CockersOnline Forum
Cocker Specific Discussion => Behaviour & Training => Topic started by: Deja_14 on June 13, 2016, 12:14:32 PM
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We have moved house and been in there for two weeks. Max is not coping at all :'( Whenever we leave him he is howling and whining and getting himself in a right state.
My mum lives next door and is at home at the moment so she can hear him and has told me how bad he is, I also could hear him on the phone while speaking to my mum. She has to go back to work soon so unfortunately can't doggy sit for us and we need him to get used to being left as he did in the previous house. I know he wasn't silent in the old house but I'm sure he wasn't this bad either, our old neighbours only ever mentioned it twice (we have had him for over a year at the old house) and my other neighbour (not attached) said she never heard him.
I have tried loads of different things, it's been difficult to try and train while we are decorating. But we've tried leaving him downstairs while we go upstairs and he hasn't created as bad but it's because he knows we are still in the house. We've been shutting the doors and coming back in and just ignoring him.
We kept his routine exactly the same as before, 30 minute walk in the morning, left him in the kitchen with his bed, his small kong and a dental stick. He used to eat anything we left but is now leaving them, a sign of stress.
We've tried leaving a blanket that smells of us in his bed.
A big kong filled with treats, he didn't touch it.
Tried leaving our other dog with him, didn't work. He clearly prefers human company.
Left him with the run of the house, hasn't worked.
Left him in his crate which he happily goes in at night in our bedroom to sleep, didn't work. He ended up in a worse state than ever!
We're trying to be strict with him and not allow him to keep jumping up and having a cuddle when he wants it as I've read this can reinforce the 'over-bonding', we've stopped him following us everywhere in the house too.
I am just at my wits end! :huh: I don't know what else to do, I hate the thought of him being so stressed which is making me stressed. I don't want to annoy the other neighbours either - I have knocked and told them he is unsettled at the moment and they've been understanding but how long that will last for I don't know!
He is left for three hours in the morning, I then come home for 1 hr lunch and then he is left for another three and a half hours.
He is absolutely fine when we are there, he does bark at noises but whines very little unless he gets excited.
He went to doggy day care Friday just gone and got on well there so I am going to take him there once a week to hopefully get him well exercised and hopefully calmer for the rest of the week. We don't really have the money to pay for a dog walker/day care for everyday and I'm not sure it would help as it seems to be when he is left alone.
The next option is to try one of those recorders that you can speak through to see if it would help him think we are still in the house and settle a bit better?
The absolute last option would be to rehome him as its not fair on him if he can't settle. I don't want to do this as we love him to bits but I would do it for the benefit of him!
Any suggestions would be appreciated
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I'm sorry to hear that Max is struggling in your new house. It must be very confusing to him at the moment.
Have you tried one of the diffusers for calming animals down? I have heard that they work wonders for some people.
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Someone I work with suggested that. I did call my vets to see if they could recommend anything and they gave me the number of a behaviourist, I called her last week and had to leave a message.
I will have a look online and see if there is a good one recommended.
We're lucky at the moment that he's only being left in the morning and then my mum is taking pity on him and taking him into her house in the afternoon and he then falls straight to sleep as he's exhausted himself with all the fretting in the morning! But soon she will also be at work and he will have to be left.
I'll give anything a shot! :(
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I'm sorry to read this, it must be so upsetting for all of you.
The thing that sprang to mind when I was reading your post was when you said you've stopped him following you around the house. How have you done this? I ask as you want the dog to make the decision not to follow you, not you physically stopping him.
We had to do a couple of things with Bramble who was fine when we went out but followed me everywhere and guarded me from our other dog.i had to go and sit in a room, she followed, as she settled I had to move into another room, she followed, when settled I had to move again. Eventually she got fed up and stopped following me.
The other thing which I think you mentioned is the 'I'm not available to you at the moment', if she followed me and I wanted to fuss her for being there and quiet, fine. Other times she followed me I had to choose to ignore her completely. It does all work but it's a very slow process I'm afraid. Good luck!
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hi all i have the same problem with my boy Reggie who is 9 months old he howl es and whines when ever i go out even for 5 Min's i love him to death but am now worry as nothing i do makes a difference the neighbours are starting to complain as i live in a council house. i have tried everything that has been surgested on her and no joy any advice would be great as my next step will be for him to go back to where i got him from :(
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My ESS Drake was 7 when we moved from Scotland to Heathrow he was the same cried and howled all day, never made a sound in Scotland before this. We were at the new house for only 6 months (rented) then we moved to our new permanent home just around the corner and from day one he went back to being his old self we never did figure out why
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I don't know if anything on this Blue Cross site can be of help: it's the one I direct new owners to after I've done a homecheck for a rescue dog.
ttps://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-advice/alone-home-–-separation-anxiety-dogs
Obviously you're dealing with real deep-seated anxiety here and it won't get fixed overnight. Many of the suggestions already made are excellent, don't overwhelm your dog with attention while you're together, practise a bit of benign ignoring even if you feel the demand for it. Up the exercise so he is mentally and physically tired and more content. Maybe a behaviourist can offer a different viewpoint. What I know from experience is dogs seem to see a stranger and often more frightening world than we do. I live in a village with lovely dog-loving neighbours where they will invite you in, dog and all, BUT the oldest house owned by the nicest couple- good friends- was a no-no for one of my spaniels. If I sat in their kitchen he'd fling himself at the door to get out and cry. Nothing would calm him. Something, a scent, a vibration, an association was scaring him. I hope you're able to resolve it- certainly explaining to anyone disturbed by the noise is the best thing- and keep them informed. Explain you're looking for help etc. And good luck!
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Hi lescef,
After looking online we were advised to 'shut doors' to get Max used to being in the room on his own with the door shut, this also in turn stops him from following us everywhere which was another thing to try reduce his need to be with us all the time.
We only started doing this because he was howling and whining in the new house so this is not a result of us not allowing him to follow us around the house, this is a result of trying different things to help him realise we're not abandoning him :( I think he would always follow me no matter what! :005: Even when I am doing my housework and moving all over the house he is always there.
We had a slight break through this morning, my mum said he cried for a little while and then went silent (could be a fluke!), it wasn't for very long but its an improvement. So we will see how we get on for the rest of the week. Hopefully he is slowly realising that we are coming back!
Hi Jaspa01,
I would perhaps attempt some of the things in my original post and suggestions from others. You have to make sure he is well exercised, training I think is a must so if you don't take him to classes I would enrol in your local puppy training classes. When Max was a puppy we did exactly what I've mentioned below, we fed him in the place he would be shut in (the kitchen for any accidents! :embarassed:), we would shut the door and leave him for a minute then go back in and 'ignore him' and just carry on pottering around, we built this up from 1 minute, 5 minutes, 20 minutes and so on. Also, initially when we got him as a pup he wasn't allowed to follow us up and down stairs (mainly because we were worried he would fall) but I think this helped him realise that it was ok to be on his own.
We have a lot of toys too which you fill with their favourite treats. I am sure there are many different ideas on here that you could find to try and keep him occupied, frozen kongs, etc.
Bearing in mind though that this was in our old house where he 'grew up' and now we've moved we have gone back to square one it seems!
Good luck to you too!
Thanks daw, I will have a look. We have tried leaving Max in different rooms but he is always the same. We tried the crate but that made him even worse so wont be trying that again! But as I said, he had a mini break through this morning so hopefully it's just a matter of time.
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I can strongly recommend this diffuser.
http://www.petremedy.co.uk/
It is cheaper on Amazon. ;) I didn't have a problem with separation anxiety with Archie but he was a very full on pup and this certainly helped. I still use it if we go to a new place or if I have visitors as he gets very stressed and would up. Both the diffuser and spray work well for him.
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You may not like what I am going to say. Everybody has got to do what they have got to do
BUT
This dog is bored and needs more attention. A half-hour walk may not be enough. These are lively working dogs.
I reckon you must give up lunch and work the dog for an hour instead.
How about finding a retired dog lover local to you who does not want a dog full-time.