Author Topic: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem  (Read 2658 times)

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Offline Lucy and Denzel

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Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« on: January 05, 2021, 11:01:17 PM »
Apologies for starting yet another thread on this old problem but it is actually getting worse!
We’ve had 4yr old Harley just 7 weeks since mid Nov and he’s always been a very upset when we have to leave him. We’re both working shifts in the NHS and work our hours around the dog, normally our days will clash just one day a week but occasionally it’ll be 2 days. On those days we’ve a dog walker mid morning come in and I’m always home for lunch so he’s alone for a max of 3hrs, if that.

I’ll hear him crying as I near the house and upon opening the door I’ll find he’s pee’d and often had a no2. He’s also turned the kitchen upside down and once even destroyed his bed!

We’ll usually walk him before we leave even at stupid o’clock and leave him with a goodie filled Kong, chew or pigs ear but he’s just not interested in them.
We originally started to leave him a few minutes then going back in without making a fuss and building it up 15mins, 30mins but he’d still go into a blind panic and often pee after just a few mins. There never seemed to be any improvement.

Apart from this he’s a wonderful dog but we’re running out of options and feel this is doing the little fella more harm than good as it looks like he’s actually getting worse. 

Offline theshrew

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2021, 02:04:51 AM »
Whats his background ?

Offline Lucy and Denzel

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2021, 09:36:33 AM »
His previous family, a mum and her two sons 7 & 9, he no previous signs of anxiety apparently.
Spoke to her last week and she said she used to leave him up to 3 hours with a few toys and the radio on when she went out. Weekdays she was able to take him to work with her but during the 1st lockdown she lost her job, she found another but had to leave Harley with an elderly relative during the day. I believe the relative was unable to give Harley much exercise if any.
So that’s the first big change of routine.
Six months later she makes the decision to rehome him because her elderly relative is unable to cope with a young ball obsessed spaniel and she knows it’s not fair on the poor dog.
The second big change, a new home.
We are home quite a bit, both part time and both shift workers, so it’s not often he’s left alone.
As said earlier we’re trying to get him used to us going out, closing the front door walking around the block for a few minutes then coming back or leaving him in a room and closing the door behind us to make a cuppa rather than him accompanying us to the kitchen but if we go out for any length of time i.e. shopping we’ll come home to mayhem. He trashed the kitchen earlier this week!!!
We both know this is going to take a looooong time but is there anything else we could be doing?

 

Offline caro

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2021, 11:49:40 PM »
Hi Lucy,

What does he do when you leave him downstairs for example and you are upstairs?  Our Sam is only 10 months and we’ve found him much more able to tolerate this now but he used to whine when left downstairs even for a short time.

We still haven’t left him at home more than an hour but I’ve been researching separation anxiety as our last dog had it and I don’t want to go through it again but with bring at home so much it’s always a worry.

Can you play games in the house such as sit and stay/wait then find it? Or just say wait and then go out the room with the door open and ask him to wait/stay then reward?  I was watching Cesar Milan just the other day and he said to build it up from that so it’s like a game or a challenge.

Harley does seem to be at the extreme end of the scale though and you might need a behaviourist to help. You could find the Facebook group set up by Julie Naismith but her methods can take years to work as it’s such tiny increments.

I’m so sorry you are going through this x
Caroline & Sam RIP Fern x RIP Charlie Cat x

Offline Lucy and Denzel

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2021, 10:29:17 PM »


Can you play games in the house such as sit and stay/wait then find it? Or just say wait and then go out the room with the door open and ask him to wait/stay then reward?  I was watching Cesar Milan just the other day and he said to build it up from that so it’s like a game

My other half has had to isolate this week as the Covid T&T app alerted her she’d been in contact with someone who’d tested positive (bit difficult not too in our business...) and working with Harley both indoors and the garden with games including wait/stay, go find and getting him used to spending time in his own company and becoming more independent. It seems to be working because when we let him out into the garden he’ll spend more time exploring and having a good sniff around when before he’d go out, have a wee and want to come straight back in.
It’s just unfortunate that she can’t pop out and leave him indoors because she’s not allowed out for 10 days.

Offline Lucy and Denzel

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #5 on: January 22, 2021, 08:46:37 PM »
Today was the only day this week we’re both working which meant Harley spent 3 hours home alone.
I came home to carnage! The kitchen was wrecked and he’d poo’d again, this is the 2nd time this week.
He’s getting worse and I worried about the state he’s getting himself into.

Offline rubyduby

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2021, 01:53:46 PM »
Is there any possibility of dropping him off with one of these doggy centres , where they take them in for days -1/2 days and they get to play with other dogs etc

Offline Lucy and Denzel

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #7 on: January 27, 2021, 10:00:25 PM »
We are now having a dog sitter come in, but after the latest disaster and what he did to our kitchen just yesterday we were seriously talking about giving up on him last night.
This is causing too much worry to my wife and I and we’re worried about how extremely stressed he’s getting!

Offline bizzylizzy

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2021, 07:45:07 AM »
I can completely understand  your stress, something that happened to poor little Denzel in his past must have done some something to cause this anxiety. I don’t know what your Covid restrictions involve at the moment but would it be possible to involve a good behaviourist/trainer who could help? Often they can spot something that can help pinpoint the cause and help find a solution. Possibly your vet could recommend someone to you.
Please consider that if you give up on him just now, his problem will go with him and is likely to get even worse as his sense of security diminishes, if he‘s unlucky he‘ll end up not finding a long term home at all.
I do hope you‘re able to get the advice you need and have fingers and paws crossed that he‘ll settle down soon! Best of luck!

Offline Lucy and Denzel

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2021, 09:38:05 PM »
We’re still in contact with his previous owner and she said he was never a problem being left for 3hrs, but that was every day, we leave him one or very occasionally two day a week.

We have been chatting with a behaviourist via zoom and he says it one of the most extreme cases he’s seen. What he has been suggesting has been working well, leaving him in a room behind a closed door for a while but shutting him in the kitchen and going out through the front door sends him over the edge!
He’s now found out he can jump up on the kitchen worktops and has knocked pots, the kettle, plates, cutlery and the biscuits barrel onto the floor! Luckily he’s not injured himself.

We were all set to have a dog sitter starting next week but just tonight she said her mother doesn’t want her to come because my wife and I both work for the NHS she thinks we’ll give her Covid-19! Good grief.

With regards to rehoming him we know this will just make him worse and obviously it’s not fair on whoever took him on but we’re getting desperate.


Offline caro

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2021, 03:24:14 PM »
I'm so sorry to hear this.  Is there any possibility of leaving him in that different room rather than the kitchen?
Caroline & Sam RIP Fern x RIP Charlie Cat x

Offline Shaun W

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2021, 04:36:11 PM »
Hi,
Have you considered a crate?
It will give him a safe secure space, where you know he can’t get into a lot, or create much mayhem.
It may be a challenge now, as he isn’t used to it, but it may help your piece of mind to know that any damage will be contained.

Alfie has trashed 3 beds, he now has the outer part of one and a cheap crate pad, to be honest I put it down to puppy chewing and unexpected results for him, so he kept on.

He’s got used to it and goes in several times a day, if we’re both involved so can’t keep an eye on him, or when big deliveries arrive at the house.
It’s also where he goes for enforced nap time, when he won’t settle on his chair.

Offline Lucy and Denzel

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2021, 07:32:11 PM »
He’s in the kitchen/diner because it’s the place where he can cause the least amount of damage although he’s tried to cause as much as he can, the best way I can describe it is image if when you go out you shutting a chimpanzee in your house!

We have thought about a crate but he’s 4 now so we’re assuming he’s possibly too old to start...

We’re meeting up with another prospective dog sitter tomorrow (suitability socially distanced in the park obviously) so fingers crossed that goes well and that will take off a load of stress for him and us whilst giving us more time to focus on his fear.

Offline rubyduby

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Re: Yup, another Separation Anxiety problem
« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2021, 09:50:14 AM »
Personally tho I have never actually used one I wonder if a day centre may be the answer, he will have companionship and dogs to play with, and who knows it may build up his confidence to make him less clingy. My two year old girl is very similar, fortunately we are retired and rarely go very far, but she has put a stop to any meals out, or doing anything outside the house together without her, we just have to grin and bear it, but I do sometimes feel my life as ended and there is little to look forward too as we cant really do anything. I am 65 and we have had Cockers for 40 yrs, always wo (still have) out never had this issue, Amber has a companion our older girl, they get on brilliantly, but it doesnt help when we go out