I am so, so horrified that clicker trainers are behaving like that.... I was taught by Alex Kurland, the horse clicker trainer, who takes the soul and the spirit of clicker training - that everything is without fear and that we're building relationships - and applies it to every moment of her life and every interaction, with the horses, their owners, the lady in the local shop, the blokes digging up the road.... everyone.
She's an inspiration and I try to follow her and had naively thought that all clicker trainers were the same.
sigh
very good luck.
if you haven't read 'Don't Shoot the Dog', now would be a good time. Then anything at all by Jean Donaldson, but 'Culture Clash' is a good start, followed by her new one 'Oh, Behave!'
m