CockersOnline Forum
Cocker Specific Discussion => General Cocker Spaniel Discussion => Topic started by: bev6951 on April 14, 2008, 09:10:43 PM
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I just wanted to know your thoughts on the following, my (almost)13 year old son is desperate to walk Wilson.On his own. He asks me all the time and gets in a right grump because the answer is always the same........NO! ph34r :005:
Am I being a really horrid mum by not letting him take wilson out? On the whole wilson is quite a good boy but does pull a bit on lead and doesnt have very much road sense at all and just the thought of anything happening makes me feel ill, every time my son asks I end up argueing with him as he says he is old enough now and wilson is 'everyones' dog in the family (we all know thats not true, he's mine but thats another thread!!) and I am just being selfish >:( The other massive thing is dog theft, wilson is still young, entire and very gorgeous!!! :lol2: My son wouldnt stand a chance if anyone challenged him for the dog. He doesnt ask to take Mylee yet as he knows that she is still so young and I am training her but I know what he'll be saying in a few more months!!
Am I being unfair, do you or would you let your 13 yr old take your beloved dog out for a walk?
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No I don't think you are being unfair, I wouldn't let him either for all the reasons you stated.
Could you not walk him together?
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No I don't think you are being unfair, I wouldn't let him either for all the reasons you stated.
Could you not walk him together?
I agree and was thinking the same about taking him for a walk together.
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No I don't think you are being unfair, I wouldn't let him either for all the reasons you stated.
Could you not walk him together?
I agree and was thinking the same about taking him for a walk together.
that is what we usually do, 90% of the time he comes with me and often my 7 yr old daughter too but he wants that independance or to let me know that I can rely on him to do a good job with something that he says thngs like ' you get on with tea mum I'll take wils out for you'!! I think also some of his mates get to walk their dogs on their own.
I know his heart is in the right place but mine would be in my mouth the whole time they were gone!!
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I wouldn't either - too many things could go wrong.
Could you maybe do the road walk with him, then let your son take Wilson around the park on his own, but with you staying close enough to help if needed? Or, if you son is wanting to be more involved with Wilson, perhaps they could do some sort of training course together?
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I have exactly the same issue with my 14 year old daughter. She is very mature and loves the dogs, but there is no way I would put her safety at risk, or th safety of my dogs. The thought that someone would take them off her is too much to stand.
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I think it depends on the child, the dog and the area you walk - I was volunteering for the RSPCA at 13, and walked the occasional dog (it only had two temporary kennels) alone in the local area - I know that they don't let children that young do it now, though :-\
I *might* let lil'bit walk a single, steady dog alone when she is 13 if I am confident in her ability to handle the dog :D
Fortunately we don't have to worry about theft here; but handling a dog-on-dog incident is a different matter ;) She is doing incredibly well with her confidence and handling - and fully intends to drag her parents to YKC Camp as soon as she is old enough ::), so I will probably have more confidence in her than I do in some adult handlers I meet long before she is 13 :005:
Perhaps he should "prove" to you over the summer that he is responsible enough by taking control of him while you are out together - if you are happy, then you can begin to relax the rules :D
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I let my 10 and 12 yrs old walk my dogs :shades:
But then I don't have a road that they have to go near and they are trained (the kids that is :005: ) Normally I walk with them but when I was ill they did it all an d I supervised from the upstairs window ph34r
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Ben (10) wants to walk Buddy too, and we have told him that he can so long as Buddy stays on lead. And only for the shorter afternoon walk.
However, our field is just outside the house so no road walking is involved, so it feels fairly safe.
I remember walking our dog when I was his age and I think it will be a really good thing for his personal development. I'm not sure that Buddy would recall well for him, and I am certain that Ben wouldn't be as aware of all the dog-walking etiquette which seems to be so important these days hence the on-lead rule.
Have yet to send him out for his first walk though as he has been really busy the past few days since we discussed it.
I would have thought a 13 year old would be mature enough - I presume he gets himself to and from school by now?
Ultimately it is a decision only you can make about your own child and dog.
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Or, if you son is wanting to be more involved with Wilson, perhaps they could do some sort of training course together?
That's an excellent idea!
Maybe if you explain to him that it's not him that you don't trust, it's the other dog nappers & idiots out there with out of control dogs that you are worried about. I wouldn't let even the most sensible 13 yr old walk any dog of mine. My 15 yr old stepson isn't allowed to walk Billy and he's probably one of the most sensible 15 yr old boys you can find. It's not an issue because he doesn't want to but even if he did it would be a definate No.
I used to walk our dog when i was little but things have changed over the years.
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wow there are some really great ideas out there thank you, I do think that although he is a pretty responsible kid you never know what might happen and as someone mentioned an incident with another dog would be awful while I wasnt there, not saying I am a control freak but with this I think I am slightly. I just told my son about this thread and he said 'oh dont forget to tell them that dad lets me walk wilson sometimes when your out' :o :o :o :o :o I never knew that, there will be words later I can tell you, but I suppose it has proved that he is ok but it would still be a no for the regular walks.
I think he will love the idea of the two of them doing a course or something together, and walking the road bit with them then letting him take it from there while I was still around. lurking!!!
My mum lets him walk her golden retriever every time we visit her, but she is 13 (the dog not my mum)and doesnt move very fast and just plods along(again the dog.......actually and my mum!!!!)
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My daughter has walked Harvey since she was 13 (now 15), she's done agility and some basic obedience classes with him so she knows what she's doing. She never goes over fields with him and he's always on lead with her (in fact she's more paranoid about his safety off lead then I am). As for 'dog napping' that can happen to anyone, there's not much you can do to prevent that only the obvious things like not leaving them outside a shop. She also always walks him on a normal lead not a flexi lead as they can be dangerous near roads and other dogs. They also need to accept they have to scoop the poop!
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This became an issue in our house last summer when a friend of my then 10 year old son got a job walking a neighbours 12 yr old terrier and he wanted Philip to walk with him. I said no to Philip walking with him and the friend then offered to split the money with Philip but I said its not the money, although I did feel why should my son walk too because his friend wanted the company and not get paid, I don't think your responsible enough, which was proved as the friend I later found out wouldn't even pick up after the dog ph34r
I explained about being a responsible dog owner to Philip and after a lot of huffing and puffing he realised why I said no.
Philip is probably more savvy than my hubby with regards dogs, he was brought up with cats, and like your son is probably quite competant and has watched you and picked up your ways. Again I think gut instinct works in these situations too.
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My 13 year old daughter has taken them round the immediate block on her own, but not down to the park where they'd be off lead where she might panic about recalling them or where someone else might get them first. She'[s not so keen about poo pick up though ::)
There are plenty of people around the small circle who know her and the dogs by site if not better so I'm confident there would be someone in an emergency.
She also did the training with Lou until the course changed nights and wants to go back. Hopefully we can sort this out now :D
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While I agree with all the safety and "what-ifs" that others have quoted, I think that there is also something here about kids learning responsibilty at a young age and sensible animal ownership is an ideal way to help your kid develop into an adult who appreciates his responsibilities. I had dogs and horses as a child and although my parents were always around to help, it was always made clear that it was up to me to look after them. I firmly believe that that had biggest impact on my sense of responsibility in many aspects of life now that I am big and grown up (I think!).
I agree with one of the other respondants that, if your dog is a sensible sort, a good idea would be to escort them to a relatively safe place and then let your son take the dog from there. Classes would also be a great idea if it helps to teach your son how to let the dog socialise, how to recognise anxiety and aggression in the dog etc without panicking, and giving you a confidence about recall etc.
A good dog-respecting child will grow into a good dog-respecting adult.
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There has been a case of attempted dog-napping where I live involving a teenage girl and her dog out walking, and we got emailed the detail via e-cops. We live in what I call a safe area as well. >:( I now also have to watch out for a 6 month old Akita puppy who is always off-lead who has taken to jumping Indie when we are out walking, this is a nightmare for me as the owner is a divvy woman who has no control of her dog and the dog has zero recall >:( My son is nearly 13 and although he is a big lad and is responsible, I really don't know how he would cope with a dog on dog incident or indeed if (god forbid) someone tried to steal Indie. I don't think you are being unfair at all, its not your kids you have to worry about, its other people.
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I am happy to let my kids (12 & 16) walk Millie. Rob (12) will happily take Millie on a pavement walk and on the long line/ stretchy lead in the park. Kate (16) will also take her to the local (large and usually quiet) recreaction field and let her off lead.
The only rules we have is that they tell me where they are going to walk and that take their mobiles and poo bags ;) with them. (If there was a problem I could be with them in minutes)
Rob was about 11 1/2yrs and Millie 1 year old when he started taking her for short 'round the block' walks. He did all of Millie's puppy (& clicker) training with me and whilst on walks together often had control of Millie (with me giving advise if nec). So he was well practiced before 'going solo'
They don't have to walk her every day, thats my and OH's responsibility, (but they will often come with us) but occasionally (usually in the school hols) I'll ask them to take her for a walk to help me out and I appreciate their help.
As far as a dog-on-dog incident goes (not had one yet & Millie's coming up two years) you cant stop doing everything just because 'something might happen'. If I took that attitude Millie would have alot of very boring pavement walks and never see a field, footpath or woods from one week to the next. ;)
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I am happy to let my kids (12 & 16) walk Millie. Rob (12) will happily take Millie on a pavement walk and on the long line/ stretchy lead in the park. Kate (16) will also take her to the local (large and usually quiet) recreaction field and let her off lead.
The only rules we have is that they tell me where they are going to walk and that take their mobiles and poo bags ;) with them. (If there was a problem I could be with them in minutes)
Rob was about 11 1/2yrs and Millie 1 year old when he started taking her for short 'round the block' walks. He did all of Millie's puppy (& clicker) training with me and whilst on walks together often had control of Millie (with me giving advise if nec). So he was well practiced before 'going solo'
They don't have to walk her every day, thats my and OH's responsibility, (but they will often come with us) but occasionally (usually in the school hols) I'll ask them to take her for a walk to help me out and I appreciate their help.
As far as a dog-on-dog incident goes (not had one yet & Millie's coming up two years) you cant stop doing everything just because 'something might happen'. If I took that attitude Millie would have alot of very boring pavement walks and never see a field, footpath or woods from one week to the next. ;)
I know you are right about that, I am slightly uptight when they are off lead anyway, always looking for other dogs incase wilson decides to take off (I should give him the benefit of the doubt tho cos as of yet he never has.... touch wood!!) It is the school hols here at the moment so my son is still in bed!! (I wish!!!) but when he gets up I am gonna have a word with him about doing some dog courses with wilson. I think he would really like that.
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Could you let him walk your dog with you following at a distance (him knowing you're there for back up incase something happens?)
Think the idea of dog training together is a great one!
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My daughters are 11 and 9 and they both are allowed to take Tasha out on a lead walk around the local area I think it does them good and makes them more independant but we do live in a relatively quiet area and they always have a phone with them. We also know most of the local dogs I won't allow them to take her to the local shop though unless they are together and one of them waits outside with her.
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I walked my first dog from aged 12 so dont see the harm but then again I grew up in safe suburb.... I think my mum knew I was sensible though and mature for my age. At 13 I was volunteering for the SSPCA and used to walk several at a time no probs. Just depends on the kid I suppose.
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I have let my 12yr old son walk Zack on his own, but we live in a very quiet residential area. And also with Zack being so young he is no trouble walking on the lead. Have never thought of anyone trying to grab the dog, that's a very scary thought, but he's back to school now so wont probably get the chance to walk him on his own for a while as in the evening we all go together to the park.
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I don't have children so it's difficult to say but I remember walking our family dog on my own & with my friends & I must have been about 14/15.
But that was 40 odd years ago when quite frankly it was a different world!!! ;) (I also took people out on hacks on my own from the same sort of age which nobody would contemplate these days!!! :shades:)
I think probably these days I would be a lot more dubious about letting a youngster of 13 or so take a dog out by themselves even around here (a comparatively quiet & low crime area!! ;))
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I was about 12 when I took someones dog out alone - I have no memory of how I met this old couple but they had a collie type dog and were very grateful that I turned up a few days a week to walk Spot.
I spent many happy hours walking Spot and had no dog training or worried adults watching over me (my parents were caring but were talking about the 70's which allowed us to have more freedom).
On the other hand I now have Ben (worker) and Becky (teenage daughter) and the two mix well unless I ask her to walk him :005: and it's then done under protest with Ben staying on lead (and in all probability his poo's staying where they fall ph34r)
If your son wants to walk Zack then I'd let him - just make sure that he has a poo bag - doesn't let Zack off lead and has someway of contacting you if he has a major problem ;)
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My daughter has walked Harvey since she was 13 (now 15), she's done agility and some basic obedience classes with him so she knows what she's doing. She never goes over fields with him and he's always on lead with her (in fact she's more paranoid about his safety off lead then I am). As for 'dog napping' that can happen to anyone, there's not much you can do to prevent that only the obvious things like not leaving them outside a shop. She also always walks him on a normal lead not a flexi lead as they can be dangerous near roads and other dogs. They also need to accept they have to scoop the poop!
From what I have seen, I would say that she has a natural affinity for dogs. And I would certainly trust her with Buddy (and I have an inkling that he would go with her like a shot too!)
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I let Milly (age 11) walk Maisy on her own.
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Mmm difficult one :-\ Im not sure id let him either :luv: Poor wee poppet :luv: He's meaning well isnt he :luv:
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My daughter has walked Harvey since she was 13 (now 15), she's done agility and some basic obedience classes with him so she knows what she's doing. She never goes over fields with him and he's always on lead with her (in fact she's more paranoid about his safety off lead then I am). As for 'dog napping' that can happen to anyone, there's not much you can do to prevent that only the obvious things like not leaving them outside a shop. She also always walks him on a normal lead not a flexi lead as they can be dangerous near roads and other dogs. They also need to accept they have to scoop the poop!
From what I have seen, I would say that she has a natural affinity for dogs. And I would certainly trust her with Buddy (and I have an inkling that he would go with her like a shot too!)
Aaaah thanks Annette, I think Buddy may be a bit more interested in what's in her pocket :005:
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Mmm difficult one :-\ Im not sure id let him either :luv: Poor wee poppet :luv: He's meaning well isnt he :luv:
he really is, he just wants to do me a favour, I keep telling him its not a chore to me I love walking them but he wants to do it like on his own like a grown up. I had a word with him about the training classes etc and he loved the idea. Am going to wait til next week to look into it as its still school hols and I am too busy til then :D
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It's a difficult one as you worry about both dog and son if you are not there, but he is persistent with his plea and so it's a shame not to give him the chance.
We grew up with dogs and I loved to walk ours from being about 10 just round the block on a lead at the time, but mainly because the dog was blind so couldn't walk too far! I never grew out of enjoying taking the dogs and continued to do it daily until I left home and I would have been devastated and probably more determined to walk them if I'd been told no. (guess I've always had a stubborn streak!).
I think I would ask to go with him first couple of times and see how well he manages, then let him try on his own.
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My girls (12 & 14) walk Pip every day and take him to the park for some off lead play. He is very good a recall and we've had no problems. It wasn't something I ever really worried about. The girls are sensible, Pip is (fairly) obedient and I think the respopnsibility is part of growing up. Sometimes my youngest meets up with 2 of her friends and their dogs for a walk and a play in the park.
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Mmm difficult one :-\ Im not sure id let him either :luv: Poor wee poppet :luv: He's meaning well isnt he :luv:
Mmm - now would you think my eldest shouldn't walk any of mine?? (He only ever walks one at a time, would never let him take two or all 3 out at once tho ;) )
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When I was 12 I wanted to walk my dog, and my mum wouldnt let me either >:( >:( It was because (Pongo) Our Dalmatian was so strong, So she made me train him in the garden instead, I did it for about 2 months, then We were allowed to the end of the road and back, the to the park with my friends.... etc... Im sure Wilson would love to go on an adventure with your son!! It will be fine!!! x x