CockersOnline Forum
Cocker Specific Discussion => General Cocker Spaniel Discussion => Topic started by: Trev on July 31, 2014, 07:56:25 PM
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Hello All. First post on here. I have a 'situation' looming which is beginning to draw closer and closer and I desperately need the forums' advice. Background first... Last March, my wife and children bought me Molly, a year old working cocker. The farm she had been bought for decided she was unsuitable for what they wanted and so put her up for re homing. I'd lost my previous cocker some 3 years ago and the time was right. My wife worked part time and I worked 5 minutes from home, so Molly got an hour walk in the morning, I came home at 12 for and hour, then my wife was in at 3. I got in and Molly got another hours exercise in the evening. Weekends was 2-3 hour walk both days. All going well and Molly, although TOTALLY crazy was a pleasure to own and became a much loved member of the family. Then at the start of this year, my wife passed away (aged 51) and I lost my job. My youngest daughter has been at home since, so Molly has been o.k. Problem now is, my daughter leaves for Uni in September. My new job is 20 miles away and I am out of the house from 6:30 a.m until 3:45. MY son tries to pop in, in the middle of the day but cannot always....
What can I do?? I REALLY REALLY do not want to lose her. I'm sure you can appreciate not only the sentimental value attached to her but also how these lovely dogs get a hold on you. I've thought about rehoming her again. but she is devoted to me and I would be devastated to do it, even though it appears to be the best thing for her.
Dog walkers would work out at £200 per month and I'm not sure I can afford that. Dog creches open too late for me to drop her off. Relatives live too far away and work anyway.
She has never fouled indoors and seems a very happy dog but 9 hours is a long time on her own, I know. Sorry this is such a long post but as you all appreciate this is a complicated issue... Help please!!
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Welcome to COL, sorry you have had to find us through such sad circumstances, so sorry about your wife. Molly sounds a joy and as many people on here know, a cocker can help through some of the darkest days.
I am sure people on here will have some good suggestions for you. Just off the top of my head have you thought of advertising for someone to pop in and see Molly in the day, not necessarily a dog walker, maybe someone reliable wanting to earn a little extra by spending time with Molly. A walk is not always the most important thing and also it is quite a responsibility to walk and active working cocker. If you could find someone who could let her out for a wee, a bit of playing to keep her mentally stimulated and leave her with a filled kong or something it might be cheaper than a dog walker. I found a neighbour who was desperate for a dog but couldn't have one, and she used to spend the afternoon playing with Ben when he was young and I was struggling. I was lucky she didn't want paying just done doggy company perhaps you could find someone similar
Good luck, I am sure there will be a solution out there.
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Hi Trev,
so sorry to hear of your history
. What I would like to say both of us always worked full time and all our dogs have left for many hours at a time. none of then have ever suffered and they all are well balanced ( as balanced as a wcs can be) healthy dogs. they do have the run of some rooms, plenty of water and if ( and a big if) they have an accident in the house then this is entirely our fault and sorted with out fuss. Both my brothers work full time and are dog owners and again they are left. I am not a bad, neglectful owner, my dogs are my life,
When we had the 2 staffies and the border terrorist, they were left on the bed together and by the little nests made and warmth I know they never budged
Please do not be hasty. Atleast see how she goes
Lorna and Gemma red worker (who loves to sleep all day so can run mum ragged when she gets home :luv:
ps 6.30 to 3.45 is part time to some of the hours OH works
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Where abouts are you?. . . Maybe someone on here could help out and walk her ,dog sit or something?. . .
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Thank you both. Min, you have put my mind at rest a great deal, Thank you. I thought I was the only one out there working like this, just seeing your post has helped. Glad I came on here. Can't lose Mol!
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Hello Lozzy, I'm in Gillingham in Kent.
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Doh!!!!!. . . I'm too far else I would have offered!. . . I'm sure someone is near you on here . . . It might be someone who would like a playmate for an hour or so for theirs good luck let us know what happens
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Why don't you add Kent into your title. There may just be someone on here who can help or recommend someone who could help you.
I really hope you can resolve it as she sounds as if she is a really important part of your life.
Good luck.
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I was just reading on another forum about www.borrowmydoggy.co.uk ! I haven't used it myself.
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Thank you both. Min, you have put my mind at rest a great deal, Thank you. I thought I was the only one out there working like this, just seeing your post has helped. Glad I came on here. Can't lose Mol!
We take on these furbabies and it can be a 12 to 15 year contract. Things happen and circumstances change and we adapt for the greater good. It is not the end of the world as you know it ;)
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I agree with Min, me and OH both work full time and my two are left, if they have an accident (which is rare) then like Min it's dealt with in a fuss free manner.
Our social life had gone to pot and we tend to only go out on evenings of days when we 've been home and not at work, they are with us all weekend and they both sleep on our bed, we figure if they've been on their own during the day then they an have our company all night. They are well adjusted, happy dogs and none the worse for our lifestyle.
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I would think about advertising locally - maybe in the library or something it local paper. When I first moved to my area I lived in a flat and couldn't have a pet and would have loved to have offered to play with a dog. Older people too who may not be able to afford a dog might like some company in the day x
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Sorry about the circumstances you`ve now found yourself in. How about putting an advert in your local pet shop, or ask at your vets.....
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I agree with Min, me and OH both work full time and my two are left, if they have an accident (which is rare) then like Min it's dealt with in a fuss free manner.
Our social life had gone to pot and we tend to only go out on evenings of days when we 've been home and not at work, they are with us all weekend and they both sleep on our bed, we figure if they've been on their own during the day then they an have our company all night. They are well adjusted, happy dogs and none the worse for our lifestyle.
I've told this tale before, sorry to those who've read it.
My daughter died & my grandchildren HAD/Wanted to take on her dog (a Cavi) they were then 16 & 19 & at collage so this worked fine; 5 years later life has changed for them & now Jake the dog lives in a top floor flat (no garden but a park next door) with my grandson who now works. Jake is left for 8 hours a day regularly, if GS is on late shift he comes home to feed Jake. Because Ben (who is only 21 now) is on just over minimum wage (& with all the bills of running a flat/food etc ) he cannot afford anyone to help him, but the story is told because Jake is FINE, he has never dirtied in two years & if he does wet (only very occasionally) it is dealt with (vinegar is good for the smell) with no fuss, it's not his fault.
If your dog means more to you & the family than your pristine home, give it a try, restrict him to the kitchen with a stair gate if that helps, at first at least untill you see what he does (some people instal a camera to put their minds at ease. A dog often sleeps when he is on his own.
Good luck, I'm sure it will work out fine, life is NOT perfect, often other people don't talk about situations that are not perfect. julie
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I'm sorry to hear of the hard times you been going through. I've been trying to think of other places where you might find help locally. I think there have been some good suggestions but what about asking at the local vets. There may be a notice pboard there and that would be reaching other animal lovers. I'm sure help will come along. Just sorry I'm not local.
I think Min is right and things will work out. congratulations to your youngest daughter on achieving a place at uni.
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Hi Trev
welcome to COL :D
You have been through so much I'm sure
Mol is a great comfort and good
companion to you.
We have my sisters staffie at our house in the daytime
as her husband died in 2012 and he used to
look after the dog. She goes home after a walk when I get
in from work,
I know it's not the same situation but have faith
that a solution can be found...
are you friendly with anybody local who
has a dog or dogs that she could go to?
I do hope things work out for you both.
steffxxx
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Thank you all for your very kind words and advice. My daughter is studying nursing due to what happened to her mum and Molly was around all the time when she was helping me look after her. She cannot bear to lose Molly now either. I'm DEFINITELY keeping her and will look into all the suggestions kindly offered here. Thank you
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That's great news, good luck and be happy
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So happy you have decided to keep Molly :D
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Have you tried www.borrowmydoggy.com
I have a friend (newcockerparents) on here that use them and love it. It is designed for people who would love a dog but for whom circumstances don't allow a full time dog.
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The other organisation you could try is Cinnamon Trust. Although usually for people who need help with their dogs for health reasons, they may be able to help.
Personally, I think that as already said, it is company that a dog sometimes needs during the day, not necessarily a walk so if there is anybody you know that could pop in, have a cuppa, let Molly out for a wee, change her water and do a bit of ironing ;) ;) then she will be fine. (I would rather that than be worrying whether she is safe on a walk with somebody else)
There is plenty of support on here for whatever you need, none of us know what is round the corner. :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug:
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Pat, I contacted Cinammon for someone else, and they told me their services are for older people only, unless circumstances are very exceptional. I would advertise for a retired person to come in and spend time with her, and make it well worth their while financially, which presumably you can do with a new job. It's a long time for a dog to be on her own and it seems the other posters in similar situations have more than one dog, so at least their dogs have company. Hope you both get sorted soon. Keep us posted.
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I agree with Min and Julie1. We cannot guarantee that our lives will not change when we take on a dog. Just the same as having children and a parent leaves; we adapt and have to make the best of it. In an ideal world a dog wouldn't be on its own all day but we don't live in an ideal world and dogs are amazing creatures. I'm sure you will give the time you have to Molly and she will adapt just fine.
It would be great if someone could help out with a bit of company during the day as well but if this is not possible then I would still keep her and see how it goes. Good luck and I hope it all works out xx
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I agree with Min and Julie1. We cannot guarantee that our lives will not change when we take on a dog. Just the same as having children and a parent leaves; we adapt and have to make the best of it. In an ideal world a dog wouldn't be on its own all day but we don't live in an ideal world and dogs are amazing creatures. I'm sure you will give the time you have to Molly and she will adapt just fine.
It would be great if someone could help out with a bit of company during the day as well but if this is not possible then I would still keep her and see how it goes. Good luck and I hope it all works out xx
Well said, please don't let her go until you see how thing go, give it a few months, get a camera. if you can turn a blind-eye to anything naughty she does, think "it's my fault not hers", life is NOT perfect :'(. She loves you & you love her, that's what's important. Good luck with the new job, who knows something else may turn up soon. All the best Julie.