Oh Trev,
I've not been able to do this before as everytime I've tried, I've drowned my keyboard and had to start scraping my smashed up heart off the floor... again.
Actually, it's not that much better this time. Maybe you're just destined to cause as much chaos after leaving us as you did when you were here?
. I hope you know what you did to us and pretty much everyone who met you, you were, quite frankly, the love of my life and the most solid friend through some truly phenomenal years. Your capacity to dish out undying love, kindness, forgiveness and affection to everyone (apart from postmen and anyone/dog who threatend your family) taught us all so so much and your unbelievable enthusiasm for even the most crap of my idea's made me feel great. What a chum..
You were with us through the most painful, hardwork property renovation, you nicked all our tools and hid them everyday - the job took probably twice as long but I wouldn't change a thing. You were the only one there when I went into labour with Tom 4 miles from the car in the woods and you didn't run off
- you knew it was important to ignore rabbits that day and stayed with me and got me back to the car. When I bought him home from hospital you never showed a shred of jealousy, you just embraced another person to love and look after and what a job you did for the next 5 years (you'll be pleased to know that he still tells me he really misses you often)
You hated Simon and I breaking up we could both see how much the change in circumstances worried you. I sometimes wondered if you felt like you'd failed to keep your pack together, but please know you really didn't fail at anything and again you stuck by me and kept me company and showered us all with cuddles and kisses at every opportunity which was a bigger help than I suspect you'll ever know..
I miss you every day. I miss experiencing your total love of everything and everyone and zest for life. I miss watching your beautiful golden athletic body flying through the forest and seeing you flushing birds with undying enthusiasm and temporary total deafness
I miss having a giggle with you and even miss you embarrassing me everyday on your mission to make as many new friends as possible - although I have to say escaping from the garden and breaking into a church service over the road expecting a warm welcome in the middle of a hymn was maybe pushing your luck a little far
, and you could have waited until I was out of my PJ's... Maybe you knew you didn't have as long as you should have and decided to fit everything in that a normal life span would have held? I don't blame you
I miss you patrolling the house twice a night and sneaking into the bottom of the bed then shimmying your way up under the duvet until your head was on the pillow next to me, then sighing contentedly, pushing me to the edge of the bed and snoring
I just miss you Trev and still can't believe you're not here anymore, 6 years was categorically not enough for us was it?
You undertook those sudden, shocking, final two weeks the same way you lived your life. You were clearly in a lot of pain and distressed but you continued to be kind and trusting to all of us and let us try and help you without so much as even a tiny grumble - you even really surprised the vets with how patient and tolerant you were, thank you for trusting me then (well done
) (told you so vets - you only have to ask kindly and he will give
)
You're body is here at home with me now and I suspect your spirit is soaring through the forest as it always has done..
I love you so much Trev and thank you for sharing your life with me and in doing so, changing my life in the most amazing way... what a ride we had eh mate? You'll be pleased to know that what you left with us and your memories will continue to ride with all of us until we see you again - can't wait
.
Han, Simon & Tom xxxxxxxxxx
