Neighbours

[Holmes]

If you have read any of my other posts you'll know I've been concerned that Sherlock has been making some noise whilst we are out at work. Well at 5.38 this morning it was confirmed.

As some of you are aware Sherlock is nearly 5 months old now and has been unwell recently. This has meant his Poo times have been inconsistent, and so he has been waking up earlier than usually. Most days it has been between 6:30 and 7:00, but today as he needed a poo he woke up at 5:30. Like a mother is tuned in to a new born babies cries, I am also tuned into Sherlock and so the second he starts whining I'm up straight away switch the hall light on, which usually stops him immediately, I then trot off downstairs to let him out etc.  he can only be making noise for about 5-10 seconds. This has been the routine since we got him, although it is usually an hour or so later than the 5:30 wake up call it was this morning, and before he was poorly there we're an increasing number of days where I had to wake him up.

This morning because it was so early I put him back in his crate, I've had to do this a handful of times and it has always been fine, he goes straight off to sleep. However this morning he started whining/howling. I thought I'd try leaving him, but in the end had no choice as 30 seconds later there was huge continuous banging on the bedroom wall and a shout of 'will you shut that f£&?!ing dog up!'  So he is now asleep next to me in bed, which we have been really keen to avoid, and which no doubt my partner will go mad about when he gets back from his night shift shortly.

So as I sit here on the edge of tears, with a million and one concerns flying around my head, I am wondering how to approach this. I can only assume he has been barking during the day, as there's no actual evidence that he has been doing, his crate is not messed up, he is quiet when I close the door behind me and quiet as I turn the key to open it, but I am guessing he must have been to warrant this reaction from her (the neighbour).

I'm really at a loss as to what to do, she's not a reasonable women and so a polite note, conversation is  unlikely to work. I mean someone who shouts that at 5:40 in the morning with their children next door is not in my opinion someone who I am going to be able to have a mature conversation with. I can empathise with her if Sherlock has been making lots of noise, but in the mornings it is almost always a maximum of 5-10 seconds before we see to him, for the very reason that I am conscious of her and the children. Also, I am unhappy that she has not approached me sooner rather than let this happen, she saw me in the street the other day and could have said something then but instead ignored me (now I know why). We introduced him the day after we got,him, and apologised about any noise there might have been, but I guess the he was cute puppy (he still is to me) and so they said they didn't mind, and had really heard anything anyway.

I'm really sorry about the length of this MSG, but I wanted to give you all the details in the hope that someone would have some advice about how to move forward, as I really don't know what we can do. Sherlock already goes to doggy day care twice a week, and has a dog walker twice a day or goes to the my partners parents, on the days when both myself and my partner are working, so he is rarely alone.

Any help or advice at all would be greatly appreciated 

Thanks

[debbiedaywalker]

Poor you  how awful for you, she sounds very immature and insensitive, it should be her feeling bad, not you. It should be her that makes the first move and apologise, but if that doesn't happen, you could explain to her that Sherlock is only a baby and will occasionally make noise, but You will endeavour to do all you can to keep that to a minimum. So can she please bear with you through this young stage in his life, as you do with her children, I'm sure you hear them occasionally too!
Might be difficult face to face if she is the 'unapproachable' type, so perhaps drop her a note? However you decide to approach this I hope it goes well 

[jaybee]

In no way am I condoning her behaviour but I can sort of understand her reaction. I'm sure we all have some experience of being ratty and annoyed when over tired/unexpectedly woken? You do need to get this sorted with her ASAP because the longer it is left the more difficult it will probably be. Can you perhaps meet on neutral ground and at least try and discuss it? I can't really see there being anyway through it. Sherlock is still only a baby like you say, I think you should at least try and sit down and talk through the problem with the neighbour. Unfortunately, if Sherlock is making noise during the day they are able to approach the relevant authorities to report it. Stay calm, reasonable and try and find a solution with her before it reaches that point. Are you able to leave a camera running while you're out? Then you could see if he does make lots of noise?

I'm so sorry you're going through this it must be very stressful, but all I'm saying is try and stay reasonable and be the mature one. Good luck

[jaybee]

Sorry, meant to say 'I really can't see any other way through it'.

Also, try and remember not everyone is a dog person, they might not know about sherlocks's recent health problems, and might not know about the developmental stages of a puppy. She might be the most unreasonable woman on the earth, i don't know, but i think you have to try. Having a bad relationship with your neighbours can be a nightmare

 

[Holmes]

Thanks for the replies and support  It is just awful, I worry constantly anyway sp this is sending me into a panic 

My partner has just got back and is going to call round on his way out to walk Sherlock. I've asked him to explain that we are doing all we can and that we are being as considerate as possible, given that the trainers advice is to leave him barking but we rush down the second we here him precisely because we are mindful of them.

Will see what happens.

[jaybee]

It is very tricky isn't it. I know how you feel, our neighbour mentioned the other day that she heard Bingley barking and I was mortified, thankfully we've had a chat now.

I hope your partner manages to have a little talk with them. Let us know how you get on
x

[Catie74]

Sorry your feeling worried about this.  At first of all, you don't actually know if Sherlock has been barking when your not there. Your neighbour banged on the wall when it was very early so could well be as a result of that.  She was probably tired and did not appreciate being woken up so early.  I would go and speak to her.  Try just simply saying something like 'I'm so sorry about this morning, Sherlock has been ill but hopefully on the mend now'  This then gives her the chance to mention any other problems.  If your really worried then perhaps take a small bunch of flowers of chocolates as a good will gesture.  Don't worry until you know the facts you only assume Sherlock is barking when you are out, no one has told you.  Goodluck.

[Holmes]

Well he ran into the husband on the way to work.

He apologised a lot apparently, and said his wife is a bad sleeper. My partner explained what I asked him to and the neighbour didn't really say anything back  He asked why Sherlock barks (it isn't a bark, it's a whine, and very occasionally if I can't get to him in 10 seconds coz I'm routing around for a jumper, it might turn into a howl), my partner just explained it's because he's a puppy and he is still learning/being trained. He forgot to invite him round tonight though, but I guess that's a good thing as it leaves us somewhere to go to if it continues to cause a problem.

Debbie, we hear her children all the time! Not once have we complained, as we understand it can be tough with young children and that they will grow out of it eventually. 

A yor any ideas on how to stop him whining when he wakes up, or how to get him to wake up earlier? 

[Homebird]

My neighbour mentioned that she heard Jessie bark when I let her into the garden at 10 pm - but she found it comforting as she lives on her own and is elderly - she knew I was just next door so felt less alone.

It is hard with neighbours - babies crying can be even worse sometimes but with houses so small and close together it is a problem that is hard to avoid.  Jessie barked at night after one op for months and I felt unable to take her on holiday unless it was to a detached chalet or lodge, or kept her close to me so whe wouldn't do it.  She never got over the stress of pyometra I think.  Luckily our house is detached and the neighbours said they never heard her.

I don't like having to go around the garden with a poop scoop to clear up after the local cats - now the dog has died there is mess in the front and back gardens.  But I don't go around complaining to them!  We all have to try and live near each other and try and get on - but I have had difficult neighbours in the past and had to move to solve the problem.

[kalami]

Have you got a room away fom the neighbours he can sleep in? When my mother in law had a puppy she was a barker, howler etc, the neighbours were horrible (horrible people anyway but made worse by puppy) so we moved the puppy into the dining room which was way fom neighbours.

As for when you're out how do you know he's been barking? If her kids are running around she might not even hear.
Someone on here set up a camera or iPad I think and recorded what the dog did, could you do that, at least then you'd know.

I must say though and feel a bit bad but can understand where your neighbour is coming from, there's a dog on the next street to us, although isn't too bad always barks when let out, during the day and evening don't really notice it but at 11pm when it wakes you up it's pretty annoying. Frequently it's later than this and can be as late as 1am / 2am.
I thought maybe it was just me being irritable as not particularly sleeping well over last few months but other neighbours have commented, it's not as if we're not used to dogs either as every other house has one or two dogs.

[debbiedaywalker]

Well he ran into the husband on the way to work.

He apologised a lot apparently, and said his wife is a bad sleeper. My partner explained what I asked him to and the neighbour didn't really say anything back  He asked why Sherlock barks (it isn't a bark, it's a whine, and very occasionally if I can't get to him in 10 seconds coz I'm routing around for a jumper, it might turn into a howl), my partner just explained it's because he's a puppy and he is still learning/being trained. He forgot to invite him round tonight though, but I guess that's a good thing as it leaves us somewhere to go to if it continues to cause a problem.

Debbie, we hear her children all the time! Not once have we complained, as we understand it can be tough with young children and that they will grow out of it eventually. 

A yor any ideas on how to stop him whining when he wakes up, or how to get him to wake up earlier? 

So nice that he apologised but he obviously doesn't understand that puppies are very much like children, they have little self control and make noise it would be nice if they now show you the same consideration that you show them  
It's a myth that puppies 'only cry for a couple of nights then settle' in my experience anyway   Sherlock will grow out of it eventually, it depends on how determined he is   we had to give in with Dexter (he was/is very determined  ) and have a small pen in our bedroom, we moved house when he was about one and he didn't bat an eyelid about being on his own in his new bedroom  

[SophieBlueRoanLover]

Oh you poor thing! Hopefully the conversation your husband has had will have helped.

When I first got my puppy I got a passive-aggressive email from my downstairs neighbour asking me not to let the dog use the front yard (tiny, covered in gravel) as a toilet. I felt quite annoyed, but wrote back explaining that I couldn't let him out until he'd had his jabs, and that it would only be a few weeks until he would be gone from there. He wrote back almost apologising, explaining that he was totally unaware of the jabs things. I guess some people are just not dog owners and have no idea what having a puppy's like. Most people would put up with a baby screaming but not a puppy (and for me my puppy is my baby!!).

I struggled with trying to crate my pup during the day, exactly for the reason of not wanting to p*ss off the neighbours (I live in a first floor flat in a Victorian terrace, with neighbours upstairs, downstairs and on either side!). The only complaint I had was one evening (about 8pm) when we tried to crate him and he barked and barked and barked. The neighbour on one side then banged on the (thick) wall. I think we probably let him out, but I've been nervous to do it since! I also left a card for my upstairs neighbours (most likely to hear him) with some earplugs and they have never complained once (they are dog people).
Fortunately now at 5.5 months he seems less barky and we've left him alone a few times recently (not in the crate) and videoed him - he's only barked a couple of times and whined a bit, but either played with toys, pottered about a bit restlessly, or curled up and gone to sleep.

I definitely recommend trying to tape him while you're out - you need a full battery and large memory card so it doesn't cut out after 5 minutes! Then you'll be able to see how he behaves in your absence (which hopefully will be bark-free and reassure you). Good luck!

[Holmes]

He doesn't make a noise at night, he takes himself off at about 9:30 and nothing in the world can get him out again. He sleep soundly until he wakes, and this I guess is the problem - he is waking up too early for the neighbours liking.

I will try the video camera thing, we have an iPad but not sure the memory is enough to film more than twenty minutes. We did it the first few weeks we had him  and he howled for about 5 minutes and then went to sleep, but he could have changed his mind since then.

Looking at him now, I'm so upset for him, he is happily wrestling his favourite pillow, totally unaware that the women next door is plotting his death   

We could move him to the kitchen which is away from the adjoining wall but not sure how much difference it would make, as it's just a semi detached house so any of the rooms are pretty close. I also think moving him there now might lead to a few noises nights whilst he gets used to it....he loves his play room at the moment. I'll certainly try it, but maybe in a few weeks. I don't want him howling like a banshee tonight just because he is in a different environment.

I just wished she had spoken to me, of written a note, rather than screaming and swearing through the walls, it's made things even more awkward than it needed to be.

[Poppypuppy09]

  I feel for you as I know how stressful being in this sort of situation is  When my Lucy cocker died unexpectedl Tessa my Springy couldn't cope and started barking and howling when left. The lady joined on to me never complained but didn't tell me what was happening either. The woman two houses down who doesn't speak to anyone in our little cul-de-sac wrote a note telling me I was abusing my dog and threatened to report me to the RSPCA 

I understand your neighbour's frustration to a point but hope you can work things out and move forward 

[Holmes]

What does everyone else do? I can't have the only cocker in the world who wakes up between 6:00 -6:30 am?