaviourist Vivien Silverstein who is SO helpful, she's brilliant and ADPDT certified. www.livewithyourdog.co.uk

[*Jay*]

When I was agonising (and yes, it was agony for me!!) over whether to get Disney done, I was reading a booklet on castration and it did say that it would most certainly help with cases of male to male aggression. Might be worth getting confirmation from a behavourist though

[Miss Poohs]

Thanks guys.

I spoke to the behaviourist at our practise a while ago about this, and she said that it was something that defo needed watching. She said that it was likely neutering would help, but that we would have to deal with quickly before it became learned behaviour.

She's OK, but I did wonder how much of what she said was angled towards earning money for the practise - yes I'm a cyincal ol' biddy gettin'.

Looking likely that the wee guy is needing his bits removed though 

[*jean*]

poor you.  men are funny about these things. thinking of you, and cocker xx's to your 2.
 you will have to have a think.  if I was honest id say,if it was rolo, I think Id have him done if he was acting like this.

[Penel]

I think I would have him done if he were mine.  Removing the testosterone will make him easier to manage - he isn't nervous is he - this isn't coming from fear aggression.  If it were, he wouldn't be coming forward to"get" other dogs, he'd be hiding behind you and only responding when pushed ....
Sorry Pete - they're coming off !!!

[debbie321]

If your other half is worried about Ruffy's looks then get him to stump up for falsies    There was a recent post about them - all shapes and sizes   

[Miss Poohs]

Ohhh yes - "neuticles"  I watched something about it on TV too - I mean is Rufus really going to care, seems it concern Pete more.

Penel - Ruffy defo isn't nervous - this is the only aspect of his personality that concerns me - he is such an outgoing happy wee chap.

He loves people and adores children, he's never ever given me any reason to doubt his nature there - it's just male dogs, put it like this, if he were a human he'd be driving about in a flashy red car (sorry yo anyone who has a flashy red sports car). 

Family meeting tomorrow me thinks.