It haz comed to my attenshun that my muvver is a newrotic. I herd all the stuffs shes bin sayin abowt me on the cockasonline and kwite franklee I iz appawled. It iz veree much clows to slanda I tells ya. I neva tuched her daffydandillos, it woz the cat nekst door and I didunt pee a lot yestaday I jus saved it all up for wen she got home.
I iz a puppeeee afta all.
enneeways, I had my ferst advenchure as a comoonity dog today. I had my veree ferst meeting in da rayn an I got wet. We lookd rownd a big playse that had them grass fings on it wich iz ryt nekst to the beech, my veree fayvorit playse. We all decided that the big playse wood be perfik for a big partee for awl the peepull in the areeya and to rayze munnee for charitee. Mum is organizin it and I iz going to havs a big part to play. I even gets me own brite yello jackit to wear cos I iz veree important dontcha kno.
Afta ower meetin (and afta I shook paws wiv the markee man and put paw prints on his veree cleen and kwite smart yooniform), we walked along the beech to a caffee. I luvd the walk but wazont veree impresst wiv the caffee. The onlee playse for me to sit woz on the raynee floor, well, I wozunt havin enee of that and insistid on sittin on mums lap, wet fur an all. That’ll teech her for not bringin a towal with her wonnit.
Eneeway, we got a cab bak cos it was a bit too far for me paws to carree me, you see, I iz only small and I iz a puppeee afta all.
I iz now jus figoorin out how I’m goin to get me my briyt yellow jackit for my veree importunt role at the partee wich they iz callin a regatta…I got to say, I wozunt much intrestid in the convursashun until they sed summit abowt a barbeekoo. I lyk the sownd of that word and thinks I myt ask wevver my veree importunt role cood be to look afta dis barbeekoo fing and mayk shoor itz okay. It myt need sum help, wotcha fink?
Eneeway, I iz goin to finish dis now cos itz tym for me to go and choo summit.
Nekst tym me muvva tells yoo I haz bin norty…downt beleev her…cos I iz a perfik aynjel, look at me for goodnez sayk
p.s. pleez ekskooz me spellin, i iz not veree academik an mor of an artee tipe
