17 month old cocker and 14 month old son

[Holly2009]

Why wouldn't he understand...at 14 months he understands more than you think, vague memory of at that age they understand around 200 words ((can only say a handful)) its never to early to explain reasoning, I'm in the non smacking group...for me to even tap his hand for an undesirable behaviour in my opinion is completely counter productive ((eg my sister in law has three boys, they were all bashing lumps out each other...she grabbed each one & smacked them....teaching them it's ok to hit, just makes me laugh at how crazy that sounds))

Baby jail   love it!

LynneB) you beat me 

[louise1608]

I know I honestly don't smack him but hes never put me in a position like that before, I was worried about Alfie and his reaction to ryan actually causing him pain...whenever he's been bad its always been baby jail and never a smack and I hope that I'm not judged for that reaction...and it didn't leave a mark..it really was more of a tap but I still cannot defend myself it was definately the wrong reaction. I will seperate them if it is needed but I really don't want to - I hope that this is a phase as he has been toddling about for 5 months and its only the last few days he's been hitting alfie - i keep throwing distractions at him to stop him going near him - ill keep you all updated, hopefully with good posts and not bad!

[Holly2009]

I'm sure it'll be fine, I wasn't judging you atall, I'd just make sure your dogs always got his own space, an escape route & maybe only well supervised time around your little one untill he learns the doggy rules ((maybe a treat for each when they both sit nicely in the same room  I'm sure doggy biscuits would be fine for both)) 

[louise1608]

  ryan is always sneaking alfies food haha! and i would never ever leave them unsupervised - i cant remember the last time i went even to the loo without ryan

[Holly2009]

ryan is always sneaking alfies food haha! and i would never ever leave them unsupervised - i cant remember the last time i went even to the loo without ryan

I hear ya on that one

[Karma]

Just to say, while toddlers can understand words, instructions etc, they don't have the self-control to follow rules all the time, and don't have empathy to appreciate why they need to be gentle with animals etc.  Even supernanny doesn't advise things like naughty steps until age 3....    I'm aware everyone has differing opinions on parenting etc, and as a dog forum this isn't the place for a major discussion on the subject, but I think rather than seeing it as being on one side or the other, you need to view it that both of them need to learn to live with each other and you need to facilitate that... lots of positive time together, and kept seperate when either one of them is not in the right frame of mind...  

And I defy any of you to come and "reason" with Isobel... understanding some boundaries, yes, absolutely - as I say, she is well aware of the fact that she isn't to approach the dog bed etc, but she has no concept of "reasoning".  

[bluegirl]

There was 18 mths between my old cocker and my first childs birth. My cocker wasn't really keen on babies and so from day one it was all geared to keeping Bonnie and son safe from each other. My son was also a challenge and I'm pretty certain he really thought his name was "No" for the first couple of years after his birth because he hated being restrained, and I don't mean physically he just couldn't accept No without a reason. I do know as far as boys go he was not the norm, he had a lot more thinking power and understanding even from a young age. As soon as he started to crawl we had to ensure no harm came to either him or the dog and since he walked at 9mths reasoning had to quickly follow. If he was heavy handed with Bonnie or intent on doing something that would hurt her, he was stopped with a NO and a basic explanation given, even if it was just " no, hurt Bonnie, arh poor Bonnie", then I always tried distraction whilst he carried on telling me "no, hurt Bonnie" (that was basically a repeat of what I'd said, not him wanting to continue to hurt her ) a few times more (he was quite a talker, even at 14 mths). We just built on that and never had any issues, did the same for my second and third son.

[Holly2009]

I don't think it's ever two early to give a reason along with saying No... it's the only way they can learn anything! I've always spoke to and treated my children as if they understand from being tiny...to treat them like clueless little beings with no verbal reasoning just seems odd to me! I think you get out of your children what you put in....same with dogs and training 

[Karma]

Oh, I agree with the fact that you should give the reason... as I said, we've been doing this from day one... the comment about reasoning was more in response to suggestions that you can reason with a toddler...   

[louise1608]

Little update - I think Ryan was going through some kind of phase 

I've been ready to grab the little monster every time he's gone near Alfie since I posted this thread but he hasn't bothered! I've said no when he looks like he's going to give Alfie a smack and he's turned around and looked at me like I was being unreasonable! But wandered off and grabbed a toy instead...he doesn't keep away from him all the time and I wouldnt want him to - but Alfie is not backing off anymore, I promised him I would protect him lol

[bluegirl]

Glad all seems to be settling down.