CockersOnline Forum
Cocker Specific Discussion => Puppies => Topic started by: Ninni on December 03, 2015, 01:03:02 PM
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We brought our 8 week old puppy home yesterday. When we picked her, we were told she was at the bottom of the pecking order amongst her siblings. Her sister was bouncing around, chewing things, playing and ours was demure, didn't want to come out at first and stayed on our lap. She did have a couple of walks around the room and tumbled a bit with her sister but nothing like her sister who was just a lot more confident, cheeky and I suppose what you expect a puppy to be like.
Now back home, she obviously haven't settled in yet and it's early days and is a bit stressed. She seems comfortable enough but she just doesn't do one attempt, or respond to ours, to play. She is not inquisitive at all, she just wants to sit on our lap. She doesn't play bite (which isn't necessarily a bad thing but still) She is just very placid and does not seem interested at all.
Is this normal, will she come out of her shell - or what can we do to encourage her to be a bit more active and playful and confident? If we just keep encourage her to play, will she eventually? We have 3 children so we kind of want her quite lively.
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It is a very stressful time when a puppy leaves its mother and siblings. It does sound like she is a nervous little thing. Give her time and don't pressure her as she might resent this. Before you know it she will be trotting around making you lives a real joy. Then the cockerdile stage will come and oh that can hurt!
Where are my manners, welcome to COL and do try and post a picture as we all love to see the new puppies.
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We introduced Humphrey to only one room at a time when we brought him home, so he wasn't too overwhelmed. Its very daunting for a little one at first - give her time to look around in her own time. She's probably just missing her mum and maybe isn't used to a busy household. She'll come round, just let her do it at her own pace.
O'h and yes - pictures pleeeeaase !! :lol2:
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Pebbles, blue roan, show type lives next door and was an incredibly calm pup who really didn't interact very much at all as a youngster. She also didn't become the whirling dervish cockerdile that both Pearl and Coral have been through (still going through in one case.....)
She is now 3.5 years old and other than being a little timid is possibly the sweetest, calmest most loving companion anyone could hope for.
As others have said, let your new girl explore on her own and play on her terms, which (if you are very lucky) may always be calm! As an aside, dogs that are allowed to "play" with children don't always understand boundaries as they get older - what is acceptable behaviour as a tiny, cute, bundle of fluff may not be so desirable when they are fully grown and just rolled in or eaten something equally as 'delectable' to them ;)
Photos would be good please! And welcome to COL
Jayne, Pearl and Coral
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You have to let her play when she's ready- dogs only play when they feel secure, which is why many adult dogs in rescue are 'shut down' and won't react to toys. Also I try to remind the children in our family (and their parents) that to a dog- and especially a puppy- a child is a fast moving, scary giant with a high pitched voice that's painful to puppy ears!
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Teal was quiet for the first couple of days, be prepared for it all to change :005:
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Teal was quiet for the first couple of days, be prepared for it all to change :005:
Shhhhhhhh......they are still at the honeymoon stage ;)
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:005: :005: :005:
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Be careful what you wish for ;) Give it a week and you will be on here at your wits end, wearing wellies and knocking back the vino :011:
Welcome aboard
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You are being lulled into a false sense of security.................
Lesley and Dylan
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Definitely a false state of security. It won't be long until when they do have a quiet spell you start to worry that they might be sick.
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When we brought Alfie home at 7 weeks he was very subdued for the first 1-2 days but it didn't last and soon he was whizzing around like a typical pup and went through the true cockerdile time daily!! Wait and see! However that said, some pups are just more placid than others but am sure she'll enjoy her fair share of play once she settles in.
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Thank you so much for all friendly and helpful responses! Last night she started to relax a bit more and this morning she is galopping up and down the kitchen with my daughter, biting our socks. Very happy to see her settling in!
Ps can't work out how to add pic
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Thank you so much for all friendly and helpful responses! Last night she started to relax a bit more and this morning she is galopping up and down the kitchen with my daughter, biting our socks. Very happy to see her settling in!
Ps can't work out how to add pic
So glad she is settling - fun and games now. If you go to the photo section of forum, you will see the Help and Advise thread, basically, you have to upload photos on to somewhere like Photobucket and transfer them on to here.
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:005: :005: sorry but give it 4 weeks and we will see you back on here saying heeelp I think I have a devil puppy , I don't want to spoil the honeymoon period but stick around we are here for you ;) ;)
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:005: :005: sorry but give it 4 weeks and we will see you back on here saying heeelp I think I have a devil puppy , I don't want to spoil the honeymoon period but stick around we are here for you ;) ;)
This :005: :005:
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I hope you are all right! But I'm still not convinced :( Ela is settling in, she is comfortable around the house and us, she eats and drinks OK, she is getting on well with her toilet training and she is lively in the morning and at night but I still feel at times she is a lot more placid than I expected. She doesn't rush about unless encouraged and she does not approach people, then she shyes away.
I guess I am still concerned because I have been reading now when choosing your puppy, you should NOT pick the one that doesn't come out or up to you. And Ela definitely didn't. The breeder had to go and get her, she was OK to sit with us but she seemed more scared than anything for the first 45 minutes, just sitting on us. The other one was playing, licking, biting, bouncing around within minutes.
So I guess I am worried that this is an indication of her temperament? Do you think in our, very lively, bouncy, family environment and with meeting other people and having new experiences, she will come out of her shell? I am just worried we picked the wrong puppy, and should have gone for the confident, happy, bouncy, explorer? The breeder did suggest she thought Ela would suit us better - I am not sure why she said that but that is what made us choose her I think. The other temperament would seem like a more natural fit in our family. I am just concerned that she will stay timid and not the very classic cocker nature - which is why we wanted a cocker spaniel - forever wagging tail, happy, playful and full of energy.
You talk about "honey moon period" is this the settling in period, how long is that going to last? I want her to be mad! Sorry, just playing on my mind still.
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There will be people on here who will be so envious of you with your quiet pup :angel: while they have to put up with the pup from hell >:D
Just give her time and enjoy the peace. The she devil will awaken :fear2:
Remember the quiet kid at the back of the classroom, they usually turn out to be the polices most wanted
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I hope you are all right! But I'm still not convinced :( Ela is settling in, she is comfortable around the house and us, she eats and drinks OK, she is getting on well with her toilet training and she is lively in the morning and at night but I still feel at times she is a lot more placid than I expected. She doesn't rush about unless encouraged and she does not approach people, then she shyes away.
I guess I am still concerned because I have been reading now when choosing your puppy, you should NOT pick the one that doesn't come out or up to you. And Ela definitely didn't. The breeder had to go and get her, she was OK to sit with us but she seemed more scared than anything for the first 45 minutes, just sitting on us. The other one was playing, licking, biting, bouncing around within minutes.
So I guess I am worried that this is an indication of her temperament? Do you think in our, very lively, bouncy, family environment and with meeting other people and having new experiences, she will come out of her shell? I am just worried we picked the wrong puppy, and should have gone for the confident, happy, bouncy, explorer? The breeder did suggest she thought Ela would suit us better - I am not sure why she said that but that is what made us choose her I think. The other temperament would seem like a more natural fit in our family. I am just concerned that she will stay timid and not the very classic cocker nature - which is why we wanted a cocker spaniel - forever wagging tail, happy, playful and full of energy.
You talk about "honey moon period" is this the settling in period, how long is that going to last? I want her to be mad! Sorry, just playing on my mind still.
If you've not had a dog before or for a very long time then I think your breeder has been very responsible in giving you a pup, that may need her own space to be calm from time to time but will turn in to a biddable beautiful natured girl. When Pebbles arrived next door it was mid summer and very hot, she barely moved for three weeks - to be fair she barely moves now :005: but can be taken anywhere and trusted in all situations.
The benefit of having a quieter pup is that she will also train your children - while it's lovely to see kids running around with a pup in hot pursuit - actually, what they are doing is training her to be badly behaved in the future.......with Ela being a calm little thing, they will need to be more gentle with her, perhaps training rather than "playing" which then involves the whole family.
To be honest, as Lorna has said above, I'm more than envious of you - I have two cockers both of which were more than lively as young pups: Pearl was the ring leader who wound the litter up in to a frenzy then sat back and watched, where Coral watched, assessed and when the rest of the litter were happily playing and distracting the humans went off in a different direction to cause mayhem!
Ela sounds a beautiful pup
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I had EXACTLY the same concerns with Humphrey after we'd picked him up because all the other puppies were rushing around and the breeder had to go and wake him up to give him his meal and I'd read what you'd heard, that one shouldn't choose the timid one. He's now 7 months is developing beautifully, socially he's laid back and confident without being over pushy, which I actually find much easier to cope with than the Alpha kind. Puppies do need an awful lot of sleep too, - that was also something of a surprise to me as I was expecting him to be jumping about and playing 24\7. I honestly wouldn't worry too much, she's still very young (Humphrey was 10 weeks before the breeder let us take him home), give her space to have time out and rest and if she doesn't want to play, leave her a bit and try later. The children obviously want her to play but if she feels pestered, she'll become anxious. Let her lead the way and you'll find, as the weeks go by, she'll become more and more active and need less sleep - its a bit like with children. Best of Luck! :D
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Just had a thought reading this, is she comfortable in her tummy, has she been regularly wormed, only wondering, as if she is not comfortable, that would have an effect on whether she wants to charge around. Some pups suffer in silence, and therefore although you know things aren't quite right, you are not sure why.
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When I went to get my youngest cocker , I originally went to look at a small black bitch, I asked to see the orange roan boy , he was sitting under the table quietly the black girl was playing with my other boy cocker and going crazy we picked her up but she just wanted to go back to playing madly with our boy. we picked the quiet orange boy and he was quiet for about 4 days until he settled in he was a slightly older pup at 14 weeks as was his sister , but then he just became a naughty cocker pup. remember its all very new to your puppy shes away from the place she was born her litter mates and her mum, I honestly wouldn't worry, just enjoy your beautiful little girl .
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Thank you, yes, I am sure you are all right, it's just me having a picture in my head and being a worrier by nature! I have never had dogs, my husband has however, including a cocker, although that was obviously growing up and not the person with the main responsibility. So, yes, maybe it was a good thing by the breeder. My husband is also more relaxed by her behaviour than I am, more like you, so it is probably just me.
Re the worms, she has been wormed every two weeks and she is due again in a week's time, however she is constantly scratching herself and seem distracted at times by the scratching and last night when she had done a pooh, she definitely dragged her bottom immediately afterwards. But she hasn't done that again so maybe it was just a coincidence?
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Re the worms, she has been wormed every two weeks and she is due again in a week's time, however she is constantly scratching herself and seem distracted at times by the scratching and last night when she had done a pooh, she definitely dragged her bottom immediately afterwards. But she hasn't done that again so maybe it was just a coincidence?
Personally I would be concerned too, I would give it a day or two then if no better, or you are still worried maybe worth a vet visit, if only to make sure everything is as it should be.
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I think maybe Maddie is like Ela. We were given her as she was the only blue roan in the litter and that had been my colour preference. Having had two lively cockers previously we did find it strange. She's now 5, doesn't play unless it involves food, and is quite an independent dog. She wasn't overly confident puppy but I wouldn't have said she was shy either. If you think Ela is shy, give her as many positive experiences as possible and when she seems calm reward her with treats which will help her confidence. In terms of playing -work to her strengths when you find out what she likes best. With Maddie she loves tracking things and sniffing out toys.
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Errr, so you have had this puppy for 3 days right??? :shades:
She is probably overwhelmed by the change and by leaving her mum and siblings. Give her a chance to settle in and build her confidence.
A few questions:
How old are your children?
Have you taught them to leave her in peace when she is quiet and needs to rest or when she is eating?
Does she have a pen/crate or other safe, den like space where she can chill?
Is she having plenty of sleep and rest time when you and your kids leave her to sleep? Pups that age sleep A LOT!
Give her space, plenty of rest time and GENTLE and calm interaction and play. Let her come out of her shell in her own time and I am sure she will become more confident in time.
Believe me, you will be happy to have a calm pup when you read some of the posts on here from people with children who realise that small children and pups can be a nightmare combination :005: There have been cases of people whose kids spent the first few weeks sitting on the back of the sofa to get away from the biting whirling dervish of a pup. Be careful what you wish for - a pup is not a toy, and they are all different. Very few of us have ended up with exactly what we had imagined when we got our pups, especially if not experienced with dogs. :-\
You have your pup now and it is up to you to do the best for her. If she is a bit timid and quiet, then you just need to be patient and let her develop in her own time. ;)
Now, stop worrying (pups will pick up on it) and enjoy your pup - the puppy stage will be over before you know it and you will wonder what you worried about :shades:
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Brilliant advice from Joules, but I would also keep an eye and maybe just get a vet check to make you feel a bit better.
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Errr, so you have had this puppy for 3 days right??? :shades:
I recognise that, I am talking about her general temperament as we are getting to know her and as she settles in.
She is probably overwhelmed by the change and by leaving her mum and siblings. Give her a chance to settle in and build her confidence.
A few questions:
How old are your children? 5, 8 and 10
Have you taught them to leave her in peace when she is quiet and needs to rest or when she is eating? Yes
Does she have a pen/crate or other safe, den like space where she can chill? Yes
Is she having plenty of sleep and rest time when you and your kids leave her to sleep? Pups that age sleep A LOT! Yes
Give her space, plenty of rest time and GENTLE and calm interaction and play. Let her come out of her shell in her own time and I am sure she will become more confident in time. I am just asking for advice exactly HOW to do that. I don't want to push her and I figured if there are ways of doing this "the right way".
Believe me, you will be happy to have a calm pup when you read some of the posts on here from people with children who realise that small children and pups can be a nightmare combination :005: There have been cases of people whose kids spent the first few weeks sitting on the back of the sofa to get away from the biting whirling dervish of a pup. Be careful what you wish for - a pup is not a toy, and they are all different. Very few of us have ended up with exactly what we had imagined when we got our pups, especially if not experienced with dogs. :-\
My kids are rather confident and sensible in general and very much so around animals. I wouldn't let them get in to that situation OR treat any animal like a toy. That goes without saying.
You have your pup now and it is up to you to do the best for her. If she is a bit timid and quiet, then you just need to be patient and let her develop in her own time. ;) Yes, I want to do what's best for her which is why I asked for advice here.
Now, stop worrying (pups will pick up on it) and enjoy your pup - the puppy stage will be over before you know it and you will wonder what you worried about :shades: I am not worried to that extent so that it would affect her but as a first time dog owner (myself, not my husband who isn't worried about this) I felt the need to consult experienced dog owners and cocker spaniel friends. I guess that is what this forum is for. We love Ela regardless of her temperament and enjoy her fully but as we found ourselves in a situation we had not expected or prepared for, I felt the need to change approach. I had expected a devil puppy and had prepared myself for that. Not a timid one and I am just trying to understand what I need to do for her now.
We had her Vet checked on Friday and he was happy with her so that's good.
Thank you for your advice.
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All sounds very normal and you sound like a very responsible owner. I sought more advice on here when I had a pup than I asked when my children were born! :shades:
now if you would just concentrate on uploading some photos which is a requirement of this forum, ok just it's members, to make us all puppy broody x
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So pleased that the vet check proved positive.
I think if you were reading some of the puppy from >:D threads, it must have come as a worry when yours proved to be a little :angel: in comparison. Sometimes the folks who do not have probs with their pups don't tend to post initially, other than to say pup has arrived (& is of course :luv: ) that gives the impression that all cocker puppies can be a right handful, so it comes as quite a shock to the system when your pup is not as 'normal' as you expected, then you start asking the reason why. Will say for the majority who post with problems, most of the pups have grown up well adjusted and their owners have survived all be it with copious amounts of wine and chocolate ;)
I hope you and your family enjoy your puppy/dog for many years to come :D
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I am pleased all sounds ok, enjoy that bundle as much as you can, it may be a very easy puppy to have. As an example Dexter our pup who is 6 months old went through a stage of really awful puppy biting which we were really struggling to sort out. I posted it on here and the advise I got was brilliant, so yes you do get a mixed lot of advice but you will soon see what works.
Now there is the issue of the pictures, we all love to see them.
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When Charlie was a pup he was very people focused (to be fair his human family). He was clearly happy, he's not keen on other dogs, isn't overly keen on people outside)...He's 4 now and it's still the same, sometimes he's very confident and other times he's not...it's just him...His lack of confidence tried my patience when he was puppy - walking was difficult...He has outgrown that thankfully. It's just the way he is.
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Thank you again for advice, it's very helpful.
Pictures - still can't load them, attachments won't work, sorry, I'm no tecchie and I don't have enough time to sit down and work it out properly!
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Ninni, I am not trying to offend you by asking questions or telling you things that you know, but you asked for advice. :dunno:
Actually, I have learned that you can't ever take it as read that people will ensure that their children behave "suitably" with a pup or dog. I don't know you, and you did say that you (and presumably your kids) had not had a dog before. To pups, children (especially youngsters) can be scary, noisy, unpredictable, intimidating, exciting etc - they move fast, have toys and food in their hands and are generally highly stimulating to a pup (or, a bit overwhelming to a quieter pup). It is natural for kids to run up to dogs, run around them with arms flailing and squealing etc. I have experienced it many times with Coco - she is a very (sometimes excessively) confident dog and was the same as a pup - the result was her getting over excited and very bitey with kids which was often not appreciated. :005: A quieter pup might find it a bit intimidating at first - at least until she is settled and used to it. ;)
Give her space, plenty of rest time and GENTLE and calm interaction and play. Let her come out of her shell in her own time and I am sure she will become more confident in time. I am just asking for advice exactly HOW to do that. I don't want to push her and I figured if there are ways of doing this "the right way".
By gentle interaction and play, I mean never being confrontational with her eg don't run up to her, approach her gently and not face on, maybe approach her with your side to her. Sit near her and play with a toy and let her come to you to investigate. No grabbing or pulling her around (obviously) but just try to lure her into engaging with a fun toy or game. ;)
Having a pup is a learning experience. I was a first time dog owner 10 years ago and like many things you have planned for, it does not usually go quite the way you thought. :-\ I know what it is like to worry about every stage and to feel so responsible for doing everything right for your pup. Far from being the joyful, fun and delightful experience I had imagined, it was actually quite worrying and stressful. During those first few weeks I frequently questioned whether I had made a terrible mistake. I think doubts are very common in the early days. However, I did find that once I relaxed a bit, things were easier for both of us and it did all fall into place eventually.
Sounds like your pup is fine, she is just finding her feet and so are you all. It is a question of her adapting to you and vice versa. In time you will find a system that works for all of you and then you will really start to enjoy being a dog owner. :D
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As Joules says, you just need to find a routine that works for you.
When Millie arrived, our routine was broken and things were quite stressful for a couple of weeks until we found a new routine that worked for both dogs. Now things are much better.
You will soon get to know each other and it won't be long at all before you couldn't imagine life without her.
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She sounds like a lovely pup, can't wait to see photos :luv:
One of the things I found is just how different personalities can be. Ben is loud, stroppy, demanding and loved to play as a pup. He was confident from day 1 :luv:
Harry was a rescue and came at 8months so I don't know what sort of pup he was. However he is just so very different to Ben, he is laid back and quiet, and waits to be noticed, he is not in your face like Ben.
I have to say I envy you having a more laid back pup, Ben was a nightmare :D looking forward to hearing about her growing up