Separation Anxiety

[JaspersMum]

Glad you had a better night with him, I've got 4 cockers but Charlie who is now 8 months old has been the only one for kicking up a stink about being ignored and thats despite having the others about so whatever happens, don't listen to anyone who says get another to keep him company - there are no guarentees that it'll work and you're as likely to have two of them screaming at you.....

I think sometimes we stress so much about SA that they pick up on it, it never crossed my mind that it could be a problem when we had Jasper and he was an   when I went back to work after the weekend, admitedly he was 9 months old already though.

I hope that today goes well for you, will the neighbours keep an ear on him whilst you're out so that you can check whether he bothered too much... you could find he kicks off because he knows you are in the house but when he realises you are not there, he'll settle to his chew/kong.  A word about the diffusers, I think they are designed to work better in an enclosed environment.

Someone said the other day that we may love our pupsters, we don't always have to like them though  

[sarahbe]

When I got my Charlie he was terrible- and used to bark and howl the house down. In the end I lost it and banged on thed kitchen door and shouted 'NO!'.....and it worked!!!........Maybe not the method to recommend! I was also worried about the neighbours and took advice from the vet. He said 'Close the door and ignore it'. Charlie is still clingy but much better. Good luck!

[supergirl]

Completely agree with JaspersMum,  Roly had Misha for company and it made no difference whatsoever to his behaviour, despite the fact that she was calm and unphased when I went out.  For Roly I felt it  was very much attention seeking as opposed to SA.

[Mudmagnets]

Someone said the other day that we may love our pupsters, we don't always have to like them though   
 
Like kids I guess - you will always love them - but not necessarily like what they do at times 

[Nelly]

This may be totally ignorant but what on earth is a dap diffuser???
xxxx

[supergirl]

This may be totally ignorant but what on earth is a dap diffuser???
xxxx

link to one below- like an airfreshner plug-in except that it gives off comforting pheromones for dogs

http://www.petplanet.co.uk/product.asp?dept_id=719&pf_id=6476

[sarah25]

I really do feel for you 
I have had a dog with SA and it was hard work and very upsetting at times.

Crossing my fingers you can get this sorted x

[coralee]

Hi everyone - thought I'd give you an update!

Well, I had to go back to work last week, so I was beside myself with worry about Harvey - I now only work 4 hours a day, and that first day back was fraught! But, I left him in his pen, with crate, with a kong, a DAP diffuser diffusing, the TV on, blanket over his crate and he was quietly distracted by the kong...when I got home, he was fast asleep in his crate  - I have no idea whether he howled the place down while I was out though!

I do wonder whether this is seperation anxiety or attention seeking though (as someone , sorry, didn't get name before I started writing this, mentioned earlier.) As he's so noisy even if I just leave the room - I wonder whether he's noisy if he knows I'm here, but if he knows I'm definately "out" then he just settles down? I've not received any complaints from the neighbours...yet...!

I wonder if you could help me with another query - well, there are several all in one!...

Harvey had his jabs quite early (his second ones at 8 weeks) I spoke with the vet who said it was perfectly fine, and I could start taking him out a week later, which I did (last Thursday) - I live on the Isle of Wight, so I'm really lucky to live 5 mins from the beach. I do know that I should be sticking to the 5 minutes per month rule, which I tried to, but so many people on the beach wanted to love and pet him that we were there about half an hour - the same happened the next day...he wasn't runnign around as such, he was just getting loves...am I hurting him?? I only ask, a I've noticed he's quite bandy in his back legs...of course, I care not if he's bandy naturally, but I'd hate it to be because I've over walked him. I had a cocker before Harvey, My lovely Riker, he went to sleep at 14 years old, but I can't remember if he was a little bandy as a puppy or not?

As always, your fantastic advice is gratefully received.

[coralee]

Sorry - I meant to ask as well, if I'm walking him on the beach - will that be easier on his joints...walking on sand??

[Karma]

I suspect that as long as he's not racing around for the 1/2 hr, it's not going to hurt - though I would still aim to stick as closely to the 5 mins rules as poss.  No idea about whether sand is easier on joints, I'm afraid....

Re the Separation Anxiety - I think a lot of Cockers don't like feeling they are missing something... Honey has no separation anxiety at all, and looks forward to me going to work every day, but she hates being on her own if we are in the house - she has to follow us everywhere just to make sure she isn't missing out on something.... she has improved as she has got older, and I can now go to the loo on my own, but she definately prefers to be whereever we are!!!  I don't think it's attention seeking, as just wanting to be with us! 

[Mel]

I am about to get my third cocker in a few weeks and I can only impart my experiences and hope it helps. I've not read everyone's posts so if I double up I'm sorry.

Keli barked for around 6 months whenever we left the house. He was brilliant at other times because there was always someone around, but not necessarily in the room with him. Being honest, he wasn't a major chewer of the wrong things purely because on the 4 occasions he did that I shouted, with fear, at what he had chewed so much he knew he had upset me. OK not the best way to train, but it worked for him. He was a dog with deep feelings and didn't like to upset you. But he very quickly learnt what was a "no safe" and what was "safe".

When we had to leave him to go shopping he would bark constantly, even though we left old clothes and a ticking clock for him.

I NEVER cried with frustration in front of him - I know it's hard but they see the reaction as a reward for their behaviour.

I used to go out of the room for a few seconds to go to the loo or a few minutes and as someone else mentioned vary the times gone and he very quickly was comfortable with me just leaving the room. He actually hated being shut away so when we shut him in the kitchen it caused a worse reaction. When finally we did our Christmas shopping and he broke free of the kitchen and was able to greet us at the door, the anxiety was lost. He did though, even in adulthood, get in a tizzy if we had gone out and a door shut and he was stuck in a room.

But please try not to cry. He will bark and whine, he's a lost soul. For the first couple of months of his life he had mum and maybe other adult dogs in his life and all his litter mates. Now he's with two humans whom he sees as replacement mum but he is obviously a little scared of you and obviously missing his mum.

Please try everything you can to not make him feel you can't cope. He is looking to you for guidance and coping with him will give off the correct scent that all is ok. Please remember dogs lives revolve around scent and humans give off different scents for different emotions.

If you are confident with him, you will end up with a confident and happy dog.

I am no expert and have made many mistakes, but have learnt a great deal and have seen the reward for remaining calm and persisting regardless of the noise they make. Huge hugs for you and hope the DAP works, it is very good.

[coralee]

Thanks Karma and Mel - I've decided to definately just keep to the 5 mins per month rule - just to stop my anxiety! I am very lucky, I have a fabulously funny and confident cocker - he's into everything, extremely sociable and a kind little soul. We have really bonded and I think the main issue is with my anxiety, and not his!! I have a real stone in my tummy when I have to go to work and leave him - but I tried a frozen kong today (chicken bouillion mixed with his kibble topped off with cream cheese) I left him getting really stuck in to it - when I got home, I had to delve in to his crate to find him fast asleep! As soon as he saw me, it was like all his Christmasses had come at once! What a wonderful welcome!

I hope the barking will wane off - because in every other aspect he is just perfect. He sits, lays down, gives him paw, even rolls over already (Will do anything for the teeniest treat!) he is such wonderful company and gives me bundles of smiles a day. I couldn't want for more!

Keeping fingers and toeses crossed!

[Caticus]

Hi
It is very difficult to know whether you have seperation anxiety or attention seeking at time. However if you ever get a really bad case of seperation you really do know about it.

Forrest was 18 months when I took him on from the breeder. He had been returned to her with the comments -he barks, howls, messes in the house and can't be left. She was very shocked as all her puppies have excellent temperaments. I have had dogs all my life, but was at a total loss with him. He was glued to my leg and wouldn't leave it for a nanosecond. Sleep was a no go and if he was left he weed and pooed everywhere. Luckily he didn't chew. I was told to crate him - big mistake, I have never heard or seem anything so distressing in all my years with dogs, he managed to cut his paws trying to frantically dig his way out in seconds.
When out with him or training/playing with him he was great, but the minute a door shut he went frantic. He was so bad that my daughter got a call from the neighbout one day to say he was hanging out of the kitchen window, stuck and screaming. We discovered in his previous home they had purchased a second dog when he was 6 months old and he had been left shut in the utlity room most of the time.

A really long programme of sorting him out started - the 10 secs in and 10 secs out, as well as the frozen Kongs that only came out when he was left. The dog bed on the landing was moved a few inches towards the stars each week, the routine for leaving was practised -always the back door so he knew there was no one in the house, radio on, kong in hand. It was a very long slow process with me doing a college course so I could work with him!

He's 8 now and we still have the same routine to go out, though a bonio will surfice now. He can be left for up to 5 hours now and just sleeps. He still sleeps in his bed in the spare room next to mine. However he can be shut in the dining room/kitchen when we are in and happily stays. He does still mess very occasionally when left in the dark (I forget to leave a light on) and something spooks him,, but its always in one corner in the kitchen.
A second dog doesn't alway pick it up. We got Ash from the same breeder 3 years ago and he's different again. He went straight into a crate in the kitchen and still goes in now when left and overnight. The ironic thing is Forrest will go in the crate too now! He's got so use to it being there he accepts it.

Its taken an awful lot of patience and time sorting him out and he's by no means perfect now, but I can live with the stage he is at. I found giving him lots to do helped so lots of tricks, agility, flyball and gundog work came into his agenda over the years. Pure physical activity didn't have any effect, he needed lots of mental stimulation, but without stressing him. I love him to bits and he is my once in a lifetime dog as he's so in tune with me, but I cried so many tears along the way believe me.