Cocker Specific Discussion > Oldies (Over 9s)

Too soon

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jarchie:
I haven’t posted on here for years but am wracked with guilt after my decision to put my lovely boy to sleep on Monday.

He had cancer, an enlarged liver, he was anaemic and was on medication to try and maintain his platlate levels. He was in and out of the vets virtually every month with blood tests, scans and operations to have cancerous lumps removed, they grew in his mouth and around his eyes. He was diagnosed with his ailments last November when I nearly lost him through a minor operation due to his blood not clotting, then everything came to light.

The vets said in July he was very ill on paper but to look at him you wouldn’t have known.
He became deaf and was going blind and although tired loved his walks and food.

He got an upset stomach on Friday but I wasn’t worried, on Monday he took a real turn for the worse.
I took him to the vets and they put him on fluids and antibiotics for three hours but he didn’t perk up.
The vet suggested he probably wouldn’t ever fully recover due to his other issues.
I could have seen how he went over night but he may not have survived or put him to sleep.
The thought of him being scared and alone over night and not making it seemed worse than the alternative.


Since then I can’t get over the fact I should have tried and let him go over night in the hope as before that he pulled through. I know if he hasn’t made it I’d be feeling just as wretched but now I don’t know what the outcome could have been.

I’m now not sure why I made the decision so quickly and am really struggling. Please be kind even if you think I made the wrong choice but has anyone else been in the same boat regretting the decision and how did you cope? X

Mudmagnets:
As pet owners, it is the worse decision any of us have to make, and whatever we decide I think it is fair to say it is usually the right one for the dog.

Be kind to yourself. You will find it hard enough without feeling others will judge -  I am sure they will not, who knows what each would do in the same situation. I  feel that your boy was helped in his passing by the fact you were there to comfort and say goodbye to him as he went to the bridge.

Sending some  :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: hope they help

miss holly:
I just wanted to say that I completely understand how you feel. We lost our gorgeous cocker a few months ago. She had an awful condition but to others looked completely ok. I had to make an almost instant decision to have her put to sleep after she started being sick and there was a risk she would choke ( or drown).

I have replayed that day and my decision a million times but, as time has past, I realise that I shouldn't feel guilty. I adored her but I had no choice and reading your post, neither did you. It's such an awful decision to have to make and you have my every sympathy.

Please be kind to yourself. Try not to do the 'what ifs'. Both our lovely dogs were really sick.

 Every day will start to feel a little better and, in my case, I forgive myself a little more

jarchie:
Thank you so much for the kind comments.
I expected to have longer to make the decision but it was literally minutes from when the vet told me to going back to the vets to say goodbye.
I knew it would be hard but the guilt has really taken me by surprise x

miss holly:
I had exactly the same situation. I knew it was coming but events overwhelmed us. I also felt immense guilt for weeks but we both know we did the right thing , you just don't  FEEL that yet but you will.

Remember that you only feel this bad because you loved him so much but in the end, there is only so much we can do. I'm so very sorry that this happened x

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