My cocker bit someone

[C_phillips]

Hi Bob,

As the owner of a fear-reactive Spaniel myself, I can appreciate how hard this is for you (I have a blog on my spaniel, Jake, who is dealing with some aggression related issues:https://snappyspaniel.wordpress.com/author/snappyspaniel/)

As we've known about Jake's bite history from an early age, it makes it "easier" for us to control situations - especially around children - but I was brought up with a Collie who never showed any signs of aggression and tbh I always had the expectation that no dog should ever bite or snap and if they did they were "vicious". After raising Jake, I know that this is simply not the case, and dogs are much more complex than teenage me (or my parents) had ever really considered. Jake is a lovely and affectionate dog, much like your own sounds, who has a bit of a short-fuse and we have learned appropriate management techniques for dealing with him (and are bite free for over 6 months!) but that does not mean we are (or will ever be) completely comfortable when he is around others - particually children.

It doesn't sound like your dog is anywhere near the level Jake was last year, and this was an isolated instance most likely caused by stress of an unfamiliar location / people, the child with make up on ... and probably something a bit more than a gentle stroke that startled your dog? I genuinely believe that lots of dogs would react in the same way under similar circumstances - but obviously it must be awful for you for this to have happened, especially as a child was involved.

It's very hard to advise on something like this, as it sounds like you are almost being forced into a "its me or the dog" type situation. Unfortunately, knowing how people react when I tell people about Jake who don't really understand dogs, I imagine your gf/in-laws attitude is pretty unshakable and I do wonder if you will ever be able to convince your gf / in-laws that your dog is fine and this is an isolated incident.

I really hope the injuries sustained weren't too serious - and that the child is not affected physically or emotionally by the incident - things will have to change in terms of management around children now you know your dog is capable of biting, so I think the decision you have to make is whether you are willing to live for the next 6-7 years with a dog who could potentially bite. From experience, it can be stressful, especially when others do not respect the way you do things (but it sounds like your own kids do which is great). I've found that Jake is actually very predictable when he snaps / bites - it's people that are unpredictable and they are much harder to control! Kids even more so. The danger is you may find that you isolate yourself from people, particularly if you are not able to fully control a situation (such as in this case) which can put massive strains on your own mental health - as well as existing relationships. I really do wish you luck going forward with this, I can definitely relate and it's not nice having a dog who is so sweet and gentle in your eyes, but perceived as a "nasty dog" by others - but if you want to keep your dog, you will have to deal with some degree of this for sure considering what has happened.

That said, I really hope you and your gf and family work this out and you do not have to give up the dog. It will all come down to whether you can reassure her (and yourself) that by putting into effect appropriate management strategies (such as no more stroking the dog on the sofa) this will be very unlikely to happen again. I am hoping this has a happy resolution for you all

[Confused Bob]

Hi All

I just wanted to say a big thank you for all your support, kind words and helpful advice.

I don’t think I will never know or fully understand why my dog did what he did. I can only put it down to a series of events that lead to what, for no other better words; can only be described as an unfortunate accident. An accident where a poor young girl was physically harmed and where many others have also suffered in some way as a result.

Needless to say, I cannot punish my dog for what was effectively a failure in humans (myself included) and I am adamant that I will not give up on him or pass the responsibility of him onto someone else. I will be keeping him. That being said, the way I allow him to interact with people and more importantly, the way I allow people to interact with him will certainly change.  Whilst I don’t ever believe that he will do this again, I also will never be putting him into a situation where he feels he has no other option than to react himself. I have already started to educate my children in the way that they are to interact with him going forward and, if nothing else can be taken from this, I will ensure that anyone who comes into contact with him are also similarly educated, that they remember that he is a dog and as such, he needs to be respected.

I hope no one else ever has to go through this experience.

Again, thank you everyone who commented and for all your support.

Kind Regards

Bob

[bizzylizzy]

That‘s good news Bob. Thanks for the update, I‘m sure I‘m not the only one who has been thinking of you, I‘m so glad you‘ve decided not to give him up.
All the best!

[Mari]

So happy to read this update! Hope the people in your life understand and respect your decision. Good luck with everything moving forward!

[Digger]

I'm so happy to read this.   
I too really think it sounds like an isolated incident with a nice dog who got freaked out.

Just thought you may be interested in this as part of your positive way forward:
I've just bought my grandchildren an interactive DVD game and booklet from the blue cross called 'the blue dog' game.  I haven't actually used it yet but it looks great.
It puts forward dog related scenarios to the children who are playing the game and presents them with a choice of ways they can react.  From the booklet it seems to cover all sorts of events- like going near their food, the dog stealing their toy, chasing etc and obviously focuses in on reading dog body language.
It's aimed at 3-6 year olds. It was eight quid.
Best of luck to you all and really hoping it all works out.

[ejp]

Thank s for posting an update, I was wondering how things were. I genuinely believe this was a one off, and a result of poor circumstances.  Lots of good advice given, and you definitely appear to have a handle on this. If this was an incident between two people, where circumstances caused a problem, and one reacted badly, it would probably come under the banner of 'he is only human, he made a mistake'. Dogs are not always given that leeway.

[Ben's mum]

Thank you for posting an update, I've been thinking about you and wondering what has happened. 
It sounds like you have anything under control.  Strangely because of Harry's issues and the need to watch him so closely all the time and understand his behaviour we have an amazingly close bond, I hope you achieve this with your dog, it feels very rewarding.  I sometimes look at Harry and wonder what would have happened to him if he had gone to live with someone else, your dog is lucky to be staying with you where you will be able to protect him from the anxieties of life that cause these reactions.
Hope you have lots of years of happiness together   

[sodpot2000]

I have only just read this thread and was relieved to see the outcome. Given what you say, I can't see that the dog would bite unless he was frightened and felt that he had no choice. Through his eyes things perhaps looked very different to how they would look to us? Did he feel he had to defend his pack's den? We will never know. A dreadful thing to happen, but the responsibility lies with the people not the dog. We live and (hopefully) learn.

I hope that the little girl is going to make a full recovery.

[lucybennett]

I have also just read the chain and feel for all involved. I think this is more common than people let on and the TV showing so many placid, unreactive dogs doesn’t help. Bailey has bitten once (not a child)- and growled often- but ever since the bite I have completely managed his interactions and would never let him interact with a child he doesn’t know. It is very reasonable and q easy to keep a dog and children/ people apart if and when needed. We also use a muzzle in the house which allows everyone to be relaxed. It surprises people and I have often felt a failure but come to terms with it now.  I once had great advice on this forum when posting that bailey was very unfriendly to visitors and I just wanted to share him with everyone and for all to see him how I see him- a loveable, affectionate  and fun dog. That advice was that despite what we see on tv we can’t expect every dog to be placid, happy to be patted, stroked and approached by anyone in any situation. Love him for yourselves as your pet, and manage the sharing of him within his limitations. He’s your best friend, and doesn’t have to be everyone else’s x


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[Ashleigh]

That advice was that despite what we see on tv we can’t expect every dog to be placid, happy to be patted, stroked and approached by anyone in any situation. Love him for yourselves as your pet, and manage the sharing of him within his limitations. He’s your best friend, and doesn’t have to be everyone else’s x

That's such a good way of looking at it