A serious decision to make....

[minimoo]

the people i had my third cocker off Ella rehomed her because they had a baby and didnt have time for her anymore, they now have two children, BUT they made sure they found her a good loving home for her because they were good decent people, i seriously hope you are not considereing a puppy farm OR killing your dog , there are plenty of rescues willing to take cockers and im sure some people on here can put you in touch with someone near you, to be honest i cant believe you would consider ending your dogs life just because you cant be bothered with him, you say you love your child, well IMHO what goes around comes around ,  

[Fudgeley]

Please do as others have said and contact a reputable rescue. On the other hand......your wife will be doing loads of walking with the little one and a pram....

[Holly2009]

I don't understand what's so difficult about looking after a baby & a 3yrs old dg?
Babies dont even do much until they can move? They sleep, eat & poop!!!
What's your wife finding difficult? I can't imagine contemplating rehoming him unless there are problems you haven't mentioned!
We got holly when our two boys were 6 months old & 4yrs old & was the best thing we ever did, although I don't work which I imagine makes things easier!
Please get in touch with rita at Scotland cocker rescue if you are rehoming him, he will find a wonderful home, she's great, good luck!

[Ninasmum]

Tbh i feel sick & angry reading this    I really hope you don't mean it about the puppy farm & as others have said the dogs suffer terribly at these place's. 

Please, please, please contact the rescue's in your area & allow them to give your dog the life he deserve's. It sounds like you have already made the decision that your dog is 'surplus to requirements' now, so do the decent thing NOW.

[Trischie]

Hi

Three months isn't very old. It takes a while to settle in and the first three months are extremely difficult with a baby. We had both kids first - and the dog came when our smallest was 9 months. My youngest cried a lot and I took her for long walks for both of our sanities. I'm sure you take your child out in the pram a lot. Would it be possible to see the dog walks and baby walks as first family days out?

It sounds to me like you are very stressed and worried about the big responsibilities in your life and in your darkest moments you are looking for some radical solutions. Only you know your heart though. If your feelings to the dog are as cold as they suggest in your post, it would probably be best to find a good home.

But if you've had a think and the sun is shining again, the baby finally asleep and you find yourself patting the dog and thinking "I'm sure well manage somehow", then let me give you hope that it will soon get better. Baby gets bigger and stronger and settles in to a routine and dog responsibilities can be worked into daily life again. Hopefully in a few months you'll all be playing out in the snow together and having picnics in the spring together - the whole of the family - including dog.

Finding a new home for a dog is so final. It would be a shame if you made some permanent decisions based on the stress of the last few months.

Hope you aren't feeling as low as when you wrote the post. If you really think you can't handle it all - find the dog a GOOD home.

Love and strength to all.

[Jane S]

Could I please ask you to contact your breeder first before you take any other action - as a breeder I would be absolutely horrified if it was one of our pups that might be "sold to the farm" or put in rescue. Ok you may not have got your dog from a decent breeder in which case they won't be interested but good breeders will always take back a dog they have bred and find him or her a new home.

[JaspersMum]

Three months isn't very old. It takes a while to settle in and the first three months are extremely difficult with a baby. We had both kids first - and the dog came when our smallest was 9 months. My youngest cried a lot and I took her for long walks for both of our sanities. I'm sure you take your child out in the pram a lot. Would it be possible to see the dog walks and baby walks as first family days out?

It sounds to me like you are very stressed and worried about the big responsibilities in your life and in your darkest moments you are looking for some radical solutions. Only you know your heart though. If your feelings to the dog are as cold as they suggest in your post, it would probably be best to find a good home.

I assume that some of the worries for the OP date back to when they first joined COL and Bailey snapped at a visiting child.  I assume that she worked through that issue or he would of been homed then.  You do have a responsibility to keep your baby safe and if the "problem" has not been sorted, then maybe finding a home where there are no children is a better option BUT please let a rescue help you 

[Poppsie]

I'm with Helen on this one    I had a golden cocker when my first was born, and rather than being a burden she was brilliant, we would go walking  for hours me my baby and honey it was so relaxing. Sorry but why did you get a dog in the first place?

[seaangler]

After reading all the post...Not going into puppy farming..Makes me feel SICK...

But like to add  be for we move to the midlands we live in a cottage down in Keynsham...At that time i was a lorry driver working almost seven days a week mostly away from home with nights out..We also had two young baby girls at the time along with two dogs two cats plus chickens...My wife cope with all what was going on on her own..So why are you making it feel such a hard job for the both of you..As to not look after just one small dog at the same time....I am sure there are Meany other C.O.L members in the same position as you with young children and (BABY'S)and WOULD DARE NOT even consider what you have said...

I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill....

Also on the school run the amount of mothers i have seen with there MUCH LOVE DOGS in tow taking there older and much younger children to school....

Is there friends or Family that would take your dog on.....Or even help out with the walking of your dog...After all thats what familys are there for!!!..

[Black Red + Yellow]

Having a new baby is very very daunting and life changing however, I owned a dog throughout my first pregnancy with Kelly (and we both worked full time) Kelly's horrendous colic, then at 8 months, she had an operation to correct her dislocated hip and was in plaster from her chest to her ankles for almost 5 months.  We then had a 2nd daughter and moved house before she was 3 and half.  I only went part time after

Think seriously.........it can be done.......my hubby left me busy with the baby while he made sure Bessie had at least one walk in the morning and in the evening.  There are always weekends when all of you are about and can enjoy a family walk and take your doglet for a long ole jaunt out.  Winter is harder with the darker evenings I know.

At the end of the day, your baby does come first and you are obviously feeling very over whelmed by your new parent status.......if you do decide to re-home your dog, just remember your dog was part of your family for 3 years and deserves the best home you can find.

[Karma]

Ok...

The way you have worded your post has prompted a very strong reaction... if people have taken the right meaning from your post, they have said everything that needs to be said on the subject, so I'm just going to proceed on the assumption that you are considering rehoming your dog via a reputable rescue... 

I am currently on maternity leave having had our daughter 6 weeks ago.  And I can honestly say that my priority from knowing I was pregnant has been to ensure I was able to care for our new addition as well as our existing responsibilities.  Honey didn't ask us to start a family - we made the decision initially to have a dog and later to start a family, and I think we owe it to her to ensure that she is included as just as important a part of our family unit as she ever was.

You say you will both be working full time after your wife finishes maternity leave - surely this was the case beforehand?  So what arrangements were made for your dog then?  Can you not look at day care for your dog, or a dog walker?

How does your wife feel about this?  Has she previously been committed to the dog, but is just struggling now, or has the dog always been "your" baby and now she feels her time is being stretched in too many directions?

The general tone of your post sounds like you haven't considered the impact starting a family would have on your dog, or his place in the family.  That you have focussed all your energy on your new baby and left your dog's needs out in the cold.  If you can't put in the time to meet the needs of your dog AND your baby, then, yes you are better off rehoming him through a reputable rescue.  However forgive me that I don't have a lot of sympathy for your plight - I was running around doing an agility lesson for Honey 8 days before Isobel was born, and we are back to the agility lessons tomorrow, it has been a priority to me in these early weeks that Honey has had the same level of exercise she is used to (a good long walk every morning and a shorter one most afternoons) and I have mastered the art of clicker training while breastfeeding.  I have dragged my husband along to Honey's socialisation group, so that he could focus on the baby while I focussed on the dog (but I was available to feed if needbe).  And I used my first opportunity to go out without Isobel (courtesy of a bottle of expressed milk now she's reached 5-6 weeks) to take the dog for a long walk with lots of training included.  Yes, life has changed for Honey, and she's a little put out by some aspects of it, but we've made sure we've put in the effort to make those changes manageable for her.

To be blunt, yes you should have considered this before you bought your dog - but if you can honestly see that you are not meeting his needs, and will not be able to in the foreseeable future, then please do rehome your dog via a rescue to a home who will give him everything he needs - you owe him at least that much.. 


Editted to add - as Jane says, if it's at all appropriate, your first port of call should be your dog's breeder...

[Black Red + Yellow]

good post Karma

[Hurtwood Dogs]

My initial reaction to this post is that it must be a wind up... if not, it's a very sad post to read, and an attitude I have very little respect/time for and one of the reasons there are so many dogs in rescue today. Having a baby is hard work - how much are you helping your wife at the moment? Are you both sharing baby duties and both helping out with dog stuff too or are you expecting your wife to do it all - why don't you get up early and walk the dog before you go to work or do it when you come home?

Personally speaking, I had a very hyper 1 yr old cocker when I had my first baby and I went back to work when that baby was 4 months old 3 days a week and was working from home with baby and dog 2 days a week. That baby was also a very restless 'hardwork' baby (I know this after having had another). My partner at the time was also away from home 4-5 days a week. It was very tough, but more than doable and as far as I'm concerned, taking on a dog is a big responsibility and for the lifetime of that dog unless serious problems arise that aren't manageable by that household.

I've now got 2 dogs including a rescue that has her own issues and I've since had another baby... I work part-time from home and my OH isn't able to help out with day to day stuff other than bath time with the kids! The dogs do get slightly less at times, but do you know what? They are included in a busy family and thrive on that so whilst I'll be the first to admit that occasionally, particularly in winter and when the kids are sick, I don't feel they get enough walks, they've actually adjusted very well, seem happy and are occupied in other ways playing with the kids etc etc.. When my youngest child starts nursery in January, we'll be back to the level of training and walks we were before and neither dog is 'suffering' from having had a little less as we've made sure they've had enough, it just hasn't been my ideal for them for a couple of years.

How was your dog getting walks/attention before when you were both working full time? As others have said, what about a dog walker or day care for the dog? OR a neighbour/friend that wouldn't mind helping out?

If you've made up your mind to get rid of your dog then I can only agree with what others have said, please don't be so disrespectful to the animal that's given you so much by having it destroyed or selling to a puppy farm... contact a reputable rescue and see what they say - even if they can't take your dog straight away for you (busy time of year as lots of people throw pets away around Christmas) then how about suggesting you care for you own dog (rather than a foster home) until they can find another more suitable perminant home?

I'm sorry I can't be more sympathetic but having been there and done it twice - and with 2 dogs the second time around... I know it's more than possible with a bit of effort, perspective and dedication. There are lots of people on here that manage babies and existing dogs and I also have a lot of friends that have done it... so I'm not that extraordinary

[sharonmansfield]

A lot sickened by this to be totally honest. I have not been on here for ages and this is the first post I come across.
I really hope that this post is just badly worded.

I don't have children so I cannot comment on the stresses of having a baby and a dog but a lot of lovely people have posted on here to help you.
I would plead with you that if you cannot cope with your dog then do the decent thing and make sure he gets a decent home through a decent rescue centre. This post really saddens me.

 

[honeysmun]

OMG how anyone think of doing such a thing, not a COL, I know our home wouldn't be a HOME without ours girls Holly & Honey, children are a wonderful gift,  but also,  there are moments when that special paw touching you, that trusting loving look and big cocker kisses comes a very close second,  thanks to all of you guys who have given this person such good sound advice, but I have a feeling we might never get to hear a reply and never know the outcome.