CockersOnline Forum
Cocker Specific Discussion => General Cocker Spaniel Discussion => Topic started by: fluffball on January 28, 2004, 01:29:31 AM
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Hi,
We are currently a dog-free household (we do have a cat though!). We have three children aged 6, 3 and 1. The older two are used to dogs as my sister has always been mad about them and now rescues them, she manages a rescue centre.
I love cockers and I'm planning to adopt one at some point, probably once my youngest child is two and my middle child goes to school in September. I do not work.
My real query is that I would love to rescue a cocker but I'm wondering if it's a good idea with young children, or should I opt for a pup? Ideally I would prefer to rescue a dog, and my sister is all for it (naturally!). But I am unsure.
I'd also like advice on whether or not people think it's okay to take on a dog with a toddler of two? Is it too soon?
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To be honest, I think most rescue centres would think twice about letting one of the dogs go to a house with a young toddler - the rescue centre your sister runs may have a different policy though. If I were you, I would opt for a puppy from a reputable breeder. Again though, some breeders may not give you a puppy due to the fact that you have a young toddler. A puppy(and even a rescue dog for that) is hard work, and add to that the demands of a young child, well, I can't even imagine :wink: :lol: The only thing I can suggest would be to phone around breeders and have a chat with them about your situation. I'm sure other members with children will be able to comment from a personal point of view.
Good luck though with whatever you decide
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Some rescues will rehome with children as they do it on a case by case basis. I like these rescues as they tend to foster dogs out while they assess them (kid test, cat test, dog test etc.) so they get to know the dog a little and if there are any problems they will help once the dog is rehomed.
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Anyone taking on a rescue dog when they have a toddler (not just children) needs to be 100% sure that that dog will be safe with such a young child. A rescue dog would have to be fostered for quite some time to really test their reaction to children of all ages - it can take weeks sometimes for a dog to show certain behaviour traits. Many rescue organisations cannot take the risk of homing rescues with very young children in these litigious times - better to be safe than sorry. Fluffball, if you see a Cocker advertised as a private rehome (not connected to any rescue organisation), then be wary of any claims that the dog is good with children - it is not necessarily the truth!
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It also depends upon the kids as well. They need to be taught to respect a dog.
I know someone who's dog was beginning to show aggressive traits. Her hubby wanted the dog pts until thankfully she spotted her child one day booting the dog in the face (even though she'd taught her child otherwise). The dog has since been rehomed and is very happy and can still get on with kids but not those that show them any disrespect.
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Very true Penny - it's a 2 way-street. That's often one of the reasons some breeders won't let puppies go to families with very young children as it can be difficult to teach toddlers they mustn't pull Flossie's ears etc :) All families are different but from meeting some of those that come to see our dogs, there are a few I wouldn't let near one of our pups as the parents had no control over the kids & had no interest in teaching them how to respect animals :shock:
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Young kids can be so unpredictable I know I've had 2 !!
Personall I wouldn't consider a family with children under 5 and even then I have to be sure the kids are under a reasonable amount of control.
I know this sounds awful, but I had my 1st Cocker when my daughter was 2 ish and whilst she is a loving dog friendly child now, at 2 it is a different story.
Just my opinion & as a breeder I don't want one of my babies frightened into doing something they wouldn't normally do and thus being accused of having a "bad temperament"
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Its interesting that I got my 1st dog at the age of 3, which is my very 1st memory of visiting the RSPCA kennels (dire place in those days) and bringing home a young Lancashire Heeler.
Out of curiosity what happens then if you have a rescue cocker and then children come along—some sadly would rehome the dog regardless of its temperament.
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You were lucky getting your 1st dog at age 3 Penny, i wouldn't have considered my kids capable of looking after one at such a young age :shock:
Speaking from experience of having an older dog before my kids came along, and actually having kids :wink: I trusted my dog 100%, but he was 7 when I had my daughter and had never been raised or used to crying babies or tantruming toddlers :wink: Luckily he seemed to take it all in his stride and accepted my kids very easily. Saying that though, I would have never left my young daughter in the same room alone with him for a long time as animals can be unpredictable as can children. AS my kids got older, friends would visit with their toddlers and I always used to put my dog upstairs out of the way. This was purely for his benefit and not the visiting childs, as some of my friends kids had not been raised with a dog and did not know how to approach him. Children have no fear and can lunge and act unpredictable, a stroke from a young child can sometimes be more of a squeeze :shock: especially from those not raised with a dog in the family.
I would imagine that Cocker Rescue would try and rehome to families that have grown children or couples whose families are complete (so to speak) that would then minimize the risk of further rehomes.
Gilly
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Not all dogs are older when the kids come along. I felt having a dog to grow up with was a very valuable experience. I see so many young kids while out who are petrified of dogs as they very rarely meet them. My neice was 6 months old when they got their dog (6 month old rescue) and she also lived in a house with 5 cats!
A friend here got a rescue lab of a year old when her youngest was 1. Sadly Barney was hit by a train recently and the dog warden persuaded her to take a 4 year old goldie who'd just been dropped off at the pound (her kids are now 2 and 4 and it works very well).
If we all had to worry so much about whether children were going to visit us then to be honest no one would have a rescue dog. I think the answer I to be sensible as to how you go about it and introduce the kids with dogs slowly and give the dog space and peace of quiet when young children come to call (mind you I have a friend who's kids are unruly and she's told their mother if they treat her dog like that then they may as well not bother coming at all)
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I think times have also changed - a child getting nipped by a dog was not such a big deal when I was growing up whereas now, if a dog bites, it's a completely different story. When I was very young we had a Fox Terrier who was not very good with other children (though was fine with me & my sister) & he did nip a couple of kids once who were teasing him through the fence. I can imagine if this happened today, their parents might have demanded he be pts whereas then, the kids got a good telling off for teasing our dog. I got bitten at least 3 times when I was a child - once it was my fault (I was always trying to make friends with strange dogs!) & I got told in no uncertain terms that I was to blame. The other times it wasn't my fault but it was all dealt with privately by my parents & the owners & neither dog was pts. Today, the police would no doubt have been involved and/or the dog's owner would perhaps have ended up getting sued for compensation!
I can't imagine the RSPCA letting a rehome go to a 3 year old child in this day & age - all rescue organisations have to watch their backs a lot more than used to be the case :(
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my kids have never known life without a dog.. poppy was one when the first was born, I am a strong believer in children growing up with dogs.. but you do have to be carefull..
I do feel though that children that are kept away from dogs for a lot of their childhood tend to be more nervous of dogs.. IMO :wink: my two would never be without a dog in their lives and I would trust them totally with the dogs.. although ofcourse they are not entrusted with their care..they are too young, I just know they would never harm them in any way.
that said..I do feel that getting a rescue dog with young children has to be thought out.. as Jane said even though the dog may go into rescue with no mention of it being unsuitable to home with children.. this isn't always the case.. they do not always tell the truth when handing over dogs to rescue.
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The only thing I would say about having puppies with young children is that you have to be even more vigilant. You will need eyes in the back of your head and in your bum too :lol:
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I agree that growing up with dogs is a great experience and I think thats partly why I learnt to respect them at a young age. We have always had border collies since before even I was born but they all allowed me to ride on their backs etc and I used to be able to snuggle up to them. In saying that, all our dogs were brought into the house as puppies and I think that helped. My parents did think about taking on a rescue collie when I was really young but they decided not to. I got my first Rough Collie when I was 3 - I fed her, brushed her, made sure she had water etc, all with my parents looking on of course but I think that experience was invaluable. We had such a bond that I wouldn't have swapped for anything in the world. One of our border collies got a brain tumour and towards the end, her temperament changed and because I was only a toddler at the time, my parents had to make the agonising decision to have her PTS. That was the only time they ever had to think about my safety. I think every child should grow up with a dog but whether a rescue dog is the right one, I'm not sure. It just seems a shame to take a gamble like that. Nowadays, its one strike and your out so think about the poor dog - has to leave its owners, gets put into kennels, goes to new family, has a little nip due to anxiety/excitement/whatever, carted off back to the kennels :( The poor dog won't know whether its coming or going. But I suppose if you can guarantee its temperament is excellent then there would be no case to argue :? Its a difficult one :?
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has to leave its owners, gets put into kennels, goes to new family, has a little nip due to anxiety/excitement/whatever, carted off back to the kennels :( The poor dog won't know whether its coming or going. But I suppose if you can guarantee its temperament is excellent then there would be no case to argue :? Its a difficult one :?
Mind you even dog's raised from pup can end up in this predicament as the owners may not know how to deal with dog and child/adult does something stupid and dog nips. Thankfully I deal with a small number of rescues who don't use kennels and foster dogs in their homes along with their kids.
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Thankyou for so many replies, it's been very interesting reading them.
I must admit I am surprised that these days there is some hostility towards mixing toddlers and dogs, as if the two are a bad mix, yet I was a babe in arms when my parents bought their first dog, a Newfoundland puppy, and they owned giant breeds throughout my childhood, taking on a 2 year old mastiff when my youngest brother was one year old.
It was natural in our family to have dogs, just as it had been in my parent's families, and there are dozens of family photographs of us all lounging over dogs in our terry nappies in the 70's :)
I do find it sad when I read that some breeders/rescuers advise that only a puppy should be considered with young children, and then advise that a mother with young children cannot cope with the needs of a puppy, because this is basically insinuating that parents with young children are irresponsible to own dogs, yet there must be thousands of happy homes in the country where dogs and toddlers coexist blissfully.
I would NEVER allow my children to mistreat an animal, even accidentally. My older two children already know how to handle our cat with respect, and even the youngest is learning.
I agree with the person that said it goes two ways, all children need to be taught proper respect towards animals. Quite how this is possible if young children are not socialised with animals is beyond me though? I would be very upset if my children developed a fear of dogs. But then I'm sure there are owners out there who do not make any effort to teach their children how to handle and play with their pets and then encounter problems.
I suppose it's about being sensible. But like someone else said, I know several families where dogs were introduced while the children were babies, and it worked out very well.
I think we will give it some thought and make a decision in autumn.
I really am grateful for all the helpful replies posted here, thankyou. :D
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We didn't really help much did we, Fluffball :wink: :lol: I'm sure when the time comes to make your decision, you will do what you feel is right for your family. Keep us informed :D
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I do find it sad when I read that some breeders/rescuers advise that only a puppy should be considered with young children, and then advise that a mother with young children cannot cope with the needs of a puppy, because this is basically insinuating that parents with young children are irresponsible to own dogs, yet there must be thousands of happy homes in the country where dogs and toddlers coexist blissfully.
I'm sure there are many responsible families who can cope well with a new puppy & a toddler but sadly there are also many who cannot & do not cope. Most breeders could tell you of puppies being returned when a new baby comes along or of puppies given up by new owners who did not realise how much hard work a puppy can be when you have a demanding toddler to look after too. I certainly have had dogs returned in those circumstances & it is very sad for all concerned when this happens. I also know of dogs being passed on to rescue for this reason. Some breeders now have a blanket policy of not selling pups to homes where there are under 5s & some just look at each individual case as it comes up (as I do). Nobody is saying that all mothers with toddlers find it hard to cope with a puppy but the fact remains that some do & for that reason, some breeders prefer not to take the risk because for them, their puppies' welfare comes first.
Good luck with your decision anyway - I'm sure you'll make the right one when the time comes :)
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I totally agree Jane, the welfare of the dogs is paramount and I can quite understand that if a breeder has already had several dogs returned because their owners couldn't cope with the demands of the pup and the children they would feel wary of rehoming more pups in the same situation.
I just think it's a shame that people don't put more thought into dog-owning, as the irresponsible owners make things difficult for the rest of us.
I contacted cocker rescue to find out what the policy is with children and found they only rehome where all children are seven and over. I respect this as I'm sure the rescue co-ordinators are experienced and have good reason for their policies.
I think it seems we are going to have to opt for a puppy later in the year, this seems to be what a lot of people are suggesting. But I'll have to either find a breeder who will give us a chance or wait for a few years.
Thanks again for all the advice :)
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Hi Fluffball.
I got my Cocker pup (now 8months) when my youngest was 18 months old! It was quite hard when Beano used to play bite as Josh used to shout which made Beano worse !! But i did manage to get Josh to stop what he was doing and fortunately Beano grew out of the biting. They are now inseperable and follow each other all day.
And do check the rescue homes as Cocker pups do sometimes come up and they all do have different rehoming policies. I can vouch for this as i shall be picking my second Cocker up this Sunday from a rescue centre and he is only a pup.
Keep looking and dont give up. :D
Sam
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I can vouch for this as i shall be picking my second Cocker up this Sunday from a rescue centre and he is only a pup.
congratulations Sam!!!! :D :D :D
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Good luck Sam - I hope it goes well. As Beano is still a pup himself, I am quite surprised that a rescue is rehoming a pup to you as generally its considered better to add a puppy when the first dog is a bit older so there is a decent age gap between the two. I'm not having a go at you but it's not something I would recommend doing myself. Anyway, hope it all goes well for you - you're gonna have your hands full that's for sure :lol:
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Good luck Sam - I hope it goes well. As Beano is still a pup himself, I am quite surprised that a rescue is rehoming a pup to you as generally its considered better to add a puppy when the first dog is a bit older so there is a decent age gap between the two. I'm not having a go at you but it's not something I would recommend doing myself. Anyway, hope it all goes well for you - you're gonna have your hands full that's for sure :lol:
Thanks Jane. :D
Oh i know i will have my hands full and to be honest i cant wait !! Have done rescue work in the past so do know what i am letting myself in for ! and cant wait.
Its a bonus tha ti am at home all day, only go out for about an hour, so plenty of time to work on things !!
Samx