Confused Charlie

[michelle123]

As most of you will know we have taken on Charlie and he has been an    coping with new home, diet & exercise   

His old owner came round tonight to drop off the paperwork, we asked that they didnt bring the kids, which thankfully they didnt.   Since he went Charlie hasnt settled has been barking at the door and the gate (which has given me a headache  ) anyway, they have asked if the kids can come round sometime.  I dont want to be mean on them, but also and more importantly to us, I dont want Charlie to be unsettled.   I am not saying that they can never come round but was just wondering how long it might take before he doesnt become unsettled, if ever    or should we just keep putting them off ?

I totally realise that it is early days we have only had him a week

[MegandMolly]

I think Charlie needs time to realise that your house is now his home, I think his previous owners visits will confuse / upset him as he will think that he's going 'back home' with them.
Why did they want to re home him if they are so keen to keep in touch because they miss him?

[Cob-Web]

I kept Bonnee away from her old owner for about three months; fortunately it was a mutually agreed decision, so there were no bad feelings...but it was really important to me that Bonnee bonded with us without confusion  The first time they met was here at her new home, after which Bonnee was very cuddly with us for a couple of hours but nothing more worrying than that  Since then we have met up regularly, and Bonnee give her loads of kisses, but shows no signs of distress or anxiety.


TBH, I would be upfront about it; tell them that you were really worried about him after her visit as he was so unsettled, and you think it would be best for him that they don't visit for a while. I don't think it is fair on the children either really; Bonnee lived with a young boy who was devastated when she left, and came to terms with it during the period that he didn't see her so he is now able to give her a cuddle when he sees her without getting upset 

[cdpops]

Aw poor harlie, I agree with Cob web you may jsut have to be upfront, perhaps you could offer to email them pics and videos for a few weeks.

[angelbaby]

i agree also, rehoming  must be a trying time for a doggie, and seeing old owners must be very confusing indeed for them the longer the better in my opinion, if not atall, pictures will do for a while if they feel they really dont want to lose contact  x

[Worthy]

  I agree with what the other have said, I apprciate it must be heart wrenching to have to rehome your dog, people must find it hard to let go. The dogs needs however need to be put before there's and by keeping that tie they are undoubtly going to confuse the dog and prolong the pain for the children, you will never feel as though he is truely yours (more like you are temperalily  looking after him).

I would be tempted to swap e-mail and keep them updated that way with pics ect, but in all honesty I would try to discourage any more home visits. What happens if a few months down the line they decide they want him back? It would be a hard problem to resolve face to face. I can undrstand their concern and curiosity about him and his new home, but they have had the oppertunity to see him and check that he is OK so it IMO is time to let go (at least in the physical sense) 

[Cob-Web]

What happens if a few months down the line they decide they want him back? It would be a hard problem to resolve face to face.

Hopefully, there will be some form of written transfer of ownership document; I needed to give the vet practice a copy in order for Bonnee's medical records to be transferred into my name; and it did also offer me the reassurance that she was ours 

[PennyB]

I agree with the others about being firm about home visits and not allow any for a while and to be honest it would be better for both parties not to see him at all other than exchanging photos by email

I would also be concerned about how the children would react as well as it would be just as distressing for them if they do see him again

This is the main reason why as a rescue we never let old owners meet new owners and the rescue always acts as intermediaries with any correspondence.