CockersOnline Forum
Cocker Specific Discussion => General Cocker Spaniel Discussion => Topic started by: Dexter and Davinia on April 22, 2004, 09:05:35 PM
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I am a 21 year old undergraduate female and eternal dog lover. I always had dogs growing up in Nigeria (West Africa) and I have waited a good 6 -7 years since coming in the UK, to feel ready to adopt a dog again.
I love this forum because you guys are so vocal about how much you love your cocker doggies and I don't at all feel cookie about my longstanding, passionate yearning for a dog when I read your posts. So I know you guys will give me the best advice.
I recently came to the conclusion that I was ready to adopt a dog. I did alot of online research about owning dogs including long term financial costs, travelling abroad with dogs (something I will definately be doing a lot of in the future), caring for dogs on a day to day basis and research into a breed of dog that matches my life style e.g. living in busy cities (London), living in a flat, no being too noisy, easily transportable, sturdy and can withstand a fairly active lifestyle with lots of change and new experiences, intelligent and easy to train, fairly reasonable grooming requirements, little shedding, friendly and loving. I fell in love with the cocker spaniel.
Please, please, please advice if you think that I am leaving any important considerations out of my decision to get a puppy! As an undergraduate, I won't be in school all day and I know I would take the dog with me whenever I could (I want to get it used to new environments from a young age). I am planning to work and travel as a freelance journalist when I finish my degree which again means flexibility of time. But I will have to travel alot - is this cruel for the dog or would it, if properly trained, come to love travel like me? :? I am also going to move to a house which I will be sharing with 2 female friends of mine, who are happy to help support me in caring for the dog (although they are not massive dog lovers), it will most likely have a garden but even if we got a flat, there is a lot of green in the area with are moving to, so a park would be easy to find.
Some friends have suggested I wait and not get it now, but my question is when is the time ever perfect to get a dog? I don't see my life ever being ideal in the sense that I will always have things going on, but the point to me seems to be how ready a person is to make a commitment to a dog. And not a commitment for right now - while my life is right - while I can accommodate one - while things continue to fit the ideal dog family picture - this to me is the fundamental fault in this line of thinking. Shouldn't the emphasis pressed to a potential dog owner be - Don't get a dog until you are ready to make the necessary changes, adjustments and accommodations to fit one into your life as it is now and in all the different ways that life can unexpectedly change?
I know that a dog would be a life long companion for me, one that I would appreciate having in the rather lonely world of travel and writing. I feel ready for one now, and don't personally see what there is to gain in me waiting. But I understand that my thinking may be biased by my desire for a dog, so I hand the decision over to you guys to make.
I am running a poll for 100 days. I will be ready to buy my pup in August 2004, you guys please decide for me whether you think I should get one or wait. Remebering that the price if you get it wrong would be one more homeless dog in a shelter, but if you get it right ... :mrgreen:
Thank you! Please help!
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I was going to wait and go with the majority :wink: but I would think, based on your post, that there wouldn't be a problem with you getting a dog. But then I have 3 when some people say i shouldn't have any :roll: I work full-time at the moment but my dogs can come to work with me at any time and I pop home periodically during the day to nip them over to the park. I live in a flat albeit a large one and my dogs probably get just as much if not more exercise as dogs who have access to a garden. Like you will have, I have a few big parks walking distance and the woods and beach are just a short drive away. So just beacause you won't be at home all day every day, I don't see why you can't adopt a dog if you are prepared for the commitment that they need - and I think it sounds like you are and you have thought long and hard about it.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
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I am planning to work and travel as a freelance journalist when I finish my degree which again means flexibility of time. But I will have to travel alot - is this cruel for the dog or would it, if properly trained, come to love travel like me? :?
Hi there and welcome to COL :D
You certainly have looked into this with great depth, and the above quote is my only concern.
I would say it depends on what type of journalism you want to do, as this would determine whether the dog could or should come with you. If you are intending to work within the UK (or even Europe for that matter with all the appropriate vaccinations, passport etc.) taking a dog with you shouldn't be a problem... you can usually find accomodation that is dog friendly.
But, and this is the big but, what if your job took you further afield? With quarantine still in place for non European countries, it would be extremely unfair on a dog to have this prospect each time you returned. Also whilst you are working would the dog be able to be with you, as confining it in a strange place would be, in my view very unfair.
One final comment, if you go ahead and get a dog I think it should be neutered whatever sex it is, so you don't have the complications of seasons, or bitches on heat and a male dog wanting to roam :wink:
A very interesting topic and I shall watch this one with interest. :D
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I have the same reservations as Michele - a lifestyle where you will be required at short notice to travel may not be compatible with owning a dog. Whilst it is possible to travel with a dog, you would have to think what you would do with your dog while you're working - sure there are hotels etc which accept dogs but you couldn't leave a dog in a hotel room while you worked & in summer, you could not leave a dog in your car so where would he/she go? I'm not saying it's impossible but it aint gonna be easy :wink: I think this is a decision you have to make for yourself - you cannot really ask others to make it for you although you'll get plenty of opinions I'm sure :lol:
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Hello there and welcome to the board :)
I have mixed opinions on this one :? I take fully on board what Michele and Jane have said, and these are issues that cannot be ignored, which I am sure you wouldn't do anyway, or you wouldn't have taken the time to post :wink:
Taking a dog on, is a huge decision and we can all clearly see you are looking deep enough it, and admire you for that 8) So many other ppl jump in first and think later :x
Ok here goes with my two penneth .............. I think that perhaps you should hold off, until you know exactly, how your job situation is going to affect your life! You may find it extremely hard work yourself with the travelling and meeting deadlines etc and although it sounds great on paper, it may become a real bind having to cart a dog with you on your working assignments :? Its good that your friends have said they will support you, however, how long can you rely on these friends being there for? Sorry if this sounds harsh, its not meant to I am just trying to be practical :) It is possible to have dogs and work full time, although its not ideal, you need very reliable sources of help, you basically have to think of the dog like a child, thats how big the commitment is when you take a dog on, even more so with a rescue, as the last thing the dog needs is to be taken back to the rescue centre :roll: But with the potential travelling involved with your career, this is only going to exagerate things to a higher level.
Have you considered short term fostering instead? For when you are home? Its just an idea for you think about :? :) It could be the answer, or maybe not :?
Let us know what you decide :)
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From my own experience of 20 years of house sharing I've found that you cannot rely on housemates to help look after your pets if they are not as mad about the type of pet as you. I rented for a long time and was only allowed to have cats. I was in the same house for quite a while so saw a number of housemates come and go and each time they always said they were cat lovers but I soon began to realise that there are cat lovers and then there are cat lovers and I think this also applies to dogs (and probably even more so). My housemates should've really said they tolerate cats and that was about it when it actually came to living with them (my cats are friendly people cats with heaps of character). You have to really consider the needs of the dog.
For starters a cocker needs regular off lead exercise per day come rain or shine which is a hell of commitment to people who aren't massive dog lovers no matter how cute the dog is—it isn't fair on the dog or the housemates to expect any less than this. If you're away would your housemates really want to always come home straight after work to see to your dog when they've been given the option of a drink after work and maybe something else whatever.
If and when I go away for short periods now there are only a very very small handful of people I would leave either of mine with (2!) and they are committed cocker owners themselves who can live with the various cocker quirks in the way I can. Either that or they go in kennels.
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Hmm a difficult one this one! I would consider myself an animal lover....but I am now 36 and have just bought my first pooch. I needed to wait until I knew my life had settled down a little bit and that I was prepared to give up the time a little doggie needs. I part own a house and share it with 4 very very good friends and we all love animals! If anyone of them were not as committed as me then I think we would have not got the dogs (we have 2, a cocker and westie) as all people in the house have to be prepared to give up time for them. Cockers particularly are gregarious dpgs and love people....I am not sure that mine would enjoy a life that MAY mean she doesn't me for a few days...(maybe she would but we always try to make sure that one or two of us are around).
Dogs need lots of exercise off lead every day...they need company. They like regularity and routine and ours get moody if circumstances mean their routine has change. Also you are still young and when the doggy isn't a cute puppy anymore and your work opportunites are greater and your ambition grows what happens then? The dog could become a weight around your neck and your career!! I don't want to sound harsh but I think you need to think that the dog could be with you for 15 years plus...are you prepared to give up a portion of your life between aug 2004 and 2010 to devote it to your dog?
Best wishes in whatever you decide
Jane. Jessie the cocker, Saffi the westie and Mylo the persian cat!
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Good points from everyone and I hope they help you reach your decision :D
Personally, I think I would probably advise you to wait until you have this lifestyle you plan - see the extent of your travelling and how a dog might fit in to this, also, from past experience in my own uni and post-uni days, sharing a house with your best friends can sometimes be an absolute recipe for disaster, so see how that goes too :lol:
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As the others have said, I admire you for putting so much thought into this :wink: At the end of the day no one but you can say yes or no, but seen as you asking for opinions...here's mine :)
I would say no :? why?? well I just think at 21 you have a few decent years ahead of you without any ties, and a dog is a tie, just like a baby. Could you imagine having a baby now??
I can totally understand your desire to have a cocker or any other dog :wink: You have a career ahead of you and it sounds like you are not completely sure what the future holds for you with regards travelling etc. I think you should wait and see what you make of your career first. Why don't you consider voluntary work with a local animal shelter in your spare time? I'm sure there must be plenty in your area. That way you can devote your love to animals until the time is right for you.
Whatever you decide I wish you the best :)
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the dog could be with you for 15 years plus...are you prepared to give up a portion of your life between aug 2004 and 2010 to devote it to your dog?
DOH - I meant to say 2020!!!
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I completely understand your obsession with wanting to get a dog and a cocker at that! I think it's admirable that you are giving it so much thought and consideration.
I was wondering if you knew any other freelance journalists who have dogs that you could talk to. Find out how they manage and what the drawbacks/highlights are.
My feeling is that you should see how you get on with your new job first and then see how a dog would fit in - if at all. If you get the dog, fall in love with it and then find that you have to give it up, it will break your heart, trust me.
Please let us know how you get on.
Loraine :)
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I'm afraid I'm going to say no too :(
Purely because although I admire the fact that you have obviously done all your research, you are obviously not 100% sure yourself about owning a dog otherwise you would not have posted here for our opinon and want to put the responsibility of (in your own words)" one more homeless dog in a shelter" onto us!
As the others have said I feel it would be far better for you wait, it is so obvious that you have a love of dogs and one day when you are in a better position to give one a home then I think that that dog will be very lucky to have you as an owner :wink: :D
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Thank you all for your replies so far. I am not happy obviously about what your opinions boil down to, in fact I am quite sad :cry: . But I know this is exactly the sort of stuff I need to hear before I take any action. While I know what I want - a dog, it is just my nature to seek really good criticisms or varying points of view about big decisions in my life.
Please keep your comments and thoughts coming, maybe a few more with ideas of how I can make my situation work with a dog :lol:
Thanks again!
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Sorry Davinia,
I agree with the majority, you really need to get your life settled first before you take on a dog, a dog can live for about 15 years and unlike a child they will always be dependant on you. You are about to embark on an exciting and unsettling career who knows what you will encounter or where you will be sent. You could end up with a dog that has to spend half its life in and out of kennels.
Michelle
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I'm afraid that I also would recommend you wait a while - see what your future career/path has in store for you. Waiting doesn't have to mean forever. Even with no career this is the first time that I have been settled enough time to devote a lot of time, training, etc to a puppy. (Hubby saying no until now helped with my impatience - have to admit he was right making me wait - shh don't tell him I said that) :roll:
By far my pup is more tying than my children are. Unfortunately a lot of people don't like dogs, are scared of dogs or have no good experiences of dogs and considerate owners - this limits greatly the places that they are allowed - complicating travel plans and social arrangements!
On the other side of the arguement though - with commitment, sacrifice, thought and forward planning you can make anything work - and having a dog is truly a fantastic experience. Would you be prepared to put your dog before your job? There will be times when you will have to do this. Putting your wants aside - do you hand on heart feel that you can offer a dog - a lifestyle it will be happy with for the forseeable future?
I do not envy your decision. Sometimes the more advise you are given the more blurry the picture becomes - I also get the feeling that you have doubts yourself at the moment?
Good luck with your new dog whether this year or in the future. :D
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The companionship of a dog whilst on your travels sounds great for you but a miserable existence for a dog. Surely it's not just about what a dog can offer you but what you can offer a dog :?:
Instead of expecting a dog to adapt to your lifestyle you could always make a few compromises yourself that would be more in tune with what would be fair on any prospective dog, that is if you really are that desperate for dog ownership.
Is the foreign travel aspect of your future job too important for you to give up ? If so, then I would say you aren't able to provide a suitable home for a dog yet and you should wait a few years until the wanderlust has subsided.
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The companionship of a dog whilst on your travels sounds great for you but a miserable existence for a dog. Surely it's not just about what a dog can offer you but what you can offer a dog :?:
Instead of expecting a dog to adapt to your lifestyle you could always make a few compromises yourself that would be more in tune with what would be fair on any prospective dog, that is if you really are that desperate for dog ownership.
Is the foreign travel aspect of your future job too important for you to give up ? If so, then I would say you aren't able to provide a suitable home for a dog yet and you should wait a few years until the wanderlust has subsided.
When I graduated I wanted the same as you and desparately wanted a cocker but my career and wanderlust took over and I did just that and waited until things had settled down before I got my 1st cocker.
If you do really want a dog so much then you will have to make the compromises and not the dog. Cockers are very adaptable but not that adaptable.
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Hi. i agree with Colin sorry :lol: :lol: I think you should wait until you are more settled and your travelling is over with. I don't think it would be fair to the dog at all.
Sorry just my opinion :lol:
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Would you be prepared to put your dog before your job? There will be times when you will have to do this. Putting your wants aside - do you hand on heart feel that you can offer a dog - a lifestyle it will be happy with for the forseeable future?
Thanks again for all the comments posted so far. Is this a choice I really have to make? My feeling is, there are many things that make me me. That includes my personal thoughts, family, friends, artists and authors whoes thoughts, feelings and life experiences I share, education and knowledge, writing, contributing to society and humanity - these are some of the things that make up what my life is about, and they are all equally important to me. Some times I have to prioritise one over the other, but in general my aim is to have a steady balance of how all these factors fit into my life. In other words, there is not one that is more important to me than the others - they all count, I guess they serve the same need in different ways.
If I got a dog, it would be as important to me as any of the other aspects in my life. Not more. I wouldn't prioritize it over my job - that wouldn't be fair to me but I wouldn't prioritize my job over it - that wouldn't be fair to the dog. Sometimes I may need to do one or the other. But that would be the exception, not the rule.
What is the life style that is best for a dog? I volunteered with Crisis Open Christmas this Christmas (shelter for homeless people), and I had never seen more devoted, loyal and loved up dogs than those owned by some of the homeless people. They were extremely well trained and I can genuinely put my hand on my heart and say those dogs were happy. And their homeless owners had nothing to offer them except love and affection.
Is the ideal lifestyle for a dog based on our idea of comfort as human beings? :roll:
And because this has been raised a few times I think I should address it briefly :wink: I don't ask for alternative opinions or arguments to my personal conclusions because I doubt them. :? It just makes me more sure of the action I take following a wide range of criticisms and appraisals. If I don't change my mind - I know even better than before what sort of challenges lay ahead of me and I know I am confident enough to attempt inspite of them. And if I do change my mind - then I wasn't ready to take up that challenge and needed to wait until I had the strength of conviction to either forge ahead with my plans, or make adjustments to the initial plan until I feel confident I can follow it through.
Your different views on the matter are very important to me. I guess you are all right about one thing - I have the make the final choice for myself :shock: I can't really leave it on your heads :)
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Hi Davinia
I know exactly how you are feeling. Just after I left home to go to University my dog (OES 12 years old) died. I said I'd never have a dog again but it wasn't long before I started yearning for another dog. I brought it up with my boyfriend and he told me what I knew in my head was true - it wasn't the right time - we couldn't manage student life and care proplerly for a dog. I returned home a few years later and my dad was dead against having another dog in the house. Not surprising considering it had taken me from the age of 5- 10 years to convince him to let me have the first one :roll: :wink:
I was 24 when we started building our house and I was delighted because I thought it meant that I could have a dog. My OH had other ideas and thought we should wait until we were well settled in the house (about a year) before we commited to getting a dog. I was really disappointed at the time that I had to wait, but now, looking at how things have worked out I know that it was a good job I had these people round about me who stopped my heart from ruling my head.
I'm a teacher and when I started work first, it took up a lot more of my time than it does now. Nothing came naturally, everything had to be well thought through, planning and assssment took me a lot longer than it does now - it's not a job where you leave at 5pm and forget about it until the next morning (believe it or not). If I'd got a dog as soon as I left uni I would not have had as much time to devote to it as I had by the time I got Morgan. Also when we first moved into our house we had a lot of things, such as decorating, to finish off, which took up our time in the evenings and at weekends. Much as I hate to admit it, and nobody had better dare tell him - Eric was right when he said we should wait :x
When you want something really badly it's difficult to be objective. If I were you I'd wait until I started the job to see what it's like - you may end up like me, where (for the first wee while at least) it takes up more of your time than you think. I don't mean to be harse but think about where this dog may end up if you were to discover, down the line that your job was not compatible with dog ownership :?
Whatever decision you make I hope it is the right one for you and your circumastances :D .
All the best :)
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I too was a self indulgent, self obsessed navel gazer as a 21 year old..... no bad thing at that age but totally impractical qualities for a dog owner.
Dogs don't deal with verbosity too well either. :lol:
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a self indulgent, self obsessed navel gazer
Dogs don't deal with verbosity too well either.
Hello Colin,
Thanks for taking the time to post. Am guessing your deep insight into the psyche of dogs and the young comes from the deep impact these influences must have had (perhaps still have :roll: ) in your life experience. I will be sure to bear in mind your views on communication next time I am engaged in conversation with a dog. :wink:
Do keep posting! :D
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Where are you considering the needs of the dog in all this as it all seems to be about you and your needs.
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One of those internet troll thingies, it would appear. Nice try, "Davinia". :lol:
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Is this a choice I really have to make? My feeling is, there are many things that make me me. That includes my personal thoughts, family, friends, artists and authors whoes thoughts, feelings and life experiences I share, education and knowledge, writing, contributing to society and humanity - these are some of the things that make up what my life is about, and they are all equally important to me. Some times I have to prioritise one over the other, but in general my aim is to have a steady balance of how all these factors fit into my life. In other words, there is not one that is more important to me than the others - they all count, I guess they serve the same need in different ways.
Davinia, I really don't mean to be rude, but is that not a bit romanticised :? I'm afraid we don't live in an ideal world, the vast majority of us have to prioritise things! Its all very "fluffy" to think of getting a dog and living happily ever after, but there is more to it than that, you have to prioritise as you become resposible for this living, breathing animal that relys upon you for everything, food, health, excersise, loyalty even life. Basically what I'm trying to say is that you hold that dogs life in your hands, please don't be naive and think that, a dog or any animal for that matter, can be totally adjustable to all lifestyles, they can't , not always anyway, why do you think there are hundreds of dogs in rescue centres across the country??
I hope you can appreciate what i'm trying to say, its not just your needs that you need to consider, you have to consider the dogs too :)
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One of those internet troll thingies, it would appear. Nice try, \"Davinia\".
Maybe I'm just having a blonde moment :? .
Am I the only one who's confused :?: :? :wink:
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Maybe I'm just having a blonde moment :? .
Am I the only one who's confused :?: :? :wink:
Me too Shirley, I thought trolls lived under bridges? :?
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Glad I'm not on my own, Emma :lol:
Colin, do you know something we don't? :wink: :D
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An internet troll is someone who is deliberately provocative on forums to wind up the other members :wink:
Could we all keep this thread polite & on topic please :) It's an interesting subject & the opinions given by all of us experienced Cocker owners may be useful to other members even if the original poster chooses to disregard the advice given
Thanks :)
Jane
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:? I get the feeling this has all been a wind up :roll:
Oh well, you never know, it may help someone else in the future :wink:
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Oh well, you never know, it may help someone else in the future :wink:
Exactly Emma :)
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Thanks Jane, I feel a little less in the dark now - you learn something new every day :D :lol:
I've found the answers given by others very interesting so far as I have been in a similar position of wanting a dog at the wrong time in my life - though I didn't realise it then. Had it not been for my other (some would say 'more rational' :roll: ) half I may have made a decision I later regretted.
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Would you be prepared to put your dog before your job? There will be times when you will have to do this. Putting your wants aside - do you hand on heart feel that you can offer a dog - a lifestyle it will be happy with for the forseeable future?
With reference to part of my earlier thread :
To which the answer must be Yes! I am not talking 2.4 children + husband and wife at home all day or any other scenario. This is ONE question of many that EVERY potential dog owner (or any other animal for that matter) should ask oneself. Even the most bizarre of lifestyles can include a dog companion.
Take the homeless scenario stated by Davinia - a match made in heaven - so to speak. Homeless person + stray dog = mutual companionship and the homeless person would certainly have time on his hands to devote. Not ideal by any stretch of the imagination - teamwork for survival though lets say.
I can't answer a lifestyle question for someone else - only the potential owner knows how much time can be devoted through the stages of puppyhood/adolescence/maturity/old age/ good health/ bad health/etc etc. I can only share my opinions based on my own experiences and based on the information given. I readily thank all you breeders that insist of 101 questions for your pups futures. So many people take on animals with a blinkered vision - ultimately the animal pays the price for a wrong choice.
I feel my question is a standard one and not critical.
I am desparate for pup No 2 but, good things come to those who wait - right now my time is for Brogan - (I thank Jane S for confirming what I already knew in my heart of hearts). Usually though when a weighted question is answered we invariably know the answer and it is usually one that we don't like :wink: Even grown ups can't do everything they want - as I tell my 3 children :lol:
Seems that a lot of us here have had to wait for our dream dogs - its hard being sensible - nothing is usually forever though.
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An internet troll is someone who is deliberately provocative on forums to wind up the other members :wink:
Thanks to every one that has taken the time to reply. The question is one that seems to raise alot of strong feelings and opinions. Many people seem to have faced the same dilema at one time or another.
Emma, I can assure you this is not a wind up :D
As for the internet troll comment, Colin was that what you were trying to do by making the off hand comment about 21 year old self obsessed, navel gazers, or the one about dogs not liking verbosity? :?
I am obviously trying to make the right decision, which is why I posted my initial message for you experienced dog owners to advice me. Comments such as yours, Colin, are unhelpful and of the point. :(
I would like to apologise to anyone who took offence at that exchange and thank all for their comments again. :)
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Should I buy a dog now or wait?
I am finding the poll misleading on this question - as there are 2 questions:
Buy a dog now?
Or wait to buy dog?
Both questions requiring a different answer. The poll answer depends on how you read the question = everyones interpretation will be different.
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Should I buy a dog now or wait?
I am finding the poll misleading on this question - as there are 2 questions:
Buy a dog now?
Or wait to buy dog?
Both questions requiring a different answer. The poll answer depends on how you read the question = everyones interpretation will be different.
..and from what I've read of your comments you appear to have made your mind up already
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As someone who has rescue cockers and rehomes cockers- cockers who usually come into rescue because their owner's work situation has changed - I would ask you to give this much more thought from the dog's point of view.
Obviously, I can't change your mind. But I was once a 'know it all' graduate at 21.
A quote I love - ' The young think the old are foolish; the old know the young are foolish'.
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You're looking at your needs, not the dog's. In my opinion, you would be better off getting one of those cyber pet thingies, or one of those life like babies that cry & you have to guess whether they want changing, feeding, burping or whatever. At least you can take the batteries out if it becomes too much for you.
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I think this thread has now gone as far as it can - replies which are overtly hostile are not going to make anyone change their mind! Sensible advice has been given & it now up to the original poster to decide whether to take it or not.
Jane