Something has got to change or they are going!!!!!

[Woody's Mum]

I keep popping back to see if OP has replied,

I just felt terrible taking Woody for a long run in the rain, knowing .... - this thread has really affected me 

[Joules]

I keep popping back to see if OP has replied,

I just felt terrible taking Woody for a long run in the rain, knowing .... - this thread has really affected me 

I am hoping she is out taking her dogs for a walk 

[cazza]

I keep popping back to see if OP has replied,

I think we are all popping back on this thread

Edited to add - Hope you are OK Gemma

[silkstocking]

Awww Gemma I have to say, the title of this thread made me feel very sad for your cockers Even if it was said in jest I know that you have had many things going on in your life ( from your thread that was ongoing in Anything goes for a long time) but it's really not their fault and they do deserve to have arrangements made so that they can be walked

If they pull on their leads then you need to be working on that with them Milo will walk perfectly to heel if I want him too, stick him on a lead and he can be a b*gg*r and he as strong as an ox, so I have to work on that with him as often as I can.

I take out two cockers and a toddler on a daily basis and believe me, that really isn't easy, as they all run in different directions I know that sometimes it would be so much easier not to go out, when my daughter is teething and she is fed up, but that wouldn't be fair on the dogs.

There is loads of good advice here, and I know that you will want to do what is best for your cockers, so I wish you luck with that, and please how ever cross the mess makes you, ignore it and just clean it up. There is no need ( or benifit for that matter) to rant and rave or smack.

[Nicola]

As I see it you have one of three choices:

1) return your dogs to their breeder/rescue centre so they can be enjoyed and cared for by someone else

2) find temporary support so that you can make changes to your life in order to give your dogs what they need - either a professional dog walker, or perhaps find a responsible teenager to help you out thorough a local scout/guiding group, or youth church, maybe?

3) Make changes today so that you can meet your responsibilities and continue to do so every day. That may mean getting up earlier, cancelling classes you attend, less socialising and instead join a training class, book some one-to-one sessions, find people to walk with - all things that will motivate you so that you can begin to enjoy your dogs again  This is the hardest one to do, but in the long run, the only way you can continue to share your life with your dogs   

I think Rachel has given the best advice and pretty much summed up the options. I think it's been made pretty clear by now that the current situation of smacking/no exercise isn't acceptable and going on about that even more isn't really going to help, it's what happens from today on that's the important thing now. Only you can make the decision Gemma, I do know to an extent how you feel, I also split up with my long term OH last year and am still finding it very hard and I also live in a small-ish terraced house and have 3 very active dogs and a garden which resembles a swamp so seem to spend most of my time cleaning up mud and water. It is difficult and it is frustrating at times but I'm just washing a lot of towels, making good use of my wellies and waiting for spring and the upsides of having the dogs still more than compensate for it for me but that's just how I feel about it and it doesn't mean that anyone else would be wrong for not feeling the same way; if I really couldn't cope, I wasn't enjoying the dogs and they were suffering for it then I'd have to face up to it and reconsider my options for my sake and for theirs. It's hard but your gut feeling will probably be telling you what the best thing to do is for you and your dogs.

[Helen]

As I see it you have one of three choices:

1) return your dogs to their breeder/rescue centre so they can be enjoyed and cared for by someone else

2) find temporary support so that you can make changes to your life in order to give your dogs what they need - either a professional dog walker, or perhaps find a responsible teenager to help you out thorough a local scout/guiding group, or youth church, maybe?

3) Make changes today so that you can meet your responsibilities and continue to do so every day. That may mean getting up earlier, cancelling classes you attend, less socialising and instead join a training class, book some one-to-one sessions, find people to walk with - all things that will motivate you so that you can begin to enjoy your dogs again  This is the hardest one to do, but in the long run, the only way you can continue to share your life with your dogs   

I think Rachel has given the best advice and pretty much summed up the options. I think it's been made pretty clear by now that the current situation of smacking/no exercise isn't acceptable and going on about that even more isn't really going to help, it's what happens from today on that's the important thing now. Only you can make the decision Gemma, I do know to an extent how you feel, I also split up with my long term OH last year and am still finding it very hard and I also live in a small-ish terraced house and have 3 very active dogs and a garden which resembles a swamp so seem to spend most of my time cleaning up mud and water. It is difficult and it is frustrating at times but I'm just washing a lot of towels, making good use of my wellies and waiting for spring and the upsides of having the dogs still more than compensate for it for me but that's just how I feel about it and it doesn't mean that anyone else would be wrong for not feeling the same way; if I really couldn't cope, I wasn't enjoying the dogs and they were suffering for it then I'd have to face up to it and reconsider my options for my sake and for theirs. It's hard but your gut feeling will probably be telling you what the best thing to do is for you and your dogs.

agree with all the posts, particularly Rachel and Nic's.

Didn't respond before as I was really shocked to read your post.  I know how much you have said you love your dogs now and in the past, and if your relationship with them has deteriorated to this extent then I really feel for you but you must seek help - for your own sake and for the sake of these poor dogs.

[*Theresa*]

As I see it you have one of three choices:

1) return your dogs to their breeder/rescue centre so they can be enjoyed and cared for by someone else

2) find temporary support so that you can make changes to your life in order to give your dogs what they need - either a professional dog walker, or perhaps find a responsible teenager to help you out thorough a local scout/guiding group, or youth church, maybe?

3) Make changes today so that you can meet your responsibilities and continue to do so every day. That may mean getting up earlier, cancelling classes you attend, less socialising and instead join a training class, book some one-to-one sessions, find people to walk with - all things that will motivate you so that you can begin to enjoy your dogs again  This is the hardest one to do, but in the long run, the only way you can continue to share your life with your dogs   

I think Rachel has given the best advice and pretty much summed up the options. I think it's been made pretty clear by now that the current situation of smacking/no exercise isn't acceptable and going on about that even more isn't really going to help, it's what happens from today on that's the important thing now. Only you can make the decision Gemma, I do know to an extent how you feel, I also split up with my long term OH last year and am still finding it very hard and I also live in a small-ish terraced house and have 3 very active dogs and a garden which resembles a swamp so seem to spend most of my time cleaning up mud and water. It is difficult and it is frustrating at times but I'm just washing a lot of towels, making good use of my wellies and waiting for spring and the upsides of having the dogs still more than compensate for it for me but that's just how I feel about it and it doesn't mean that anyone else would be wrong for not feeling the same way; if I really couldn't cope, I wasn't enjoying the dogs and they were suffering for it then I'd have to face up to it and reconsider my options for my sake and for theirs. It's hard but your gut feeling will probably be telling you what the best thing to do is for you and your dogs.

agree with all the posts, particularly Rachel and Nic's.

Didn't respond before as I was really shocked to read your post.  I know how much you have said you love your dogs now and in the past, and if your relationship with them has deteriorated to this extent then I really feel for you but you must seek help - for your own sake and for the sake of these poor dogs.

Im sorry but I agree

I know it can be hard when you are unwell and busy but if never gets to the stage in my life that my dogs have even had as little as 1 walk a day. 

[pinkcarys]

Hi,

In a way I think you're brave for posting, as you must have known how people will react.  At least you are asking for help and advice so you know that things have got to change. I sympathyse wth being ill and not able to care for your dog. I have 3 chronic illnesses and when I am in a lot of pain it is very diffcult to care for Griffin. At my absoute worst he gets a short , 20 minute walk round the block, but not for days in a row. Just as a one off.  It isn't much but gives him a chance to have a sniff, pee on a few lamp posts and releives a bit of boredom. I also make use of kongs, play hid the biscuit under a cup, teach him cool tricks and so on. He is i training classes once a week so we practice exercises each day which helps releive the boredom. When we need him to leave us alone we send him to his bed and tell him to stay. (relax but don't move off that spot, as opposed to "wait" which is don't move and watch for my signal)  When he's told to stay he knows he has to sty in his bed until he's invited out and will happily stay for an hour or so. We started by training him to stay for five minutes then built it up. I personally think he's happier "staying" than being sent out teh room because he knows he's not in trouble, and he is still with us, but it gives me a chance to get on with things.

Griffin is a nightmare for doing poops in the house. Its our fault because we used puppy pads at first at the old house and since moving he seems tothink inside=toilet. All I can suggest (and as you know I'm a huge novice) is you get to know what time they need a poop and look out for signs they want a wee. If we catch him in the act we don't say anything (other than a swear under our breath) and just open the door and push him out. Then praise when he comes back in. We always praise him when he does go in the right place, even out on walks. These days if Griffin goes inside its because we've not picked up on the signals.

As for pulling, again Griffin is a pickle. And again it's my fault. I know he pulls so I don't take him on lead walks, just off lead. But this means we don't practice heal enough so he pulls all the more. I'm making huge efforts to make him heal and he's getting the idea.

I've fond out that this dog owning lark is all about putting the effort in. You can only expect your dog to give back what you've put in. I really hope you take the advice that the others have given you and make some changes that will be right for your dogs.

Best wishes,
Carys
-x-

[suzysu]

I hope you take all the good advice given  ..dogs are hard work but they give back a million times over  , please get some help if you are struggling x

[Trischie]

You mentioned being ill since Christmas. Is this a short-term thing which you will recover from soon, like the tummy bug everyone has got, or is it a long-term thing, like depression?

Some of the things you have written suggest that you have depression, especially knowing the emotional struggle you went through in the summer and are maybe still going through.

I know how depression can make you turn into a real monster, doing things you would never normally consider. This time last year I had to seek help, when I realised I was screaming at the kids all the time,  so although you are responsible for your behaviour, don't feel like a failure. You have admitted to your problems, which is very brave, but now it is time to get help.

Whatever kind of illness you have, either long-term or short, you should look for someone to walk your dogs for the time you are not able yourself. If this isn't possible, then you should think about finding a temporary or permanent new home until you are better.

You have bee through so much recently - you can do this to - for your dogs' sake and for yours.

Please reply soon, so we know you and the dogs are ok.

[Annette]

I am going to differ slightly in my response here and I hope I won't get shot down in flames for it.

When I read the original post my first thought was that you sound depressed. Depression can manifest itself as anger or short-temper/irritability. It also stops us doing some of the things we know we should do, and stops us enjoying the things we used to enjoy. This just shouted depression to me. Whether your post-Christmas illess was depression or flu, I do still think you are depressed now. Please make sure that you see your gp asap.

Please don't take any of the comments in a too negative way. They have all been made with the best interest of your dogs at heart, but I do not thing sending you on a guilt trip is necessarily the best way to go. The dogs will not have come to any lasting harm, but clearly this cannot be allowed to continue, so I think you have to either get yourself back on track, organise a dog walker on a daily basis or think seriously about allowing your dogs to go elsewhere even if only temporarily.

I, too, am depressed at the moment and I really do know what you are going through. PM me if you would like some advice on that.

If I am wrong, then please accept my apology.

[Pammy]

I know everyone has posted with the best of intentions - but I hope Gemma does come and reads the latter posts first. I agree with Annette. The situation needs looking at and you need to get help for yourself as well as your dogs. Only then will things start to improve. It can end up a viscious circle and a feeling of being trapped. It comes across to me that that is the space you are in at present. Please do get some help so you can start to see things more clearly and help your dogs too.

[Cob-Web]

I am going to differ slightly in my response here and I hope I won't get shot down in flames for it.


When I read the original post my first thought was that you sound depressed. Depression can manifest itself as anger or short-temper/irritability. It also stops us doing some of the things we know we should do, and stops us enjoying the things we used to enjoy. This just shouted depression to me. Whether your post-Christmas illess was depression or flu, I do still think you are depressed now. Please make sure that you see your gp asa

I agree with you Annette - I felt awkward mentioning depression when I posted, but having been there, and knowing how hard it can be just to get out of bed some days, it was the first thing that struck me, too  It is doubly hard when you are alone and have dependants who are relying on you 

[bracken]

Hi Gemma         You can turn this around and enjoy your lovely dogs   You have loads of support on here    don't try to do it on your own.

 Good luck and thinking of you  

Keep in contact    Jo   x

[CJ]

How sad.  I do hope everything works out OK.  I would agree, sounds like depression, been there, done that and the only good thing to come out of it was that I went back to work part time and was able to have a dog for the first time in my life (instead of borrowing, working with them etc. which was what I'd done for the previous 40 years!).  Then the husband got fed up, we left a big house, big garden and part time job and now live in a terraced house in town.  Boy,is it hard work at times and don't you feel lonely.  But they need you, they need you to get up in the morning and play and walk and let them out in the gardenand just be there for them.

Gemma, I don't know any of your background and what's gone before, but soon the sun will shine and the door can be left open for them and things will seem better.

I really hope you get sorted out and and you are all settled and happy again.