I have looked after Honey, the golden cocker spaniel who lives next door, whilst her mum is at work or away on holiday since they moved in when Honey was 2 years old. ten and a half years ago. I also walk Toffee, Honey's 5 year old sister, every day.
Honey had been on antibiotics and steroids for a few months. She had a large growth like lump around her lady bits which the vet thought was to do with her bladder. She has been absolutely fine, apart from looking like one of those monkeys with a red bottom. She went on holiday at Easter and when she came home it was obvious the lump was worse and other lumps (her mum is an ex-nurse and says they were tumours) were appearing almost daily and on some of them the skin was breaking down. Honey, however, was fine, she still met me everyday with a very wagging bum looking for the treat I had brought her and then rolled onto her tummy for me to tickle her and would eat anything you gave her, we knew this was probably the steroids. Her tablets were due to run out yesterday and we knew, me and her mum, that the vet would give no more, although her mum was clinging to the hope that he might.
About 10 days ago an appointment was made for 5.30 yesterday. Up until Thursday Honey, in herself, was still fine. I had warned her mum that this would happen and it did, on Thursday evening Honey looked at her as if to say 'Mum I have had enough'. I saw her early Friday morning and I could see she had deteriorated and that the appointment had been made for the right day. Her mum had to go to work but, after walking my Ellie and Toffee, I stayed with Honey. She was still eating and wagging her bum, but I knew.
She was going in and out of the house and at about 2 p.m. she wandered up the drive and lay in the sunshine on the pavement. So for over an hour that is where we stayed, her lying on the pavement and me sat on it. It was so hard, I kept looking at my watch and then looking at Honey thinking, she has 3 hours left, she has two and a half hours left, ..... My sister once homed an elderly beagle and when it was Sam's time she brought him home from the vets for one last day at home. She said she would never do it again, all she did was watch the clock and count the hours, and I know just what she meant.
We went to the vets and Honey went to the Bridge. I was telling her how she was going to have a little sleep and when she woke up she would be all well again, there would be sunshine all the time, lovely water to splodge in and a little bit of mud to roll in, and bonios galore. Her big sister Sophie would be there, as well as Felix the cat and my Sophie and they would all look after her. Her mums and my arms were around her, I was talking to her and feeding her her favourite treats right up until her eyes closed for the last time. Toffee was brought in and sniffed her all over so she would know what had happened to Honey and would not be looking for her.
I know she wasn't my dog, although I always thought of her as half mine and so did her mum, but I feel as though my insides have been ripped out.
