Is rehoming the only option?
Hello all,
I'm hoping for some advice and words of wisdom from experienced owners about whether or not to rehome my 11 month old working cocker spaniel, Ollie or whether there is more that I can do for him before having to resort to rehoming. I feel truly awful, depressed and anxious about it so would please ask that you don't judge and criticise me, I feel bad enough and don't want to feel worse. Please try and understand
I admit that I rushed into it and never expected it to be so much work and I feel terribly guilty and upset about that, please don't make me feel worse.
I got Ollie from a breeder when he was ready to leave his mum and I've had him everyday since and although I love him to bits I feel that the stress and upset that he causes massively outweighs the comfort and companionship he brings.
He is very excited and hyperactive and seems impossible to train. We live in a small house on a suburban estate so his walks are always on the lead and are restricted to walking around the streets which I know is far from ideal for working cockers. When he's on his lead he pulls so much that I can barely control him and he is so strong that he pulls me with him. Nothing seems to stop him doing this and it has reached the point where I absolutely dread taking him out. When he is off the lead he bolts so far in front of me that he can't even hear me calling him back and when he does hear me he doesn't come back anyway. I get so scared that he will see a dog on the other side of the road and run across. I'm ALWAYS worried and anxious when I'm out with him. His pulling is constant and at times my hands are red raw from holding the lead and trying to control him. I know walks shouldn't be like this for him or me.
When we are at home he does not sit still from the minute I get up. He paces around as if looking for something to do and nothing seems to keep him occupied enough for him to be relaxed and calm. He jumps on the couches and despite constantly putting him off the couch and telling him not to he just does it again and again. He doesn't go on the couch to sit and relax, I wouldn't mind that. He just gets up on them and jumps around or stand on all fours on there. Sometimes I just end up giving in and leaving him there.
When I want to relax he is jumping up at me so much that I can't watch something on TV or read a book as my concentration is constantly interrupted. A lot of the time he will jump up onto the couch where I'm sitting and actually stand on me with his front paws on my chest. Only physically picking him up and putting him down stops this, but then he just does it again. I feel like I don't have any peace whatsoever.
He runs around the living room and regularly knocks things over; glasses of juice, papers off the table, furnishings and decorative items in the home, basically anything knockable and within reach of his tail will be knocked and possibly broken. It has reached the point where I'm not replacing things that are broken or damaged because I just think he will do it again.
He is quite destructful and if not kept an eye on he will chew things around the house. When I first got him he would sleep in the kitchen, until he started chewing the bottom of the kitchen cupboards and the plastic pipe cover which conceals the pipes coming from the radiator. I decided to let him sleep in the lounge and the same thing happened, he chewed the skirting board. Recently he pulled a piece of floor beading off and chewed this into bits, I felt it was only a matter of time before he pulled the rest of it off that I bought him a cage and now leave him in there to sleep and when I go out. Caging him makes me feel cruel but we live in a rented house so really can't afford for him to be causing damage and destroying fixtures and fittings that I will have to pay to be repaired or replaced.
I try to keep him occupied with toys and chews but they don't last very long. He destroys soft toys VERY quickly, ripping them into shreds and leaving them strewn about all over the living room. The cost of having an endless supply of toys for him to destroy is ridiculous.
I have a medium sized grassy back garden for him to use but I quite simply dread letting him out there as he comes in and leaves a trial of black muddy paw prints right through the house. When he wants to go out he jumps up at the back door which jingles the keys which I hear and therefore get up and let him out. Sometimes he goes out for a few seconds and comes back in, so I close the door and sit back down, then I hear the keys jingling 10 seconds later, and he will do the same thing over and over again; make me let him out, come back in and then make me let him out again. This is absolutely horrible for me as I know that when a dog's wants to go outside he should be let outside...but not to the point where I am up and down every 30 seconds letting him in and out. Ignorance doesn't seem to make a difference as if I ignore him he just goes on and on.
I don't have many visitors at my house but on the rare occasions when I do I have to put him in another room as he gets so excited and worked up when he sees people that they don't actually enjoy it. He jumps up at them and will not calm down to the point that I'm embarrassed and uncomfortable about his behaviour. Then when he is upstairs he is scratching at the door and making so much noise, the after visitors have gone he is so worked up that he will run around the house and be extremely excited for a while after.
When I eat he jumps up at me and always wants what I have. If I am sitting down eating he will jump up and stand on me with his face millimetres from mine, every time I push him away he comes back.
When I go out he is constantly on my mind and I find myself rushing home to let him out of his cage as the idea of him being cooped up in there by himself makes me feel terrible. I feel that my life is not my own anymore.
After lots of consideration I decided to advertise him for adoption and arranged to meet two families last weekend. The first seemed ideal, a family living in a rural surroundings with their own land and where he wouldn't be walked but rather let out onto their fields to get as much exercise as he wants, chase birds and rabbits etc. It seemed perfect but after renting a car and driving 100 miles to visit them they didn't end up wanting him. They had another cocker who was the opposite to Ollie, very calm and placid and Ollie was just too much for them to handle. I had lined up another family nearer home so I took him there afterwards and they fell in love with him. I asked the father to take him for a walk so that I could leave without Ollie having to watch me go. It was a very painful experience. I had a terrible night and it was one of the worst evenings I've ever gone through, I was incredibly upset and felt painfully guilty and constantly shaky and worried whether I had done the right thing. Then at the crack of dawn the next morning the family called me and asked me to go back and collect him, I don't think they could handle him. I cried so much and now I feel like I am back where I started. The lady who took him said that during the night he was extremely distressed, unsettled and crying constantly which I was devastated to hear because the one thing that got me through the night was the thought that he will be happy and enjoying himself with his new family. Now I feel like nobody will want him and I'll be stuck in this cycle for the next 10+ years. I'm almost 30 and shouldn't be living like this at this point in my life.
When I went to collect him I took him to my mother's straight after. She could see how upset I was and said she would keep him for a few days so that I could have a break. I have been at a friends down South since Sunday trying to relax but all I can think of is the dog, whether there is more I can do, whether he will calm down with time, whether it's all my fault, or whether I am simply not cut out for it and he is better with another owner.
Can somebody please give me some words or support or advice. I just don't know what more I can do with him and I really feel like he is quickly draining the energy out of me and no longer brings me any pleasure. I keep telling myself it will get better with time but it feels as if it's getting worse over time. What can I do?
Sorry for the long post!!
Jamie
