Ideas for shyness?

[Welsh cocker]

At 20 weeks Wilma's confidence is growing. Her preference is to be with myself and my husband, but off lead she will head towards other dogs and people for a sniff, and will play with other dogs in the park. On lead she will avoid people, and dart behind myself if anyone appears to walk too close to her   

Of more concern is her shyness in the house. She will happily sniff someone on the doorstep, but if they come into the house she will run and hide. Preferably behind myself. If she 'knows' them she remains skittish but may sniff their ankles after some time, not wanting to be stroked or given a treat. If she doesn't know them, she will cry as though she has been stood on (yelping) for a couple of seconds and avoid them through the entire visit. This happened the other day when my friend popped in for a cuppa, but when she went into the garden with her she played happily but then hid again on returning to the kitchen
She has the run of the house so she could leave the room, but she chooses to stay in the room I'm in (with the guest).

I wouldn't say we have regular visitors which makes exposure work difficult, but we have recruited Some family and friends to pop around, so she has someone come into the house at least once a week. I try not to fuss her when she acts this way, and she will settle and sleep near my feet when they are there (she doesn't seem to be on constant alert), but I would love her to be a little more sociable.

My previous dog wouldn't stop fussing guests and that became a nightmare, and now I have one that doesn't want to be near them and I am still moaning  Any ideas on how to get a happy balance?

[katie94]

We had and still have to a certain extent the same shyness problems with our cocker Rufus who is now 21 months. 

With a lot of hard work you can help Wilma to be less shy around people, we did the following with advice from on here and from our behaviourist.

Firstly if she is food orientated, when on walks and walking near people get her attention as you walk past them by feeding her little titbits of her favourite treats whilst staying just far enough away from them so she doesn't feel the need to re-act to them by darting behind you.  in time you should be able to walk her past people without any problems, but also be prepared to stop people trying to approach her which may scare her (difficult I know with a cute cocker!)

As to visitors in the house, ask them not to speak to her or make eye contact with her or try to touch her.  When they first arrive, if possible make sure that Wilma is in a different room, ensuring that they are sat down quietly when you let Wilma into the room, you  can then ask them to throw titbits in her direction without any fuss or sudden movements, they may have to throw them quite a distance at first and then over time you should be able to get her to take them from their hands (this took months and months with Rufus) If she approaches them to sniff then ask them to keep still as possible and when she's feeling confident enough they can offer the back of their hand for her to sniff and then take it from there.  We are at this place now a year on although he will fuss very regular visitors who spend a lot of time in our house.

Another tip we were given was to enrol in obedience classes and to try to expose her to as busy places as possible whilst trying to maintain her "safe" distance from people.

Hope that helps x

[elaine.e]

Good advice from katie94

My 4 year old Cocker changed from being fairly confident with people to being very wary of them following a serious attack by another dog when he was 11 months old.

Like you I don't have that many visitors to the house apart from a couple of friends and family who Louis is confident with. When other people arrive I shut him and William in the study until the visitors have settled. The study has a glass panelled door and Louis likes to watch what's happening from behind the safety of the door. Once the visitors have settled and I've asked them to ignore Louis, not even look at him, I let the dogs out of the study. William comes straight in to say hello. Louis usually follows but if he doesn't I don't call him in. I don't want to put him under any pressure. The decision to say hello has to be his. When he comes in he may approach the visitors cautiously or he may come and settle at my feet.

I've used the throwing treats strategy that katie94 uses and that works too. It's slightly more complicated for me as William is there too and I end with 2 dogs diving after the treats and getting excited. The important thing is that you don't put any pressure on Wilma.

When you're out walking you can help her by being proactive and not letting people approach her. I'm amazed (and cross) about how many people are convinced that Louis will like them ruffling up his ears and patting his head even after I've clearly explained that he's afraid of strangers . I have to be quite blunt sometimes.

I hope Wilma becomes more confident, but don't worry if she always remains a bit shy. As long as you have strategies in place to help her to cope without being under pressure she'll be happy

[katie94]

o try to stop people fussing our nervous/shy dogs is the hardest thing to do, like Elaine says it's so frustrating when people don't listen. We have invested in a yellow dog bandana which says "I NEED SPACE". This seems to work well when I've used it. Not many people in my area have heard about it so it's been a useful teaching tool too. They also do coats and just started to do leads too. Their website has some useful tips aswell www.yellowdog.co.uk

[Welsh cocker]

Thanks all for advice. Wilma attends obedience, predominately for the socialising aspect as we do a lot of training at home anyhow. So I will continue this.
I will take the pressure of Wilma...I am guilty of encouraging her to socialise in the house...a little more than I probably should. Hopefully she will come around at her own speed. I will also try the treat idea!

Telling guests to ignore her will be a lot harder. She's adorable  and everyone loves her. But, I'll try my best 

[Welsh cocker]

So proud of Wilma that I wanted to share her success.
She completed puppy obedience on Tuesday night and I could see huge changes in her confidence. She was even pulling on the lead to sniff people and other dogs (I was the only one celebrating lead pulling at obedience training) 

But today I bought a friend home and she sniffed him, and stepped back but kept moving forward to get closer! And then as we had lunch, he offered her a tiny piece of his tuna sandwich, which she took instantly, and then she ran around the coffee table away from me and sat by his feet! That's all it took! 

Ten minutes later, the Velcro came unstuck, and she wandered off into the kitchen to my friend, whilst I remained in another room. She was still unsure, but she's getting braver!

Thanks to those who gave advice. I have been using your ideas and I wanted you to know that it's paying off! (Let's just hope that I don't have to post for help with lead pulling and food begging in the next few months  )

[Mudmagnets]

So pleased it is going well

[elaine.e]

Lovely to hear that Wilma is becoming more confident

She may always be a bit shy, but as long as you make sure she's in her comfort zone and has places to escape to in the house and has your proactive and calm protection when she's on walks she'll be a happy girl.

[katie94]

Glad it's working out for you and Wilma is feeling a little more confident
 


I understand about celebrating things that others may find a bad habit, Rufus has just started to put his front paws on my friends knee so can have a treat! I know I shouldn't encourage this behaviour but it's taken a year for him to do this

[Charlie Pup]

Great news, we have completely the opposite and I am trying to work on calming techniques so he's not jumping all over everyone when they arrive.  Its funny how they are all different but with perseverance and training hopefully we will all get there in the end.