HELP: Is rehoming the only option?

[lescef]

Hi. I second what everybody has said. It sounds like you have a very lively dog on your hands. If you are anxious the dog will pick this up.
Cockers are very determined dogs and you have to be even more determined when they are pushing themselves under your nose. If they have been fed, exercised, physically and mentally, then there is nothing wrong to expect them to relax by you.
All of the things you have described can be sorted with training but it requires lots and lots of work on your behalf. If you are near Runcorn then I can recommend K9BRATS. They are trainers, behaviourists and do agility.
You obviously care about your dog's welfare. Do not berate yourself if you decide to re home him. We had a collie at home when I was young which my mother could not cope with. He was rehomed. We were all distraught. The  feelings will subside and you will move on. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[moneypenny]

I really feel for you. Looking at it from a distance, I think rehoming is the very best thing for both of you. We had to do it once and it was agonising, but it worked out wonderfully for the dog. We had a muchloved Pyrenean who was literally destroying our house because we couldnt give her enough attention. We found a family who could take her everywhere with them, and she thrived. We kept in touch until our Pyrenean died of old age last year.
Dont think of it as a disaster -we all make mistakes and I think you might be better off recognising that it is not viable for you to have such an energetic dog, and that the dog would be much happier in a different environment.

[Fluff]

I think you have had some really good advice but reading your post I honestly think you would be doing the right thing by rehoming him through a reputable rescue.  I just don't think the two of you are suited to each other, not that you are a bad person any more than he is a bad dog, but your lifestyles just aren't compatible.

He needs more exercise and more mental stimulation.  He also needs someone who doesn't mind the muddy footprints and can cope with some general cocker madness.  I have a show cocker and she is  pretty well behaved but she does like to be on the sofa with me, she will wiggle herself into the gap between my face and a book if I'm reading and she wants attention and she does jump up (a lot!).  Thankfully, she isn't as (hyper)active as some cockers.  For that, I have a harrier/setter cross who needs lots of input and exercise which she gets but she certainly wouldn't be the dog for everyone and I don't think Ollie is the dog for you.

I feel that although you could take Ollie to training classes, he is never going to be the dog you want because it's not in his nature to lounge around the house, entertain himself, keep clean and enjoy trotting out for just a couple of lead walks a day, which is the lifestyle you are offering.

I really think if you decide to get another dog in the future, you should think about rehoming an oldie who would be content to lie quietly, enjoy pottering around etc.  We have a 10-year-old ex-hunting  dog we adopted a month ago.  He had been abandoned and seeing him come out of his shell and start to enjoy home comforts is very rewarding.

It's obvious that you care about Ollie and wants what's best for him and I think the bravest thing to do would be to let him go and be rehomed through CAESSR or something similar.  I'm sure they could find him a good home.  Good luck.

I have to agree with this. I have an 18 month old working cocker and she isn't a dog you get if you want a quiet life! She has bags of energy, she always wants to be involved in things and a clean house is a thing of the past!  Training classes may help with some of the issues, but it sounds like you may just be too mismatched to be happy with each other.

Working cockers are great pets, but they do seem to be very much in vogue at the moment and they are often very high energy dogs who require a lot of mental and physical stimulation. They certainly aren't for everyone, and they aren't really dogs made for a quick walk round the streets on lead.

[emderpenguin]

firstly, please please please don't beat yourself up for considering re homing. You are trying to do what is best for your dog and sometimes accepting that you are not the right home is the hardest part of that.

You have had some fantastic advice and as someone who does both agility and flyball I can vouch for the fact they tire out dogs. BUT I can also say they do take up a lot of your free time. In the period between Easter and the start of October I have had 8 weekends where I've not been either competing or training - and most of those was because i was on call for work. My agility club trains tuesday nights in the summer too.

I think you need to sit down and decide what you want you're dog-related life to look like. Is it one where you take a leisurely walk around the park once or twice a day and then they curl up at home on your knee or by the fire? Or is it one where you and your dog are out and about  having adventures, learning new things, meeting new people and dogs, spending weekends away (possibly camping or caravanning - i'm on my 4th tent!)

If it's the first one then a working cocker is going to struggle to fit into that picture. A show line might, or another breed but a worker is going to find that life frustrating and take its frustrations out on its surroundings.

[Joules]

You have had some good advice and ideas, but to be perfectly honest, it sounds like you have a very bored and frustrated dog    It is not likely to get better or change unless there is a dramatic change in his lifestyle.

Working cockers are not really best suitable to a pet home like the one you have described.  Unless you are prepared or able to take a lot of time and commitment to do active things with him, then you really have to consider his welfare and let him go.  A couple of on lead walks a day will simply not do for a working breed with high energy like you have described.  I have a show type and she is high energy too and she is 9 now  - she really needs at least a couple of hours a day running around off lead or doing some sort of activity.  Working cockers are usually more demanding that this.

I really think the kindest thing you can do is to contact a reputable rescue like Working Cocker Spaniel Rescue or CAESSR and see if they can find him a more suitable home.  I know it will be hard and heartbreaking but it sounds like he really needs to be in a completely different environment and the sooner the better.  The behaviour you describe is not the sign of a bad dog, but a dog that is totally frustrated, bored and unable to do what he was meant to do, which is to be out all day (or at least part of the day) being busy!

Sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but you need to put his needs first here and do what is best for him.  It does not make you a bad owner - many people on here have had to rehome dogs for various reasons - in most cases, it is the kindest thing you can do for your dog.

Good luck whatever you decide.

[sodpot2000]

There is an organisation called The Dog Barn at St Helens who do all sorts of dog training from basic puppy stuff to agility and flyball. I know absolutely nothing about them but they are local to you and might be worth a try. Your dog sounds as though he would be good at those sort of things and who knows - you might be too!

Don't dispair - I'm sure you will find a solution that makes you both happy.

Good luck

Rodney

[Helen]

I'm sorry you are having to consider re-homing your dog.  Working cockers, although very cute and sweet looking, are bred be active and bright and if their brains aren't exercised as well as their bodies they can become stressed, bored and destructive.

I would suggest rehoming or using his working ability and getting some gundog lessons.  If he is already hyper more exercise is not going to calm him down - he needs to use his brain more.

re - the mud - that's what having a working cocker is all about I'm afraid  :-

Good luck with whatever you decide - I'm sure he would settle into a new home.  He sounds quite anxious at the moment so any change is going to be difficult until consistency sets 

[JamieL]

Thank you for all of your replies and advice. As agonising as it is I really think that it will be better to rehome him. I have arranged for his kennel cough vaccination tomorrow with a few to letting CAESSR take him and find him a new home. In the meantime I will spoil him and make sure he knows he is loved.

Moneypenny: When you rehomed your dog...did the pain ever go away or does there reach a point when the guilt of giving him up will subside? I'm terrified in case I feel upset about it forever.

Has anybody here adopted a dog who'd been given up for rehoming? Will the dog get over it, will he be distressed or will he take it all in his stride? My impression of dog kennels are a doggy jail where dogs get very distressed.

Thank you again for your replies and kind words.

Jamie

[dawn]

You are making a truly difficult decision and big hugs to you.   


If it's any consolation I am sure a young pup will be very quickly rehomed. Have you contacted CEASAR yet? I think young pups are often fostered and not kept in kennels too.

[wendall]

I have rehomed a dog who was about 1yr when I got him. He came with many issues but I managed them throughout his 13years. He was however a very loving and loyal companion. It will hurt you but I`m sure its the best for everyone concerned.

[minimoo]

Thank you for all of your replies and advice. As agonising as it is I really think that it will be better to rehome him. I have arranged for his kennel cough vaccination tomorrow with a few to letting CAESSR take him and find him a new home. In the meantime I will spoil him and make sure he knows he is loved.

Moneypenny: When you rehomed your dog...did the pain ever go away or does there reach a point when the guilt of giving him up will subside? I'm terrified in case I feel upset about it forever. I took on a dog who for some reason the owners didn't walk her and she was left alone for 9 or 10 hours at a time (man was car salesman and wife was a policewoman) she was 7kg overweight at 2 years old and very very naughty, she would steal food, open child gates, move chairs to climb onto the work tops and much much more . she missed her owners who had had her from 9 weeks for a while but loved her walks and swimming and the lifestyle I could give her and is an extremely happy girl 

Has anybody here adopted a dog who'd been given up for rehoming? Will the dog get over it, will he be distressed or will he take it all in his stride? My impression of dog kennels are a doggy jail where dogs get very distressed.

Thank you again for your replies and kind words.

Jamie

[Joules]

Good for you, I really do think this is the right decision for you, and even more so, for your dog.    I am sure he will not be in rescue for long and they will ensure that he is placed in home that can meet his needs in terms of exercise, training and activity.  It will take him a little while to adapt, but dogs live in the moment and I am sure he will soon settle down.  In fact I am sure he will get used to the new regime faster than you will    As has been said, he may well spend some time in a cocker savvy foster home where his temperament and needs can be properly assessed.

I have never been in this situation thank goodness, but I know I would find it difficult to come to terms with.  However, you will have done the best thing FOR HIM by recognising that at the moment you are not able to give him the sort of home he needs , despite the pain it will cause you    That makes you a good and caring owner - never let anyone else make you feel otherwise.  I hope your friends and family will be supportive of your decision and help you come to terms with it in time.  Please do not beat yourself up about this - sometimes it just does not work out no matter how much you want it to, but just imagine how you would cope with this situation if it continues - not good for your doggy friend either.  Now, he is young enough to adapt and learn to have a different routine that will better suit his needs and activity levels 

Stay strong.  Sending hugs from here

[rubybella]

Have you considered Working Cocker Rescue ? They have loads of experience with working cockers and will know what type of home is right for your dog.

Don't beat yourself up about it, I think you are doing the best thing for your dog.

[sodpot2000]

If it helps you at all my current dog - a working cocker/cavalier cross who also has lots of energy came to me at 14 months old when his owners had to go overseas. I assume it was a work related issue. He is a dog who had been loved and cared for and that made it much easier for him to settle into a new home. It is rather like children going for adoption or fostering. If they have learned to trust and make attachments in one home it is so much easier for them to do the same in a new home. I have also rehomed dogs who have been abused and it is much harder for them because they have no reason to trust people.

[Jan D]

I am sure that he will settle into it much quicker than you will adjust to him not being around but rest assured I am certain you have made the right decision and by going through a reputable rescue they will find him a home better suited to his needs. Just because you could not offer a high energy working cocker the right kind of home doesn't necessarily mean that no dog is right for you and maybe in the future when the pain subsides a little you may be able to find a companion better suited to what you have to offer.

Big hugs for you and your selfless decision